CoLu Week 2017
by LoadedEel
Summary: My contribution for CoLu Week 2017. August 6th to August 12th and a bonus day August 13th. Rated M for language, adult situations, and smut. Sexy snake meets sassy celestial maiden. Hold onto your butts, this shits gonna get real.
1. Announcement

All Rights to Hiro Mashima

* * *

 **~ CoLu Week 2017 ~**

 _Yah bitches. Here comes a sexy sneaky sassy snake. :3_

* * *

Welcome all, if you don't already know from **GemNika's** update or are living under a rock like a certain pink starfish we all know and love… **Dragonshost** is hosting CoLu week again from August 6th to August 12th with a super bonus day on August 13th.

This is my first 'week' that I will be participating in and I'm super excited, especially because this is CoLu and that shit is like brain crack to read.

SO!

Every single one of my stories will be rated **M** because Cobra is a super pouty mouth, and Lucy isn't much better. Also, weird situations, adult chit chats, and SMUT which will be denoted by those purity marks ( **XXX** ) for your reading pleasure. Know your limits and happy reading. Not every story will be smutty but expect enough for my inner perv to be satisfied.

* * *

I know it's a little early, but I'll give you all some teeny hints.

 **Day 1:** Blossoms

 _The flower of a plant._

 **Day 2:** Pool

 _In which one goes swimming with or without clothing._

 **Day 3:** Endearment

 _"Are you actually together?"_

 _"…Yes?"_

 _"How long?"_

 _"…Over a year."_

 **Day 4:** Hollow

 _Insincerity or false state of being._

 **Day 5:** Serpent

 _A peace offering, a beginning, a friend, a key._

 **Day 6:** Invitation

 _He can hear her, everything her soul sings. And now he's just waiting for her invitation._

 **Day 7:** Frost

 _How can one man be so cold, as if nothing around him even cracks his icy shell?_

 **Bonus Day:** Curse

 _"What does it feel like, hearing all those souls?"_

 _"Painful, excruciating." He spat the words like they were poison in his mouth, one that he couldn't stand. "It's a goddamn curse."_

* * *

Thank you guys for being so wonderful and enjoy CoLu week. Get ready, this week is gonna be awesome, can't wait for everyone else's contributions. It's gonna get a little wet in here~.

I know I will. :3


	2. Blossom

All Rights to Hiro Mashima

 **Welcome to the beginning of COLU WEEK. I am so excited. You bet your ass that I'm in love with Cobra because I will straight up say I have a huge crush on him. There is a little OOC Cobra in this one. Actually...everyone is a bit OOC, but I don't care. :3**

This is a modern AU where magic doesn't exist. Enjoy my precious cupcakes.

BEWARE THE FLUFF!

* * *

 **Day 1: Blossom**

 _In which the question "what's in a name" makes Cobra wanna bash his own skull in._

* * *

 _"…_ _Holly?"_

 _"_ _No."_

 _"_ _Amaryllis?"_

 _"…_ _you're not serious are you?"_

 _"_ _No?"_

* * *

He had noticed her one day, sitting in an overstuffed chair in the common area of his dorm eating dark chocolate chips by the handful and reading a small dog eared copy of 'Gone with the Wind.'

Erik was never the one to make the first move, nor go up to a pretty girl (he wasn't going to deny that that was what she was, cause she was absolutely adorable even with a little chocolate smudge by her full lips) and say hello.

But something in him wanted to that day.

He had gotten his courage up after gawking at her for half a minute, before hitching his organic chemistry textbook higher in his arms, and starting towards her.

Only to be too late.

In a whirlwind of pink-hair and something that smelled suspiciously like the strike pads of matchbooks, she was tackled by a fellow third year by the name of Natsu Dragneel. He had spread out his limbs all over the woman in question, prompting her to smack the back of his head lightly and adjust until she was comfortable. "Damn it Natsu, I could have lost all my chocolate! How many times do I have to tell you to look before you jump on someone?"

"Sorry Luce. You just looked so comfy. You know I'm a sucker for annoying the crap outa you."

The woman (Luce? Was it?) Rolled her eyes, moved her book until it was sitting on Natsu's back while he shuffled around until he was laying directly on top of her with his nose to her neck.

She flicked his forehead then started to run her hands through his hair with a small smile. "Damn pyro" she had added, then kept munching on her snack, his snores already filling the room.

Erik had backed out to go back down the hall, he felt like he was intruding on an intimate moment of some sort and he could study in his own room.

He ignored the little twinge he got in his heart, shrugging at his lost chance. It wasn't like he knew the woman with golden hair and if she was with someone as bright as Natsu, he would always be in his shadow.

* * *

 _"_ _Belladonna?"_

 _"_ _Not bad, put it on the maybe column. But it's kinda obvious don't you think?"_

 _"_ _What about just Bella?"_

 _"_ _I like that better than the full name. Put that in the maybe column and scratch out Belladonna."_

 _"_ _Alright."_

* * *

He saw her again a full month later at a house party everyone who was anyone was invited to. He was only there because his best friend (Macbeth) was seriously pinning after the host (Bickslow) and he had offered moral support or whatever so that his sleepy friend could gather his own courage and toe the proverbial waters of the man he thought was 'sexier than sin.'

Luce – he still didn't know if that was a full name or a nickname or her middle name – was wrapped up in the gigantic arms of a hulking blonde man who he believed was the host's best friend Laxus, an electrical engineering major. He was swinging her back and forth while she had her hands wrapped around his neck, laughing and giggling the whole while.

Macbeth slipped away from his side without a backward glance and he didn't even notice, too focused on the laughing woman in the arms of another man what wasn't him.

Wasn't she with Natsu? Did they break up and he had missed his chance to even say hello? He didn't think he had a real chance of starting anything up with the smiling blonde, but she was just so…exciting that he wanted to at least know her name.

"Oi! Sparky! Put me down you idiot!"

"Not until you promise Blondie!"

"Never, you stupid behemoth."

Laxus had thrown her down on the couch and tickled her till she cried for mercy, the surrounding crowd looking on with fond smiles as if this happened all the time. And maybe it did, he didn't know these people all that well to be honest, being a chemistry major and wasting most of his time in the labs was solo work that didn't make a lot of friends, and he preferred it that way.

Erik watched as Natsu darted forward and pulled the shrieking blonde away from Laxus and hefted her over his shoulder, cackling like a madman the whole time and dragged her kicking and screaming over to the beer keg that was being lorded over by a _very_ drunk brunette in a bikini top, and then out of sight.

"Dude, you know you're starring at her right?"

He started as Macbeth sidled up to him with a mixed drink in hand, looking a little disheveled and ruffled.

"What the hell happened to you?"

Macbeth looked over his shoulder to the blue-haired grinning man eyeing him and gave a strangled little laugh. "Uhm…"

Erik had chortled and snorted. "Looks like your talk went well."

"That man has the tongue of a God."

"Alright. That's just fucking gross. Never say shit like that again."

"Whatever man. Just telling the truth. But I'm…not going to be back to the dorm tonight if things go well."

"I see. I think I'll head out then as my mission is complete. I have an early lab tomorrow anyways."

"Alright."

He had turned away, but thought better of it after a moment. Maybe Macbeth knew her from somewhere.

"Do you know her name?"

"Who? The tiny blonde with the killer ass?"

Erik raised his eyebrow at that one. If he didn't already know that Macbeth was all for the penis, he would have been a little annoyed at the quip. "Sure. Yeah. That one."

"Yeah I do. It's Lucy. Lucy Heartfilia. She and I have an English class together. She has a brilliant mind for creative writing and loves to read old classics."

Now the book she was reading the first time he had glimpsed her made more sense. "Thanks."

Macbeth had nodded then swayed away into the arms of Bickslow (damn that fucker was smooth as shit) and Erik left the party with a name.

* * *

 _"_ _Columbine."_

 _"_ _What—"_

 _"_ _Forget I said that. I already vetoed that one."_

 _"_ _How about I suggest some. Heather."_

 _"…_ _not bad. Put it on the maybe column?"_

 _"_ _No. I already hate it."_

 _"…_ _Sweet Mavis, why is this so hard?"_

 _"_ _Because we are both stubborn little shits."_

 _"_ _You love it."_

 _"_ _Yah. I do."_

* * *

Not even two days later had Erik back in that common room on a long weekend. Most had gone out of town to be with family and friends, but he didn't have any family to go home to, so he stayed and caught up on a write up for biophysics.

It took him half an hour to realise that he wasn't alone anymore, and that the soft swooshing sound that he was hearing was in fact, pages turning.

To his surprise, it turned out to be Lucy Heartfilia, the woman that had captured his attention against his own judgement.

He must have made some type of noise, because she looked up at him with big amber eyes and smiled. "Hi! You're Erik, right?"

He nodded, a little dazed and a lot dumbfounded.

"I've heard about you from Macbeth. That man has a knack for Shakespearian poetry."

"Huh?" That was about the dumbest thing he had ever said in his life, and it just had to be to this woman. Of course.

She breezed over it and kept right on talking. "Chemistry major, right? I always had trouble with it in high school."

To his delight, his tongue untied itself enough for him to ask a simple question. "What do you plan to do with an English major?"

"Teach I think. I've always liked kids, even if some of them are snot-nosed brats. What about you?"

"Research."

"Anything specific?"

"Naturally occurring botanical poisons."

"That's…really specific. Why did you choose that?"

"It was either that or poisonous animals, I was always interested in both, but I like plants better. Less likely to bite you."

Her laugh at his flippant remark made his pride soar for a moment, before he remembered that she was spoken for. At least this was a step in the right direction towards maybe being friends with her. He decided to close his book and give her the undivided attention she deserved, the woman was intriguing to say the least.

They had whiled away that lonely evening in each other's company asking questions and talking about their mutual friends (Bickslow and Macbeth? No wonder that guy hasn't come out of his room for two days! Laxus just thought that he's been moping…) and he had actually enjoyed getting to know her a little better.

She had left with a little wave and a big smile, calling him Cobra for reasons only she knew and wouldn't tell him, so he had given her a nickname as well (Buttercup, because they were cute like she was, but also poisonous if ingested) and she seemed to not hate him for even suggesting that one, so he rolled with it.

"Later Buttercup."

"See you Cobra."

* * *

 _"_ _Clematis"_

 _"_ _What the actual fuck Cobra?"_

 _"_ _Fine. Fine. Lily."_

 _"…_ _maybe?"_

 _"_ _Jade."_

 _"_ _No. You know that my cousin Hisui would pitch an almighty fit about that. She's the only 'Jade' that matters apparently."_

 _"_ _Aster."_

 _"_ _No."_

 _"_ _Begonia."_

 _"_ _Do you want her to hate you forever? Cause I guarantee she will. And I will throw you under the bus if she ever asked who came up with the name."_

 _"_ _You're heartless babe."_

 _"_ _Only for you, love."_

* * *

At least three nights a week from then on were filled with the easy back and forth between them as they disregarded the mayhem and turmoil around them in the common room he always found her in. Sometimes she had come to see him – which he really liked to hear – and sometimes it was because Natsu had wanted her there, which he didn't like as much, but he could deal with it.

She was inquisitive and liked to ask a million questions about his work and confessed that she didn't understand most of what he said, but liked to hear him talk, his voice was soothing. (He had actually blushed like a little school girl when she had said that.) And he admitted that English was always hard for him because he had never seen the need for all those filler words when it could be simple, like science.

They had argued good naturedly over that for a while.

Sometimes he sat in silence as she read and he did homework, sometimes she brought scrabble or chess and they were well matched in both.

Some nights Natsu was there, slumped over Lucy like a living blanket to which she would grumble about even though she knew that he wasn't going to move because she was damn comfy, something that he told her daily apparently. _Even if_ his nose was shoved between her glorious tits as he napped.

 _Lucky bastard…_

Erik had never known jealousy like that before, he wanted to be the one draped all over Lucy with his face smushed into her ample bosom. But, alas, he got to sit and watch as _another man that wasn't him did it instead._

Never once did they speak of the relationship she had with any men, and not once did she ask about whether or not he had a girlfriend.

* * *

 _"_ _Poppy? Wait. No. Not that, I'm already cringing."_

 _"_ _Good call. Nerine? Virginia? China?"_

 _"_ _No to the first and damn Buttercup, she's not a geographical location."_

 _"_ _Fine, fine. Let's hear another of yours, He-who-knows-all-the-perfect-names."_

 _"_ _May."_

 _"_ _BOOOO. Wrong."_

 _"_ _Sweet mother of Mavis this is hard."_

 _"_ _Making her was a lot easier."_

 _"_ _You got that right."_

* * *

One innocuous night, in the beginning of their final year of their degrees, she had asked him if he was going to the Halloween bash at Bickslow's, to which he answered that he was, because Macbeth was so damn enamored with the man that he had to be there to make sure they didn't start fucking in the living room.

Lucy had laughed cheerfully and told him she would help in his mission. "I'll see you tomorrow at the party Cobra, don't forget your costume."

He had grunted and waved her away back to her own room – he still didn't quite know where she was staying, not really wanting to hear that she was going back to sleep with Natsu – and resigned himself to pulling out that old pirate costume of his again. It was tried and true and he looked devilishly handsome in it, if he did say so himself.

Macbeth had practically dragged his piratey ass down to Bickslow's party that was already in full swing. He had never seen so many drunken slutty nurses in his life, but there was always a first for everything.

Bickslow materialised as if from the shadows the moment his boyfriend had one foot inside the doorway and Erik watched in slight disgust as his best friend was suddenly pushed against a wall by a tipsy blue-haired knight and had a tongue shoved down his throat.

Gross.

But his mind was almost immediately ripped away from that displeasing sight by the arrival of a blur of green and gold.

Lucy had attacked him with a full body hug, her cheeks pinked from the alcohol she had already had – he could smell tequila, Cana's drink of choice usually – and he had given her a soft smile while hugging her back.

What? He was a man and she jumped on him first. Who was he to resist all that softness? He reasoned that if this was the best it ever got, and Natsu came out from nowhere like the sneaky bastard was prone to do – he was like a freaking ninja some days – and stole her attention away from him, he might as well enjoy it while he could.

She had wiggled down out of his arms laughing as she perused his costume with critical eyes.

"You make a damn fine pirate Cobra." She had stroked one hand down his bicep and winked. "Very sexy. I bet you get all the booty in this."

Flabbergasted (was she flirting with him? Him?) and slightly wary, Erik had let out a strangled laugh at her pun. "Oh yeah. All the ladies love a one-eyed bastard." He really did like the eye-patch, made him look super authentic and shit.

"I think we must be the best ever because without speaking we sort of coordinated our costumes." He finally really looked at what she was wearing.

"Great minds think alike Buttercup." And he laughed as she winked, her skin glittering with sparkles in the strobing light. "You make a cute Tinkerbell."

She smiled sweetly at that and Erik felt like he had just won the lottery.

"So, Captain Hook. Care to join me for a drink?"

"You betcha Tink." He would go anywhere she asked, he was enamored with her completely and had finally stopped lying to himself earlier that year. And damn did she look amazing in that skin tight, short ass green dress, mischievous smile and all. He was pretty sure that if she asked him to jump off a cliff he would absolutely dive head first.

She giggled, then grabbed his hand and led him towards the counter filled with drinks being safeguarded by the huge Laxus. He gulped down his confusion and trepidation as the muscly blonde eyed their clasped hands, she hadn't let go of him yet and he was reveling in the feeling of being connected to her in any way.

"Big Brother! I need a drink for my pirate! And another for myself!"

 _Big Brother?_ Everything made so much sense as he watched the two interact together. They teased and annoyed each other like any siblings would. He messed up her bun to which she swatted at his arm and pouted.

Laxus was her brother.

A weight was lifted off his shoulder and he could breathe a little easier. Laxus and Lucy weren't together. He could have asked months ago, but truthfully didn't want an answer because there was a chance that she could have said yes and he would honestly be a little heart broken.

He didn't even want to think about the pink-haired chemical engineer.

Erik's attention was snapped back to Lucy as she handed him a beer and then dragged him towards the dance floor. (Truthfully, it was more of an open space where people where dry humping each other to a sick ass beat.) His heart beat ratcheted up a few notches thinking about her grinding against him.

To his disappointment, she had walked right passed the living room to step out doors onto the wooden deck. Which was fine, he could use a little fresh air.

Lucy suddenly stopped in her march towards the patio furniture that held some of her friends and clapped a hand to her mouth to stifle a squeal.

Erik was confused for a moment as he bumped into her back while she dropped their clasped hands, then his jaw dropped. "Holy mother of Mavis…what the fuck?"

Lucy didn't answer him because there wasn't anything to say. Neither of them could look away from the sight before them. It was like a slow motion car wreck. Gruesome, but entirely riveting.

But instead of two cars colliding head on, it was Natsu straddling a half-naked man Erik recognized as Gray Fullbuster and making out like their lives depended on it.

 _What the actual fuck is going on? Is he…cheating on Lucy?_

And then his mind stuttered out and ground to a halt completely as Lucy threw both her hands up in the air and yelled at the top of her lungs. "WOOHOO! Get some Natsu! Finally!"

Erik watched as Natsu ripped his mouth off of Gray's, eyes glazed and grinned towards Lucy – who was now wolf whistling – then winked at her. Then the make out session they had been watching dissolved suddenly into a wrestling match between the two men complete with petty, childish insults and nipple twisting.

Lucy rocked back on her heels and giggled watching Erik's still slackened face. A single finger closed his jaw with a small click of his teeth before his brain jump started again. "What the hell did I just watch?"

"Oh that?" The little blonde fairy waved her hand towards where Natsu had Gray in a headlock and calling him Frosty Balls.

He nodded.

"Hopefully the beginning of a very long romance. They love each other, but both dickheads are so fucking _stubborn!_ Mavis, they've been dancing around each other _for years_. What with Natsu's adorable naivety and Gray's indifference towards relationships, it's a wonder they even got to this point at all. Probably had something to do with the alcohol they were drinking. Rum makes Gray really affectionate and Natsu is just a touchy-feely person in general, it was bound to happen sometime. Erza and I have been trying to get them together like this since first year."

Lucy fist bumped a red-haired samurai warrior princess as she walked past with a small smirk, a blue haired, tattooed grim reaper plastered to her side.

"Wait…I thought you were together. You're telling me that Natsu…the guy that fucking drapes himself all over you every chance he gets is…gay."

"Yes. Flamboyantly. How did you not notice? He's not exactly subtle. It's _Natsu_ for the Gods' sakes, he actually yelled if from the rooftops once I think. And no. Ew. He's like…my stupid younger brother who likes to use my boobs as pillows like an asshole because he knows I can't say no to him." She shrugged again and took a long pull of her beer. "What can I say, that guy really loves to be a power bottom and he is _not_ shy in telling literally everyone."

"Huh." How had he not noticed this apparent flamboyantly homosexual pink-haired man? Why had he never asked Lucy about her relationship with Natsu before?

Oh.

That's right.

Because he was a fucking coward.

Erik was suddenly done standing in the shadows. He wanted to bathe in Lucy's light and he didn't know when he would have a sudden burst of courage like this again.

He pulled Lucy to a corner of the deck that wasn't as populated with drunken party goers, Natsu and Gray's weird groping make-out fight turning into background noise. "Lucy. Are you seeing anyone?"

Lucy's bewildered expression melted with each word. "Nope. Are you?"

"Nope."

"Alright then."

"…alright."

She took a swig of beer that drained her bottle, then set it down on a nearby table.

Erik decided to take the opportunity to throw all his cards down and show his whole hand. He grabbed her shoulder, spun her around and kissed her soundly.

She was frozen for all of three seconds, before she moaned deeply and moved her mouth against his own.

When air was absolutely needed, she backed off panting, her chest heaving in that tiny green dress of hers. Erik had brought his forehead down onto hers and smiled wide, just for her.

Lucy huffed a small laugh and grinned back. "Finally."

"Yah, fucking _finally_. Now come here Buttercup. I'm not done with you…"

Not even Natsu's own whistle and loud exclamation could tear them apart.

* * *

 _"_ _Jessamine? Or just Jessie?"_

 _"_ _Hmmm…Jessamine. Not Jessie. The first one sounds sweet."_

 _"_ _So? The maybe column?"_

 _"_ _Yes."_

 _"_ _Holly."_

 _"_ _No. Not after…"_

 _"_ _I gotcha babe. Christmas will always be tainted. Damn that pyrodick."_

 _"_ _Keep going Cobra, she's rolling over my bladder again and I want to get through these last few for today."_

 _"_ _Juniper."_

 _"…_ _Uhm."_

 _"_ _Veto?"_

 _"_ _Veto."_

* * *

The last year of their degrees blew past, and before anyone was truly aware of it, they were all sitting a little dumbfounded in front of the dean, graduating.

Erik searched high and low for his golden haired beauty after the ceremony to possibly sneak a 'congratulation-you-fucking-did-it' make out session behind a tree somewhere, still a little off kilter from the loss of his right eye. His depth perception was still wonky and he couldn't drive, but it was alright, as long as Lucy still looked at him like he was the sexiest bastard on the face of the planet.

And she did, so it was cool.

Thank the Gods that he had only lost an eye when he was jumped for his wallet five months ago and he still had his life. He could still measure chemicals and do his prized research when he only had one eye. Lucy had been a very terrifying mix of scared and livid when she had been called to the hospital after he had been allowed to use the phone.

He had made exactly two calls. The first was to Macbeth, who sounded like he actually fainted when he heard, and the second was to Lucy who was scarily nonchalant about the whole thing. That was until he saw her eyes and the absolute fury that radiated off her form. For a moment, he thought he fucked up, that she was mad at him for being weak, but when her mask had started to crack and she had begun to cuss like a sailor about all the explicit things she would do when she got her hands on the mother fuckers who did this to him made his heart a little warmer, he knew it was because someone had hurt him and she was worried.

He told her that night that he was entirely in love with her, and it was the first time she had cracked a smile since he had phoned.

(She said those words right back at him without a second thought and gave him a mind boggling kiss that had nothing to do with the pain killers he was on.)

She was like a whirlwind of anger and golden hair, hell bent on getting him recuperated, doing homework, keeping him updated on the latest break-up slash make-up of their favourite couples whom they watched like a bad midday soap opera, and wanting to get revenge on the fucker that had tried to take him out over twenty bucks.

He had fought back, because it was a gut reaction and he didn't even think about it, but it had cost him an eye. Erik didn't really mind and Lucy told him he looked like a scary badass, and if she didn't cringe when she looked at him, but had taken up kissing his scar lightly every night, he was alright with the loss. He was a little excited to wear the pirate's costume again because with his scar, he would look like the coolest mother fucking pirate ever.

Erik was also deliriously happy that Lucy hadn't come with him on his midnight need for coffee because he had been dumb enough to put off an advanced organic chemistry lab like a stupid freshman.

They had moved out of the dorms and into a small apartment in the same building as her brother and his…Freed (they didn't have a label yet, but they were as devoted to each other as any other couple so it didn't matter as long as they were happy) a month after they had gotten together in October. Some said it was too soon, but they didn't care. It was their life, and Erik knew pretty quickly that Lucy would be it for him.

He had already gone to Laxus for his blessing because Lucy had once told him that her father was as good as dead to her for reasons unknown to him, but he didn't push for that information because he didn't need to know every secret she had. Laxus had punched him in the arm, but ultimately gave him the go ahead if anything were to progress.

"Cobra!"

He eyed his wonderful girlfriend resplendent in a soft peach tea dress and wedge sandals. She was waving at him from a few feet away with a pleading look on her face. It was pinched and she looked extremely panicked.

He hated when she wasn't smiling and strode up to her and wrapped a possessive arm around her middle. He was seriously alarmed when she practically sagged into his side like she was dead tired even though he knew that they had more than enough sleep last night so that they could deal with today without passing out in the middle of that nights festivities. "You okay Buttercup? You look a little pale."

Lucy shook her head and nodded jerkily to the stoic blonde man in front of her that he only just noticed.

He scrutinised the person who had made his little spit fire of a woman all timid and shaky. "Who are you?"

The man grunted at Erik's rude tone and bristled, addressing the blonde in his arms as if he didn't exist at all. "You call this man your boyfriend and yet he doesn't even know who I am?"

Lucy blinked up at Erik for a moment who nodded, taking his cue from her. "I want you to meet my father, Jude Heartfilia. Father, this is Co—Erik Ophis, my boyfriend."

Stunned for a moment, Erik just nodded at the man, who shook his head in disgust, eyeing his scar and pierced ears. "I expected better than this from you Lucillia. Contact me when you come to your senses, I will be waiting." And then he walked away from his daughter, whose knees almost collapsed, but Cobra held her weight easily.

As if she had shone the bat signal in the sky, all their friends then chose to descend on them like they were hovering birds of prey just waiting to pick a carcass clean.

The most vocal, was of course, Natsu. "Luce. What the hell was he doing here? Did he hurt you again?"

 _Again? What the fuck?_

He was entirely sure that he had never heard of Lucy's father ever hurting her, physically or otherwise. But with one look in her haunted eyes that made him cringe, he knew that there would be a big talk later about some things that was well overdue.

She had shook her head and snuggled into his arms. And he swelled with pride that out of everyone in their circle of friends, she had come to him for comfort.

"I wanna go home Cobra."

"No problem. I gotcha covered Buttercup."

* * *

 _"_ _Alright. Buttercup. We got this, it shouldn't be this hard to pick out two words that we like, right? We just need to pick two fucking names and then we can relax again."_

 _"_ _I know. It's just…she's gunna have this name for the rest of her life. What if she hates it? What if she hates us for naming her something fucking weird? What if she gets teased for it?!"_

 _"_ _Baby. Shhhh…you know you have better judgement than that."_

 _"_ _Okay. You're right. Lay some more on me Cobra."_

 _"_ _That's my girl. Okay…Azalea."_

 _"_ _Too obvious."_

 _"_ _Alright. What about Hyacinth?"_

 _"_ _Veto. No. Uh uh."_

 _"_ _So I guess we can just cross out Hydrangea then too."_

 _"_ _If you don't want me to fucking divorce you then yeah."_

 _"_ _Good call."_

* * *

Lucy had sat him down after he had made her some tea and brought out her favourite fuzzy blanket to wrap her up in so that she felt safe. "You know my full name, so you must know of _who_ my father is right?"

Cobra shook his head no. "You know I'm originally from Seven and only moved here for school. Most of my time is spent reading scientific journals on plants that could kill you, so no, I don't keep up with the gossip."

"Ever heard of Love and Lucky? The conglomerate that owns all the transportation in Fiore? Air, land, and sea travel?"

"Vaguely. Isn't it worth like multiple billions even after the stock market crash three years ago?"

"Yes. It's my father's company. He created it with my mother when they were barely out of College."

"Holy crap."

"Exactly. I was brought up in a very loving family. Just me, my momma, and my father. Then my mother died when I was six and it all went to shit. My father was so distant that I didn't see him for weeks, sometimes for months, and I only had my maids for companionship. Which was alright, they were very kind people. But I was so lonely. I was never let out of the house, or off the grounds, and was tutored instead of going to school. I learned business, multiple languages, accounting, and had lessons on child-rearing and how to be a good wife."

"That's just…"

"Fucked up? I know, and mind you this was all before I turned fourteen."

"Shit."

"Then when I was sixteen, I went an entire six months without seeing my father, before I was called into his office and told, point blank, that he had signed a contract with another family and arranged a _union_ between their eldest son and me, on my next birthday."

"Seventeen? This isn't the dark ages, what the actual fuck?"

Lucy nodded and sipped her tea, gathering her thoughts. "I back talked him, yelling about how my life was my own, how I wasn't some little china doll to be sold off. I wasn't an object. But it didn't matter, the contract was signed and sealed without my permission. He back handed me when I got too close and told me to remember my station. That night I started to plan my escape. Two weeks later I had gathered enough money and clothes and with the help of a couple of the maids, I ran away. I was so over my head and terrified. I wound up in Hargeon, sleeping in a hotel and wandering the streets by day. I literally ran into Natsu there, and he was kind and stupid and brilliant. He took me with him back to Magnolia and I stayed with him and Laxus, finishing up high school at Fairy Tail and having the time of my life with my friends."

He shifted her into his lap while she sniffled a little at the old memories. "He sent bounty hunters after me when his private investigators couldn't do the job. Eventually someone did find me, but after I screamed at him that I didn't want to go home and that I would rather die than be subjected to an arranged marriage…we joined forces and he hid me for a while with the help of Natsu and Laxus. Gajeel hadn't always been the best man, but he got out of that business and we all enrolled together at the college."

"What? Gajeel—? You mean Gajeel Redfox the lead singer of Metalicanna? The death metal band?"

"Weird right? He dropped out when he met Juvia and Rogue, and now they're headlining for the Slayers."

"Damn. Small fucking world."

"I know, it's wild, but he treats me like a little sister and watches my back like Laxus does. But, back to the story…my father found me after a while and instead of dragging me back – seeing as Laxus actually threatened him with physical bodily harm and you know that Natsu _loves_ to burn stuff – he told me that he was waiting for me to get my shit together and come back to the place where I belong. Like I'm some sort of trophy or object or something."

"You don't have to go back you know."

She smiled then and sighed against his neck as his arms wound around her. "I know. This feels more like home than that place _ever_ did. You know that Natsu would hunt me down…and Mira would be pissed and Laxus would go all homicidal and shit. No one would survive."

"You know that I would be after your stupid ass for getting kidnapped in the first place."

"Kidnapped?"

"Only way I'm letting you go Buttercup. And even then…I would just fucking poison everyone and take you back and you know that."

"You're one possessive bastard."

He smiled down at her a little feral glint in his eyes. "You betcha babe."

* * *

 _"_ _Persephone?"_

 _"_ _Maybe. No. Yes? I don't know."_

 _"_ _Okay. Andromeda."_

 _"_ _God, I hate that story. Parents sacrificing their only child cause they couldn't help but run their mouths? No thank you."_

 _"_ _It's a legend Cobra."_

 _"_ _Still no. I won't have any daughter of mine be named after a woman that was sacrificed to a sea monster."_

 _"_ _She was saved though."_

 _"_ _Nope. I'll be the only one saving my daughter and you know that. I'm a—"_

 _"_ _Possessive bastard, I know."_

 _"_ _Exactly."_

 _"_ _Leona…like the constellation for Leo, but feminine?"_

 _"_ _You know that shit is ruined for me since…"_

 _"…_ _fucking Loke."_

 _"_ _Gotcha. Veto."_

* * *

"Did you get it?"

"Yes."

"I knew it! I knew it!" Lucy danced around their living room as he smiled fondly. His internship was up and he was now a fully fledged researcher contracted out of the same college that they had graduated from with the option to become a professor.

She jumped onto his front like a damn spider monkey and kissed him until his lips were numb and the only thing he knew was her smile and her sparkling eyes.

He was so happy. Everything was lining up for him. A job, a good life, friends, Lucy…everything was finally good.

So, in a fit of brilliance that he knew would maybe come back and bite him in the ass, he wanted to make it better.

"Marry me."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Dammit. No. Wait…that wasn't how I was supposed to say it. But I don't care now. Yes. Fucking marry me Lucy. I don't give a damn about who you used to be and I won't ever treat you like your father did, you know that. And you can take my name and be Lucy Ophis or stay Lucy Heartfilia or whatever you want. Just…I want you in my life and I know that you're it for me."

She had been nodding and smiling and giggling through his whole heartfelt speech. "Yes."

"Just like that?"

Lucy kissed his scar and gave him such a breathtaking little grin that his brain mentally shut down for a moment. "Just like that."

He kissed her slowly, enjoying those lips of hers for as long as possible. Who needed breathing anyways? "I have a ring Buttercup." She kissed him again (and again and again…) moaning as he shifted her in his arms and made his way to their bedroom. "I'll give it to you later. Right now I need a taste of that sugar between your thighs."

Her eye roll could actually be heard and she slapped him up side his head. "Pervert."

"You have no fucking idea. Only for you though."

"I know. Take me to bed Cobra and I might give you a little treat."

He had never moved faster in his life.

* * *

 _"_ _Joan."_

 _"_ _Nope."_

 _"_ _Matilda."_

 _"_ _She's not eighty years old Buttercup."_

 _"_ _Damn it! It shouldn't be this hard!"_

 _"_ _I know. But it is."_

 _"_ _Fine. What about…oh! Lavender?"_

 _"_ _Why do you keep suggesting plants?"_

 _"…_ _cause that's part of you, and she's part of you."_

 _"…_ _damn."_

 _"_ _Are you fucking crying?"_

 _"_ _NO!"_

 _"_ _Weepy little bitch aren't you Cobra?"_

 _"_ _Shut your pretty little face hole."_

* * *

Two months into planning for their wedding that was supposed to be a small affair with their close friends had turned into something so extravagant that even Erik couldn't make heads or tails out of it and he was an honest to the Gods genius.

Mira and Erza and weirdly enough, Gray – he was _very_ good at colour matching for some odd reason that no one wanted to talk about – had turned their lives into a fucking three ringed circus. Everything they talked about was about the wedding, the flowers, the china and he had absolutely no time with the love of his fucking life anymore.

And he fucking _hated it._

But, Lucy seemed happy, and she sort of had this…glow about her that made her even more beautiful so if she was smiling then it would all be fine.

Until two months and seven days into the wedding plans – which had literally started the day after they had gotten engaged, silver ring with a single emerald glinting on top firmly in place – Lucy dropped the biggest most amazing news in his lap without any preamble.

He was blindsided, entirely. Which wasn't saying much, cause he was literally blind in one eye, but it was true all the same.

"Erik."

He knew something was up cause she absolutely never, _ever_ used his real name. Not unless it was important.

"I'm pregnant."

Yes. Of course. Pregnant. That…that was super important wasn't it?

So, while his mind took yet another hike to a galaxy far, far away and stayed there for a while, a creeping smile stole over his face and a feeling of absolute elation bubbled up in the pit of his stomach.

"We…we're gunna be parents babe?" He slid to the floor in front of her and leant his forehead against her still flat abdomen. Parents. He was going to be a dad to a baby with his fiancée.

He was going to be a father and be responsible for a little baby. He made a life.

Erik was going to have an honest to god family with Lucy. "Please Lucy. Tell me this is true. Tell me this is real and not a damn dream where I wake up and I have nothing. _Please._ "

She laughed and wiped a single tear that had escaped her eyes. "It's real baby. I promise. I went to a doctor yesterday. Porlyusica. You would love her; she's an old bat and hates _everything_."

"And?"

"Healthy, everything is fine."

"Shit. That's good. That's…f-fucking… _dammit you make me so fucking happy._ "

"Are you crying?"

"Yes. You just made me the happiest bastard one the fucking planet. I'm gonna be a dad. To a little baby Buttercup. We're going to be a family. Shit, of course I'm crying and I don't give a damn."

"I know." And suddenly they were both crying on their living room floor, the happiest sons of bitches there ever was.

Cobra wiped the snot and tears off his face onto his sweater. "Marry me Lucy."

Her wet giggle made him smile a little through his tears. "You can't ask me again. I'm already your fiancée. And I already said yes."

"No. I mean…marry me tomorrow. Or today…right goddamn now."

"What? But the plans…?"

"Screw the plans. Screw Mira and Erza and the colours and flowers and the band. Screw it all. Marry me tomorrow. City hall, I'll call Macbeth and Bixs, you get Laxus and the Fire bastard. That was all I wanted in the first place."

She kissed his so thoroughly that he couldn't help but pop a weird halfer in his pants because damn did his little vixen know how to use that tongue of hers.

"Thank Mavis. All of this shit reminds me too much of my old life. I wanted it outdoors and small and they have been taking it way too far. It's getting out of hand and I don't know how to say no to those two demons."

"Don't worry. After tomorrow…there won't be any need for all that shit. We can spend the money on our little monster."

She hummed lightly and hugged him tight.

Shit. He was the luckiest man to ever live and he was going to have a _baby_.

* * *

 _"_ _How about…Magnolia."_

 _"_ _Veto."_

 _"_ _Hmmm…I actually agree with you on that one."_

 _"_ _Its cause a mother knows best."_

 _"_ _Sure. Whatever you say."_

 _"_ _You little fucker! You know it's true."_

 _"_ _I'll believe it when—don't fucking hit me with a pillow! Damn I forgot about that arm you have. She's gonna be so strong when she finally pops out of you."_

 _"_ _Cobra…she's not like…an alien that's about to like…burst out of my chest or something. Not a Spaceballs situation here either."_

 _"_ _I know that. But it's better than thinking about her ripping her way through your vagina. I like your pussy the way it is babe."_

 _"_ _Shut up you freak."_

 _"_ _Love you."_

* * *

They were married the next day at two in the afternoon where a judge by the name of Richard declared them so in love that he would wed them on the spot. Which was good for them, he supposed. Lucy wore a floaty white summer dress with flowers wound through her hair and Cobra in his best button up shirt and black pants, they had come together and smiled and said the traditional vows. Laxus and Natsu stood on her side, while Bixs and Macbeth on his. The phone calls to all parties had been…interesting to say the least. Macbeth had cried, Laxus had been more than confused and a little weary until Lucy had used her little sister powers on him, and Natsu had been along for the ride. Because whatever Lucy wanted, she would get in his eyes.

No one else knew where they were, not even Gray – who would worry a little bit but would ultimately shrug it off as just a new facet of his boyfriend, the idiot – and it was everything that they could hope for.

Small.

Intimate.

Easy.

Nothing like the fancy extravaganza that Erza had in the making. There was no cake, but after the 'I do's' and the customary kiss that went on a little too long, but was passionate enough to melt his wide into his side – he had a fucking wife! Shit that was amazing. – They all went out for a late lunch. There were no speeches, but there were hugs galore. There wasn't a honeymoon, but they didn't mind. Lucy and Erik would rather spend every last cent they had to their name on a little house and on the nursery.

Lucy had turned to him and grinned when she had passed on Laxus' offer to buy a bottle of champagne. "I can't Sparky. I'm pregnant."

With a whoosh and a hacking cough, Natsu had been covered in spit and water curtesy of Laxus. "What?" His voice had cracked and squeaked.

Lucy had only sighed in exasperation at his wild eyed look. Her big brother was certainly strange sometimes. "It was confirmed yesterday. I'm pregnant. About two months."

Laxus nodded and gathered himself up to his full height while everyone else was still gawking with their mouths open – except Natsu who was still wiping his face off – at the news. He turned those stormy eyes on Cobra and fucking _growled_ like some sort of bear or something. "Is this why you eloped?"

"What? No you idiot. We didn't want a big wedding and it was supposed to be intimate, but no one listened to us. This was only an excuse to do it this way even though it was bound to happen like this no matter what."

"Luce? This was what you wanted?"

"Yes Natsu. I promise."

"Alright. That should be good enough for anyone. And if Mira gets pissed…I'll just tell her it was Gray's fault."

Cobra chuckled while Laxus still looked sceptical. "You're an evil bastard Natsu."

Macbeth and Bix seemed to be over their shock and ate the rest of their desserts with their eyes glued to the interesting soap opera going on in front of them.

"Sparky…you know you're the Godfather right? And you're going to be an Uncle. Please be okay with this…"

And then they watched the massive blonde literally melt into a puddle of goo at the mention of the baby and how he would actually be an Uncle. "You're serious Blondie? Godfather?"

"Yep! Who else would it be?"

Natsu raised his hand, pouting. "What the hell? What about me?"

"You have dibs on the next child."

Cobra almost got whiplash looking back at his wife who was curled into his side in the booth. "Next child? You want more?"

"I was an only child growing up Cobra, and that was so lonely. I want like…a pack of them. A fucking army. At _least_ thirty-three. You cool with that?"

Hell yeah he was fine with that. "Fuck yes babe. As many as we can make."

"Okay. Gross. No. Stop with that, I didn't need those mental pictures."

"Speak for yourself. I bet Lu here is a beast in the sex. Sexy fucking bitch."

Lucy's eyes sparkled. "Damn straight Bixy."

Laxus covered his ears and Natsu looked pained. "Please stop."

"Fine. What about the God mother?"

"I was thinking Levy, or maybe Wendy. Both of them are so wonderful and nurturing." Lucy hummed as she swiped a strawberry off Cobra's plate.

Laxus leaned back in his chair. "You know Mira's going to absolutely murder you."

"I know."

And that was the end of that. They chatted and talked about plans for a nursery and about a house for themselves – Natsu was actually helpful in this one, as he worked for the city in demolitions and knew all the houses that were being sold by the government for cheap. Then they all went their separate ways with many hugs and smiles and warm feelings in their hearts.

Lucy and Erik's apartment suddenly felt too small and he fell asleep wrapped around her like an anaconda dreaming of a massive family in his future.

* * *

 _"_ _Lacey?"_

 _"_ _Sounds a bit…"_

 _"…_ _like a stripper? Yeah, no thanks."_

 _"_ _Summer?"_

 _"_ _Natsu would never let that go. Ever."_

 _"_ _Petunia."_

 _"_ _Cobra…"_

 _"_ _Fuck. I know. Mavis this is ridiculous."_

 _"_ _Dammit. Did I just fucking pee the bed?"_

 _"_ _Uhm. I don't—"_

 _"_ _Call Laxus…and Natsu. And Bix and Macbeth. Just…fucking get everyone. My water broke and she's coming and she STILL DOESN'T HAVE A NAME!"_

* * *

Six months into her pregnancy, Lucy's first book was published and everyone was elated. After the double bomb drop four months prior about the baby and them eloping without telling the majority of their friends, this was the first time they had all gathered together for a party.

It was held in Lucy and Eriks' newly fixed and renovated home, and the party doubled as a house warming. It was raucous and loud and everything they remembered from college. But now they had a house and a baby and they were married and deliriously happy.

Erza and Mira had gotten over their hurt feelings about the wedding after learning about Lucy's upbringing, but were still smarting slightly as they were passed over for God Mother. Levy – who had come with her almost-boyfriend Gajeel – was ecstatic. Lucy and her had bonded years before in a lost language class before Levy had graduated early and become Metalicanna's very shrewd manager and accountant.

Life was good.

Two days later they would decide to open the note from Porlyusica about the gender of their little baby after a very intense…discussion – complete with waving hands and snarling – over paint colours and clothing. They were having a little girl.

Cobra, the man who had nothing left only two years earlier…was having a baby girl. Shit he was going to cry again.

It was then that Lucy scrapped every idea that they had had before for the paint and decided to go with a something that resembled the sky at dusk. And plastered little glow in the dark stars all over the ceiling with Laxus and Bickslow's help. She had learned about the stars from her mother, and she wanted to give that to her daughter.

He didn't care either way, as long as he got to hold his baby in his arms, listen to her screams, watch her grow into a beautiful woman, and be entirely sleep deprived for most of this life while he lost his hair prematurely.

It sounded all right to him at least.

Three weeks later Cobra was given a choice…become a professor in his given field or keep researching. It was an easy decision for him, and come the next semester, he was known to scare the pants off of upper class men and was deemed the bamf of the science department. No one annoyed him and he was a hard grader. He didn't tolerate any shit and for that, he was respected. He liked the sound of Professor Ophis very much.

And so did his very pregnant wife. It was a stable job and he still got to dick around with the labs every now and again.

(When their daughter turned two, Lucy would start to branch out and ultimately be invited to teach a freshman course in poetry. No one really suspected that they were married, or even a couple because they kept it very kosher at the campus until they were caught in a chaste kiss by Jackal one afternoon. From then on, Lucy was respected as the 'woman who could tame that cranky bastard in the chemistry building.' He didn't enjoy the name, but Lucy would only laugh at his grumpy expression.)

* * *

 _"_ _I can't Cobra…It hurts too much…No more. Give me the drugs."_

 _"_ _It's too late love. You're too far along. Porly told me that she's a fast one, ready to get out into the world."_

 _"_ _Shit. I'm so tired babe. Can you push for me next time? I just need a rest."_

 _"_ _Damn I love you so much. Come on Lucy. Breathe deep alright? I wanna see my little girl, see how gorgeous her eyes are, see how much she looks like her beautiful mother. You can do it."_

 _"_ _Alright. FUCK! Dammit! Cobra…di—distract me?"_

 _"_ _Shit. Okay. What about Daphne?"_

 _"_ _What? ARRRGGH!"_

 _"_ _For the name."_

 _"_ _I—I like it. A lot."_

 _"_ _Alright babe. One more push. I love you."_

* * *

"Blue eyes?"

"They'll change…probably. I hope they get yours."

Lucy smiled up at him, her hair plastered to her skin, but never looking more amazing. She glowed with that little bundle of fucking joy in her arms, and she was crying because apparently hormones were a bitch. "Brown? No way. I hope she get's yours. It's so rare and pretty. Shit…I hate fucking crying like this!"

He chuckled and kissed the top of her head as she handed his tiny baby to him so she could blow her nose. Again.

"Shit. She's damn gorgeous Buttercup. We did good."

"I know right? I think I might be biased a little but…shit. We made one cute little kid."

"I'm gonna have to beat the boys off her in droves. I can just feel it."

"Mavis. Men are so dumb."

"You love it."

"I do Cobra. I love you."

A knock lifted them from their little world, and watched as a nurse popped her head in with a clipboard and some paperwork. Her name was Nurse Nancy and she was the most chipper person they had ever met, and they were with Mirajane and her sister like…eighty percent of the time they were awake. "So? Have you two chosen a name yet?"

Lucy slumped down into the bed and pouted, exhausted and tired, she looked like she didn't give a crap about the name. But, after seven hours of labour total, Cobra had had a lot of time to think. "Buttercup…what about Bella Daphne Ophis?"

Lucy looked so relieved to finally have that problem settled, her smile blinding, and she started to cry yet again. "It's perfect."

"Just like her."

"You are such a fucking sap Cobra."

"I know. Just for her though. And you I guess."

Lucy nodded off not too long later and Cobra took his new baby daughter out into the next room for the first time to show her off to her massive extended family. Laxus would forever say he didn't weep like a bitch, but he totally did, while Natsu had no qualms about admitting that he bawled for at least a quarter of an hour.

Half a year later, after hearing her husband call their daughter 'Little Blossom' – even though it was adorable as fuck – Lucy would look up the meanings to Bella's names.

Turns out that little shit had let her name her baby after two insanely poisonous plants. But after she thought about it, that was okay. Because the name was beautiful and no one would really know except for them. It was just something else to be thankful for.

And if Bella ever questioned it, she was going to throw her husband under the bus and blame it on him without any remorse, but she had a feeling that this little girl would take after her and love her father and everything about him, poison and all.

* * *

 **WOOOhhh...this one ran away on me a bit. Oh well...there's nothing wrong with a little CoLu fluff right?**

 **Tomorrow: Pool**

 **Stay Crazy,**

 **LoadedEel**


	3. Pool

All Rights to Hiro Mashima

Cannon universe, set after Alvarez. :3 This prompt kicked me in the cunt for a bit. But I found my groove. Love you all.

 **This chapter is rated M for the good stuff! YAY!**

BEWARE THE WATER GODDESS! ALSO SMUT!

* * *

 **~ Day 2: Pool ~**

 _In which Lucy sways Cobra with a single thought. Like the boss ass bitch she really is._

* * *

"No."

"Please?"

"…no."

"Pretty please with shaved Hemlock on the top?"

"Still no."

"Why not?"

"Gods Starshine…why do you wanna jump into the damn pool so bad for?"

"Come on Erik. It's fucking hot and like…the middle of June and no one will be there…it's two in the morning! _Please…?_ "

"I just wanna go to bed, we've been on that mission for _days_ with your team and I need to fucking sleep off that experience for at least a week."

"But I'm hot."

"Shit. Fuck yeah, you are, but I still don't give a damn. I need your bed, with you in it, like fucking _yesterday._ I wanna cuddle and hibernate until the New Year. You can just take a shower when we get to your apartment."

"But—"

"Nop—wait are you serious?"

"Mhmm."

"Fine. But only cause I love you."

"I know."

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

Lucy stripped off her bra and quirked her eyebrow playfully at her…Cobra. She still wasn't sure what they were, but they were something and they loved each other. She knew he hated feeling tied down, but she could deal with his shit until he figured it out. He countered with a devious smile that showed his fangs off while ripping his last shirt almost in half in his haste to get naked with her.

As soon as the thought of _skinny dipping_ had floated through her mind, she knew he couldn't resist it. He loved her with no clothes on, preferred it actually and liked to tell her as much constantly. The confidence in her self-image had sky rocketed recently, as well as her ego. But that was alright because she thought Cobra without a stitch of clothing on was absolutely delicious.

Caramel skin lightly dotted with scars from years of torture and abuse, more recent ones from their adventures and war. Messy auburn hair more brown than red – closer to maroon than he would ever admit – spiking up in gravity defying angles. His guild mark on his left pectoral, and that one golden hoop in his ear that made her want to trace it with the tip of her tongue making need burn under her skin like it always did.

He was familiar, she knew every plane of his strong legs, every dip of those abdominals that would make any sane person weep, every angle of his usually cold sharp eyes that warmed a little when she was around.

As he divested himself of his silk black boxers – which she would admit looked very good on him, but even better on the ground – she felt the heat start to spin out from her stomach to rest and tingle at her fingertips. She knew all of him, every single inch, his length with its gentle curve that seemed to hit that special spot inside her perfectly like he was just _made for her_. And perhaps he was, or perhaps she was just genuinely lucky with that sort of thing.

Erik knew that Lucy was his, completely, even if he had never officially said anything about it. They had kind of just…slid into it without conscious thought or discussion. One day at a time growing slightly closer until she suddenly realised – whilst he was stuffed between her legs, rocking deeply into her core with a sinfully pleasured look on his normally blank face – that she had found…someone that could make her feel complete.

She knew she was his mate, even if there was no mark on her collarbone. He couldn't fucking stand anyone else and had mostly tolerated her. So, she knew enough through her own studies and Levy's research that Cobra and she were two sides of the same coin. He had once told her that he was so attracted to her scent that it had terrified him into suggesting that she be sacrificed to the giant clock. No more Lucy equalled no more problems for him, plus the added bonus of creating chaos.

That stupid Dragon made absolutely no sense, but Lucy's life was definitely not normal since she joined Fairy Tail, so falling in love with the Slayer that had tried to off her and bring about the Real Nightmare? That shit didn't even keep her up at night. It was as easy as slipping on her favourite pair of boots, natural and she didn't have to think about it.

Now…telling all her other guild mates that she was romantically invested with said idiot that had made her a dying breed – magic wise – was going to be…interesting to say the least. Erik had told her that most had thought that what they had was a passing phase in her life. That they weren't more than fuck buddies because they showed almost no affection towards each other while around anyone else. They were private and because Lucy wasn't climbing him like a damn tree constantly – even though she wanted to dammit, the guy was sexy as all hell while being all broody in his usual corner – meant that they weren't having much more than casual sex.

And they all knew about the sex, it was hard not to when one's best friend was also a Slayer and very, _very_ loud with no filter and had asked in his outside voice about why she smelled like Cobra one day. Although, he and the other Slayers (including Sting and Rogue) seemed to be the only ones who realised that they were something more than casual. Erza had once given her a strong talking to about the dangers of friends with benefits – which was so surreal even to this day Lucy couldn't really believe that it had actually happened – but even weirder, Laxus had come to her side and defended her _and_ Cobra of all people.

"It's cause he knows you. And he knows me Starshine. He loves you like a brother and you know that." Cobra's voice was light as he gracefully dove into the deep end of the pool.

Lucy smiled wistfully at his words, pulling her thigh highs down and removing her underwear before following him in, but cannonballed close to his head so that she could drench him.

"Dammit, Starshine. This means war." She giggled and tried to dodge his own watery attack, but was too slow. She loved that his own teasing grin had lifted the corners of his lips before she countered with a swipe of her arm, to which he growled and lunged at her, his strong arms banding under her bare breasts before he launched himself into the pool to dunk them both.

That feeling of 'safe' and 'home' that came from him and being surrounded by him was welcomed by her because she would know his touch anywhere, just as she would know Natsu's or Gray's or Erza's because they were her family.

But it had taken a while before she had realised how much she cared for the man who was now wrapped around her, naked in a pool at two thirty in the morning. She felt it almost right away, but she hadn't acknowledged it. Not because it was so strange, but because it had felt so _right_ that she didn't even need to think about it to know that she had slid right into love with him without a second thought.

Over the last couple of years since Crime Sorciere had disbanded with a full pardon from the King of Fiore, they had all gone their separate ways. Sorano practically direct lined herself to Sabertooth to keep an eye on her sister, and Yukino was ecstatic. Sawyer was travelling with Richard, last she heard they had found Wally and were now in Bosco. Jellal, Meredy, and Midnight had ended up in Fairy Tail almost immediately with nowhere else to really go.

But Cobra had taken almost a full year to both come to terms with his freedom and decide what he wanted to do with it before he had stepped one foot in the doors of Lucy's guild, trailing behind her like a little lost duckling looking for its mother. Although, Makarov almost immediately asked if he wanted to join to which he almost immediately said yes.

The bright magenta stamp over his heart was proof of his conviction, and Lucy liked the look of that colour against his skin.

Lucy thought that maybe their unspoken bond had… _nudged_ him in the right direction towards her. Funnily enough, the same feeling had come over her and she had left on more and more missions that took her out farther and for longer periods of time – alone – in the big wide world. She had felt that she had finally grown up enough to not rely so much on Natsu, and wanted to experience everything for herself. Natsu, as was his want, kicked and screamed a bit, but ultimately agreed with her decision. For one, she was as stubborn as she was fierce, and two…she could handle herself. She wasn't really alone after all…she had her spirits with her always. Three days before she had left, he had confessed to her that he had known who his own mate was long before he had met her, but never had the courage to do anything about it. So she had kicked him in the head and told him that she wanted to see him with his very own mate, with that damn mating mark on their collar bone, when she came back.

(She was pleasantly surprised when he had listened to her, even though her brain had shorted out the minute she had seen him in the middle of what could only be described as rough sex with his rival. Lucy had learned to never, _ever_ walk into Natsu and Gray's home without knocking loudly because they amount they spent fucking was almost equal to the amount they still spent fighting. Which was ridiculous, but they were good together and good for each other and she was happy for them. Even if she needed brain bleach.)

She had run into Cobra in a small bar on the outskirts of Crocus after visiting with Hisui (to congratulate her on the coronation). They had drank – he had a screwdriver with bleach, while she had stuck to dry martinis – and sat side by side in quiet contemplation for most of the night, just easing into something other than enemies and tentative allies.

She had asked simply "What are you doing with your freedom?" and he had answered "Waiting." So Lucy told him to stop waiting for something to happen and come back to Fairy Tail with her. He had sighed and mulled it over for all of five minutes before acquiescing with a nod, some of his family was there anyways and he didn't have anywhere else to go.

Lucy and he had traveled back to the guild hall on foot, which had taken two and a half months, but by the time they were stepping back into the borders of Magnolia late in the evening, there was an unspoken bond between them and a new understanding. Sure, Cobra was still a giant dick most of the time and she was so stubborn that he wanted to pull out his own hair, but together they were a good team.

He had taken her for the first time under the stars in a clearing that night, slow and burning until she was filled with white hot heat. He had told her to call him Erik because he trusted her, and he had started to call her Starshine – for the way she looked when using her magic. Once wasn't enough for her, so she had taken her fill of him again and again on the forest floor surrounded by nature until they were rutting like beasts in the dirt. It was animalistic and feral and Lucy had loved every moment, especially when he had growled her name into the back of her neck while taking her from behind when the sun was rising.

"Oi. Get outa your head, your soul is making my ears hurt. Why are you thinking about the past again?"

She was ripped out of her mind by the squeeze of his arms around her bare middle, Erik's words grating down her skin easily lifting goosebumps in their wake. Lucy had zoned out enough that she had forgotten when she was and who she was with.

She ducked her head down to hide her light blush. Which was stupid because they had been in more intimate situations before, but she couldn't help it. What she wanted to say was…incredibly hard for her to even voice because she didn't know what would happen once it was out in the open.

Lucy decided to rip the Band-Aid off and just get it over with, it had been sitting heavy on her heart and mind like a physical, tangible _thing_ for months now.

"Why haven't we mated yet?"

His answer was quick and pain filled as if he had been waiting for her to ask. "Because I hurt you so much in the past, I can't do it again."

"What—"

Cobra gently pushed her up against the side of the pool and kissed her softly. It was so heartbreakingly tender that tears started to well in her eyes. This wasn't how the night was supposed to go, but she had made her bed, so it was time to lie in it.

Perhaps she had been wrong this whole time…maybe she really wasn't his mat—

He growled loudly and flicked her in the forehead, stunning her for a moment. "Stop thinking that. You know you are, and I know you are as well. It's just…" His hands flailed about for a while before his mouth caught up with his brain again. "…I talked to that Stripcicle almost as soon as I got my stamp about the process because I don't trust books to be accurate. He told me what it felt like, melding their magic together. He told me he thought he was burning from the inside out and that he was about to die from the flames. And I wield poison Lucy. _Fucking poison._ I've already tried to obliterate you before I will never ever cause you pain again."

She glared at him hard and he flinched away from her. Lucy's heart clenched. He hadn't done that in a long time. "I don't give a damn about the past Erik. If I did, I would have never let you fuck me like you have, I would have never told you that I loved you. And you know it. Don't be so damn stubborn about this. You _knew_ that I wanted it. Knew it all along. I bet you could hear it since I had realised that it was possible, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"Then why—"

"BECAUSE I DON'T DESERVE YOU! I've always known that it, even when I wanted to deny it when I had first seen you. I will _not_ tie you down to a person who has tried to sacrifice you in the past. Who has tried to _kill you_."

"Don't you give me that bullshit excuse! I know you. Tell me the truth Cobra."

He flinched again at his old name passing through her lips, but it got the desired effect out of him. Instead of rage, he wilted into something small and childlike. "Because I'm scared, Lucy."

"Me too Erik. But I've had worse than a little pain, and we both know it. I'm not going to change my mind about this either."

"You know that if we did mate, that would be it for the both of us, is that really what you want?"

At first, Lucy wanted to scream at him for the dumb question, but she heard the undercurrents of doubt in his voice. _Are you sure it's me you what?_

She flung herself at him, crushing her breasts against his hard chest in the process, and proceeded to kiss him until he only knew her name. "Take me, Erik. I've been waiting long enough."

She wrapped her long legs around his torso and he stumbled up the stairs out of the pool, jolting pleasure skittering up her spin as the movement ground his arousal against the slick heat of her own.

He collapsed onto his knees onto the grass of the gardens beside the pool deck, wasting only a single moment to look her in the eyes, waiting for her to push him away or pull him closer.

"Make me yours, Cobra."

That name, that had once held so much fear, only lit him up with so much energy to take her as fast as possible, like the beast, the animal he kind of was. That was his old name, but he was still that person deep inside and it was the person that she had met for the first time and the man she had fallen for. The name didn't matter, but as she gasped as he plunged into her and snarled her name like a filthy prayer in her ear, she knew that the name was pushing him forward.

She held no fear for this man that was rutting himself so forcefully between her legs that she had no choice but to sob his name in painful pleasure, and she knew that he could hear everything her soul had to offer. Every feeling that was sliding over her mind and leaving her gasping for air but loving the fact that she couldn't breathe.

Her first orgasm ripped through her without preamble, just dropped her off the side of a cliff and left her reeling in a weightless space before she was ripped back to earth when her lover dragged his fangs down her neck, still rocking into her impossibly wet core. "Shit. Dammit, Lucy, you feel so good when you come."

His breathless words lit that fire in her belly once again and she met his thrust again with renewed energy. Pulling the lobe of his ear (complete with that sexy as sin earring that she loved) between her lips, she gave a long suck and sighed, the sound sending obvious shiver down his spine.

Lucy threw he head back after a particularly hard thrust and moaned his name so lewdly that she felt his rhythm falter until he was pounding into her with his hands gripping his waist harshly. She would have bruises in the morning, she had no doubt and that thought made her incredibly hotter.

He snarled again and kissed her, even though it was more tongue and teeth and so sloppy and wet that it shouldn't even be called that.

She knew his weaknesses and spurned him foreword by dragging her nails up his back, and then she saw it, that look in his eyes that signalled his end was close, as was her second. There was no doubt in her mind, only love and lust and want and need for this man and the life they would have and the future that they would live.

As the fire of her release shot down to her toes, Lucy let out a single wordless scream that choked off into a pained whine as tears streamed down her face.

She couldn't feel where Cobra's fangs were latched over the thin skin of her collarbone, couldn't feel the warmth of his release, couldn't see how rapturous his face looked, couldn't hear his own grown as he spent himself into her core.

All she could feel was a burn that zipped up and down her veins. She couldn't quench it and it only got hotter and more painful, as if her skin was peeling back from burns, her bones blackening under the heat, the worst of it was centred on where his teeth were attached to her.

With every pump of his magic, she burned up from the inside out. But she never said a single word because she had wanted this, and if this pain was the price she paid to be linked to Erik for the rest of her life, she would take it. She could take everything, and more for this man.

Minutes or an eternity later, a cooling wash of relief stole over her body. Her bones knitted back together, her skin healed and unblemished. All that was left was a large bruise on her chest complete with a bite mark of her own.

"You okay?"

She sniffled and giggled wetly. It was such an Erik thing to ask after all that. "Yeah. It hurt like a fucking bitch though. I bet Gray cried like a little bitch when it happened to him."

He laughed freely, the sound soothing the last of the hurt in her limbs. It wasn't often he laughed and her pride soared at the fact that she could rip it out of him when he least expected it. "God I love you."

"I love you too Erik."

Her eyes caught his own while she traced the mark that he had left on her skin. "I'm happy."

"Me too Starshine."

No more words were needed that night, so they cleaned up as best they could, dressed and left for Lucy's apartment to fall into bed, only waking to hunger pains the next day at dinner time.

As she walked through the doors of her beloved guild with Erik's arm over her shoulder and a deviously bright grin on her face at all the looks of bewilderment on everyone's faces, she knew that there would be many explanations in her future.

But, as she eyed Erza's direct route towards her, preparing for the pain in her head where it would inevitably hit her friend's chest plate, and then to Mira's not-so-subtle looks of interest, to Natsu's excitement as he saw her mark, it was all worth it if Cobra was by her side.

His hand tightened around her shoulders and he placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. "You're worth it too, Starshine."

That was enough for her to be deliriously happy for years to come.

* * *

 **Tomorrow: Endearment**

 **:3 Stay Crazy,**

 **LoadedEel**


	4. Endearment

All Rights to Hiro Mashima

 **Look at that. Double update cause why not. :3**

 **Canonverse, no particular time. Assume after Alvarez.**

BEWARE THE SHIFTY SNEAKY SHE-DEMON!

* * *

 **~ Day 3: Endearment ~**

 _In which Mira had a brilliant brainwave._

* * *

She wiped her sparkling bar counter down once again for good measure and squinted her eyes at the most perplexing mage she had ever met. Mira was determined to figure out what made this guy tick if it was the last thing she was going to do. She swore quietly when she realised that she had no more dishes to wipe down – her mind had been on autopilot for a while and when that happened she was even more efficient than usual – and cursed her luck that she had no reason to blatantly stare at the Dragon Slayer any longer.

Cobra, in all his snarky, annoying glory sat stoically as ever at the far end of her bar nursing a tumbler of bleach that she had handed to him almost an hour ago. He had left for a handful of minutes for a spritely brawl with Natsu and Elfman, but other than that…nothing.

It was as if he was waiting for something.

As if called down by the divine Gods themselves, _something_ just happened to walk through the doors of Fairy Tail.

Mira leant over the bar counter ever so slightly to look past the tables filled with her family when she noticed Cobra's shoulders loosen imperceptibly while he looked almost relaxed…blissful even, to see that Lucy, Wendy and Charles had returned from their job in the next town over.

 _Interesting_.

She waved at Lucy and beckoned her over to sit in her customary seat where the blonde would sip on a smoothie and regale Mira with all her tales. It was a time honoured tradition and this time it was even more important now that she saw how Cobra eyed her as she bounced over to them, her ever present sunny smile directed at them both. He wasn't necessarily checking her out lecherously, he was looking at every part of her, but it was as if he was making sure she was alright. Or perhaps for injuries.

 _Sweet of him._

Which made it even more suspicious. Because Cobra – to her knowledge – didn't give two shits about anyone other than himself.

Lucy swung her gaze towards him and smiled sweetly. "Hi, Erik."

He nodded back at her. "Starshine."

And that was it. That was the end of their interaction before Lucy had turned towards Mira's smoothie and launched into a tale full of waving arms and excited squeals over the job that had requested her specifically at the massive magical library. But Mira was only half listening while her mind was turning and mulling over a bunch of information that didn't quite fit, like a giant puzzle that all came from different boxes. It just didn't work.

Upon coming to the guild with the rest of Crime Sorciere and asking to join, Cobra had neither sequestered himself away nor reached out towards anyone that she had noticed. He had a nickname for everyone, the nicest of them being 'Peanut' for Wendy…which was super adorable anyway you looked at it, and 'Starshine' for Lucy…which was so beautiful Mira didn't know whether to melt into a puddle or fangirl. Either way…it seemed to be romantic, especially because she had wound up calling him Erik one day and didn't end up with a Poison Dragon Roar to the face.

But that was it. There wasn't anything else. For a moment a year ago, Mira had fantasized about them ending up together, but nothing ever came of it.

Nothing fit, those edge pieces refused to snap into place. There were still times that Cobra looked at Lucy in a way that made even her heart pound. It was a little sad, a little resigned, but mostly like Lucy hung the damn moon in the sky for him.

Suddenly, something clicked in her brain.

It was obvious. So damn obvious that she couldn't fucking believe that she hadn't seen it before.

"…you wouldn't believe it, Mira! The fiction section _alone_ was four stories high! I got a friggin lady-boner from just standing there! I _have_ to tell Levy about it…"

Mira nodded along, eyes sliding to the side when she heard the slightest chuckle from the usually grumpy Slayer. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Cobra flash a small smile – Gods above it wasn't a smirk, it was a goddamn smile – at Lucy who was still passionately going along about her time in the library.

A smile of her own, one very practised for her photo shoots, slid onto Mira's face. That was all the proof she needed.

Cobra had a little crush on their resident Celestial Mage.

Oh.

 _She could work with this._

Mira could see them now in her mind's eye…thanking her with a spa weekend for getting them together, or with a nice bottle of wine and some of Lucy's delicious devil's food cake she had perfected over the years. These two idiots in front of her deserved some happiness even if she had to shove it down their throats.

She gave a little wave as Lucy bounded off to Natsu and Happy at the table they were at and fell into an easy conversation about their next job together. A year ago, Mira would have been worried that Natsu might stake a claim on Lucy, but he had come out with Gray and been married – that still seemed a bit surreal to everyone to this day – for seven long months. Those two boys were weirdly good together even if they all knew that their fighting was now some sort of strange foreplay.

Lucy had never had any long term boyfriends – she told Mira everything, and what she didn't tell her, she told Cana…her girlfriend had an uncanny ability to get even the hardest secrets out of anyone – nor had Cobra expressed any interest in a single woman (or man) since he had walked through those guild doors.

Mira clapped her hands together with barely held-in glee. Those two would be together by the end of the day if she had anything to say about it and she _knew_ that they would be so thankful that Lucy would name her Godmother and Maid of Honour.

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

At her own table, a thrill zipped down Lucy's spine. She felt as if someone was watching her. She looked around in front of her. Just Happy zonked out in a fish coma, Natsu devouring his customary million plate dinner, and a handful of her other guild mates.

"Natsu…is someone looking at me?"

Her best friend looked over her shoulder towards the bar, swallowing what looked like a complete chicken whole, while the damn thing was still on fire. "Yeah. What did you do to Mira this time?"

"Shit. Nothing. Is she smiling?"

"Yep."

"Like the devil incarnate?"

He nodded and shivered. "It's fucking creepy. Gives me the chills. She was like that every time she tried to set me up with Lis no matter how many times I told her I was super-ultra-mega-gay. You would think that she would take the hint when I yelled that I liked taking it up the ass, but she just thought I didn't know what that meant." Natsu rolled his eyes.

"Crap. I wonder who she's going to try to get me with this time." She groaned and let her head thunk down onto the wooden table top.

"Well…if you weren't hiding…then she would get off your back."

"I know…it's just—"

"Oh. Don't worry. I gotcha back in this one. You were there for me about that Popsicle…and I'll always return the favour. I haven't even told Happy."

Lucy smiled, thankful for a friend like Natsu, and that the guild's foremost gossiper (see: blue furred Neko for more information) didn't have any information on her. He was surprisingly devious and was very shrewd with his black mail, although all he really wanted was fish.

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

Cobra was a bit…stressed.

And it was all the She-Devil's fault. Honestly, the smile she was sending his way was so fucking sadistic that it was making _him_ , the master of all things mostly evil-ish, entirely too apprehensive a little sweaty.

And the worst part?

He couldn't fucking hear what she was thinking about from her soul. Contrary to what most people thought, it wasn't like reading minds. It was more like impressions and songs, snippets of conversations and feelings and emotions, sometimes colours that bled together. And it depended on the person as well. Natsu's was straightforward because he only thought about a couple things at once and when he was, he was generally focused entirely on his actions.

Which sucked because you wouldn't believe how much that fucker thought about the Snow Cone stark naked. Luckily, Gray walked around mostly naked constantly so it wasn't anything entirely new until the Flame Fart decided to switch it up and reminisce over the sex they had that morning.

Gross.

Like Mira, he couldn't hear much but overlapping conversations, sights, impressions and songs from those mages that had multiple forms. Lisanna's sounded like a petting zoo. Mira's like absolute Hell as her Demons literally vied for dominance, Elfman's like a stampede. Bickslow's was just…scary (most people didn't know that with his magic he could telepathically contact the dead and saw ghosts _everywhere_ ) and the worst was Starshines. With so many conduits to the life forces of other sentient beings strapped to her side on a daily basis, her soul amplified everything they were thinking and hearing and feeling as well. It was like her soul was a storm without a single eye, there wasn't a calm part in it. It was lucky though, that as soon as she was more than an inch away from those keys of hers, the cacophony stopped completely and her soul was a soothing, white noise hum with a haunted lilt to it. Like a slightly off key music box.

He absolutely loved to listen to it, it lulled him to sleep more than once and he had once blurted that fact out to her. She had laughed and told him that it was cute. So he didn't mind one bit.

But, back to the She-Demon. He had no clue what she was up to, but he had a sinking feeling that something was about to happen and it would change his little arrangement. All the Slayers knew, because how could they not? But they all had an understanding with each other to not step on anyone's toes. He knew before anyone about Laxus' claim on Lisanna, or Natsu finally getting together with Gray. It was inevitable, but not blurting it out to the world was just common sense and good manners. Something that he was surprised Natsu and Gajeel had if he was being honest.

He took another surreptitious look at Mira and almost jolted out of his chair when he realised that she was almost six inches from his face, leaning over the gleaming bar counter. Goddamn it…he needed to restart his heart real quick. It wasn't often when someone could get the drop on him like that.

"Cobra…can I ask you something?"

He drained the rest of the glass of bleach he had been nursing for the last hour….

"Are you gay?"

…and promptly spit it out all over the She-Devil's nicely cleaned bar.

He hacked and coughed as she promptly ran a cloth over the mess. "What?"

"Do you like men? Because I haven't seen you interested in any of the woman in the guild since you came here…"

"No. I'm not gay. I just have a specific…" He waved his hands around, floundering for an answer that would hopefully get her off his back. "…type?"

She grinned and all he could think was _shitshitshit_ _wrong answer_. "What type is that?"

"Uhmmm…" why was he still talking to her? Why hadn't he walked away yet?

Because he was entirely terrified of Halphas and knew that she would bring that idiot out when he turned to flee— _walk briskly away_.

And then she drove her point home, suddenly coming out of left field with a suggestion that had him reeling against his better judgement. "What do you think about Lucy then? Is she your type?"

 _Yesyesfuckinghellyeah_ his heart stuttered out. But what came out of his mouth was more along the lines of "Sure?" He wanted to knock himself out against this stupidly gleaming bar to get away from this conversation.

"Oh good. You should ask her out you know…before someone else snaps her up. She's quite the catch don't you think? It's almost surprising that she's still single actually." Her words were contemplative and light as if she was merely passing along information. But Cobra knew better. He had been warned, almost immediately after joining this crazy ass guild by Peanut of all people that Mira was never as she seemed.

He wanted to growl at the thought of Starshine in the arms of one of the buffoons here in this guild. Everyone had been pairing up as of late and it seemed that Mira was getting impatient to shove Lucy at some poor sap. Or perhaps shove some poor sap at Lucy and knowing her incredible luck ( _much sarcasm_ ) he would land face first in her ample cleavage. Then he would _have_ to poison them, obviously.

But he kept his cool, face blank as ever. "A wonder isn't it?" His eyes flashed over to where she was speaking earnestly with Natsu, her shoulders tight and anxious. Obvious the Flamebrain was updating her.

"So are you going to?"

"Going to what?" His eyes snapped back to Mira's hopeful face.

"Ask out Lucy. I know you have a crush on her, and before you deny that, I saw you _smile at her_."

Well…shit. This woman was good. She was also way more observant than he realised.

"I don't have a crush on her." Which was the truth.

"Don't lie, I saw your reaction when she walked in earlier."

"I'm not lying." He really wasn't, because he hated liars so he would never turn into one.

She quirked her eyebrow. "So why is it that she can call you by your given name and not Cobra like Kinana?"

"She earned it."

"How?"

He smirked down at his empty glass. "Secret." In truth, she didn't need to earn it specifically. It was more along the lines of she had earned his trust.

"Fine. Don't tell me. How about the name you call her? That little term of endearment…Starshine? It's adorable and you know it." Mira glowed as if she had just called out checkmate in a game of chess.

Suddenly, so tired and done with everything he finally fucking snapped, his control absolutely withering. "You know what? FINE! Have you ever seen her use her magic? It's fucking beautiful, and sparkly and shiny like the stars. And I don't have a damn crush on her because I fucking love the shit out of her and she can call me Erik all she wants BECAUSE SHE IS MY GODDAMN GIRLFRIEND!"

At the end of his tirade he was panting, eyes wild while watching Mira as her brain fuzzed out and tried to reboot but was unable to.

So he decided to throw all his cards on the table. Cobra stalked over to the table where Lucy still sat looking at him with glittering eyes full deviousness while they ignored the gawking guild mates and stunned silence that pervaded the beer hall. (His little blow up _had_ been a little loud.)

He pulled his wonderful, beautiful, fucking kick-ass girlfriend into a fierce kiss and she all but melted into the floor.

Natsu whooped with joy while a muffled thump signalled that Mira had finally fainted from an overloaded system.

Lucy smiled up at him. "Finally. It was getting a little hard to hide lately."

He grinned deviously and kissed her hair. "You betcha Starshine." It was going to be even harder to hide once her little bump started to show in a month's time.

A shadow fell over them as their friends and family started to congratulate them and before long Mira had regained her senses and came forward to talk to them both.

"Are you actually together?"

"…Yes?" Lucy smiled wide, happy to actually say it out loud. They had a running bet with each other (and subsequently with the other Slayers as well) to hide their relationship for as long as possible to see when someone would figure it out. Lucy had thought that Levy would have noticed first, and Cobra thought it was Kinana, but they should have known it would be the She-Devil.

"How long?"

"…Over a year." It was about a year and four months. But who was really counting?

Apparently Mira. "How could you not tell me?"

"It was nothing against anyone Mira, it was just…you know how the guild is, nosy little bastards, and we wanted it to be private for a little while and then it was…kinda fun to sneak around and then we had a bet about who would figure it out first."

"Oh. Well…I guess that's alright then. You two are sweet together and your kids are going to be adorable, I can just feel it."

In the most deadpan voice he had ever used, Cobra decided to drop another bomb on all their unsuspecting friends. "Well…that's good. Cause she's pregnant."

Mira fainted dead away to the ground for the second time today, hearts in her eyes and dreams full of little Slayer babies with golden hair and devious smiles.

* * *

 **Couldn't fucking help myself with this one. Love me some devious, oblivious Mira. If no one noticed I super love Natsu and Gray together.**

 **Tomorrow: Hollow**

 **Stay crazy my precious cupcakes,**

 **LoadedEel**


	5. Hollow

All Rights to Hiro Mashima

 **Canonverse with an obvious twist. Starts the night the Dragon's come through the gate. I have no idea where this came from. Haalp.**

BEWARE A LITTLE ANGST! THIS IS SO FAR OUTSIDE MY WHEELHOUSE I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE!

* * *

 **~ Day 4: Hollow ~**

 _In which her soul plays like a broken music box inside her empty chest._

* * *

He could hear it again.

That little warbling tune that was just slightly off key. It played to him off and on through some of the more lonely nights he slept through, making the silence just a little bit better.

How long hand it been now?

Seven—no…eight months he had been without the sound of another living soul. This prison blocked out every single sound around him, so he was left with only his thoughts.

And he hated his thoughts. He hated himself sometimes, but other times, he loved what he had become. Loved the chaos he had brought on the world. But…most of the time he despised the hand he had in Midnight's plans, despised that he had been so weak as to be under the thumb of Brain for so long, _hated_ that he had been a slave, hated the lacrima in his chest.

His thoughts…just like his magic, were a poison to him, slowly eating away his own mind until all that was left was the bare truth. It stripped Cobra away and all that remained was a tiny boy from a small fishing village in Caelum, stolen from his home and watched his parents defiled then murdered.

There was only Erik left after that. Most times he hated Erik.

But sometimes he wished that the boy had been able to live a normal life, lived in that village and grown up with his parents, played with other children, had been happy and carefree. Gone to school, fallen in love, had his heart broken…

Life was cruel and unfair, and it was, to him at least.

He cocked his head to the side. There it was again. The sound. That lovely haunting melody that he had heard since he was a little boy in that tall tower all alone in the dark. Since he had been a slave, then a seal, then a prisoner. Cobra had worn many hats over the years, all of them wicked.

Cobra had also lost more than most people in life, so…his actions were a direct retribution, a way to _balance out_ the cosmic fuck-up that was his entire existence. If life shit on him, then he would turn around and make other's lives miserable so they knew what it was like to feel his pain.

His mother and father…taken. His childhood…gone before it began. His freedom…locked away. His heart…withered and blackened like his soul. His only friend…lost. His eye…sacrificed.

But one thing that always remained with him, all through his life – except for an inexplicable period of seven years where it disappeared – was that song. It took him through the Tower of Heaven and gave him the courage to live another day when all he wanted to do was die on the filthy ground. It kept him sane when he was locked up and he couldn't hear anything else but his guards – on the rare occasion – and his own thoughts. It wound through his dreams and his musings until it became the music that his soul knew instinctively that whatever was making it was a safe place, somewhere like home.

Sometimes it would play for hours, other times only minutes. On two separate occasions, it wove through his mind for weeks on end then stopped abruptly for months.

Once…when the Neo Oracion Seis had risen, it had gotten louder and bolder. But he didn't know what that meant until it was too late to ask questions and investigate. They had been beaten into the ground by their enemies and left for the Rune Knights, shuttled off to prison again and here he was.

Surrounded by silence.

And that one song.

It didn't make him feel insane – most would think it would…a song repeating over and over with no end or beginning - even though he knew he _was_ kinda insane. In fact, it kept his mind clear and sharp, focused and alive. When he dove into his memories that tune would pull him out and set him straight over and over again before he was lost to his past before the darkness consumed him again.

Before the chaos came.

His cell door swung open suddenly, and he blinked one eye at the abrupt slice of light that pierced the black.

Cobra smirked, the intrusion was welcome…at least his boredom would be relieved. He would recognize that man anywhere.

It was Doranbolt.

And he only came when he wanted to vent, or about answers – which Cobra didn't give, or didn't have, or didn't care about – or the most unlikely…when he needed something.

"You're needed in Crocus, Cobra. If you help us now…five years will be taken off your sentence."

Cobra sighed as if he was thinking over his answer when in truth he already knew without a doubt that he would go no matter what it was. If he went outside, he had a chance that they would remove these cursed shackles that blocked his abilities. "Fine. Whatever. It's not like I had other plans anyways."

He was given his old clothes again – damn he had missed that white coat of his – by a very anxious Doranbolt, his shackles were removed, and then immediately Direct Lined to the outside of Crocus where Lahar was waiting.

Sensations and sounds and _singing souls_ bombarded Cobra from all sides in an instant. It was painful, but he welcomed it because he had missed it like he was missing a limb. It was a part of him and he had been…incomplete without it.

"Why the fuck are there seven Dragons running around?"

"The Princess…made an interesting judgement call. Turned out she was being duped by a version of Rogue that had travelled back in time from a future ravaged by these Dragons. Those gigantic doors over there? Built by Zeref and against at least a dozen laws and also indestructible. It took an incredible amount of Celestial power to even close the gate once it had been opened. Lucy Heartfilia and Yukino Aguria will be thanked profusely after all this is said and done." Lahar was succinct and to the point, one of the only things that Cobra liked about him.

The Slayer looked on as magic burst out through the streets as he absorbed that information.

 _So…she's still alive then. The one we tried to sacrifice…tougher than she looks._

They could hear yelling above them as Natsu's voice rang clear across the battlefield as he fought on the back of a gigantic female Dragon. "I can hear souls and even this is fucking confusing."

Doranbolt crouched down. "I'll make it simple then. There are seven Dragons, but only six Slayers in the legal guild system. You were requested and frankly, we're up shit creek without a paddle if you turn us down."

He was about to turn around and tell them to take him back to his cell where it was calm and safe and there was no chance of dying at that tender age of twenty-five. But then two things…or perhaps it was more accurate to say two sounds happened at once.

The first was Cubellios. He could hear her soul again and that brought him more joy than he thought he could have ever known. She was alive and safe – for how much longer was a bit of a mystery because…Dragons – and hopefully she was happy. Maybe he could see her again?

And then the second thing…that off-key tinkling of keys, that sultry crooning that washed through him so often he hardly noticed it anymore, blasted through his mind far louder than anything else at the moment. Louder than the Dragons roaring. Louder than Natsu's fighting. Louder than the destruction of the city of Crocus.

It could only mean one thing.

The person who held that soul within their body was here. _Here._ Fighting these godforsaken Dragons without a fucking clue that he had been hearing the melody of their life since before he could remember.

He wanted answers, he wanted to know who it was. He wanted to see them, speak to them. He wanted to find out why they were so damn special that they could make him feel the way he did when he was Erik and living in Caelum before all this shit happened. When he was happy and safe and loved and warm.

He _needed_ answers.

"Ten years off."

"Seven." Doranbolt countered easily.

"Eight."

"Deal." Doranbolt stood and shook his hand before Lahar could even comprehend what had happened. Cobra was alright with that. It meant he didn't have to make nice with the captain and could be on his merry way, off to his doom to fight a fucking gigantic Dragon that would probably squash him flat in an instant.

 _Oh well…beats sitting in silence._

He now had eight years off a twenty-year sentence. He could do twelve years in the dark, in the silence. Cobra would have his little broken music box and he would be able to keep his sanity and he would be fine because now he would also have answers to think about.

Unfortunately for him, his night didn't go exactly as planned. The Dragon he was fighting was a tough mother fucker and he did shit all to it. Blow to his pride as the Poison Dragon Slayer notwithstanding, he did eventually run into Cubellios or the woman who his beloved friend had turned into. She was beautiful, but her mind didn't know him like she used to.

Kinana, who used to Cu, had lost her memories of him, of the Tower, of the Seis. For that, he was unexpectedly grateful for. She had a chance to lead a normal life, one filled with happiness and away from him. The man that only brought pain and suffering and nightmares. The man who didn't smile because he didn't know how, because he was taught early on life was shit so there wasn't any use in showing happiness. It was more likely to be taken away if you did.

All that was left, when Lahar and Doranbolt came for him to take him peaceably back to prison (honestly, where else would he go?) was the Guild Fairy Tail silently standing among the destruction remembering a peculiar sensation of living over a single minute of their lives.

His eyes suddenly met liquid brown and almost started knowing that he was staring into the eyes of the woman he had used as nightmare fuel. She looked as haunted as he felt about the revelations that most of the people she had known had died or witnessed death before the time magic had given them another chance.

He had two memories of that time. In one his torso had been crushed to the ground and he knew he was dying, his internal organs liquefying almost immediately, and the memory – that actually happened – of dodging that attack and countering flawlessly.

It was startling, but he was thankful that he lived to fight another day.

She blinked and he nodded. That was as good as it got today. He couldn't reach her to give her a proper apology, and even then, he didn't know if he truly regretted it yet, or if it was just something that he _thought_ he should be sorry for. Which was ridiculous, because he knew he _should be so fucking sorry_ but he wasn't.

Not really.

He had given up everything, ready for the world to dissolve into nothing but confusion, but had been thwarted. If anything…he was thankful. Not even the song gave him peace then, his mind so full of pain and suffering and blackness and ideas of death and destruction. His hands so ready to claw and maim and rip, his poison on the tip of his tongue just waiting to melt flesh from bones, to kill, to destroy.

But he hadn't been given the chance. Titania had put him in his place, embarrassingly easily – she was still a little sore over that pesky poisoning issue when Brain had wanted to resurrect Nirvana – and the time before that, the Flame Freak had screamed him into submission. He learned then that his greatest strength was also one of his greatest weaknesses.

Lucy's eyes crinkled when she smiled sadly at him and nodded back, the motion quick and jerky. And that was it, he felt mildly better like there was a bit of a weight off his shoulders.

He turned towards the Rune Knights who would escort him back to his cell.

The only good thing about this situation as the guild of his enemies turned comrades in arms – they all were extremely naive giving him a second chance – watched him being cuffed once again and led off to the prison below ERA where nothing waited for him, was that he knew the soul singing was from one of them. It made sense, and it had to be one of the core members. That seven-year gap made so much sense now…they had been in a time lock, in suspended animation for a full seven years before they were brought back when the magic broke.

He was closer to his answers and that was enough for now.

That and the fact that right before Lahar had clamped down those magic cancelling restraints, he had heard the stirrings of a war in the future. The last of the Balam alliance was rising.

He smirked, quietly contemplating whether or not to tell someone that Tartaros was coming for them all.

 _Should be interesting._

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

Five days after the attack and destruction of ERA headquarters, Cobra admitted – grudgingly of course – that he may have made a poor judgement call. Perhaps he should have told someone that Tartaros was planning an all-out assault.

In his defence…he didn't know that the first place they would destroy was the building that sat directly on top – and then would subsequently collapse _into_ – the prison where he was housed.

He hadn't heard from another living soul in all that time, not since those explosions – fucking Christ Jackal was such a damn show-off – had rocked the foundations and rained down sheetrock, dust, support beams, and blood. So much blood.

Luckily for him, his body converted the carbon dioxide in the air into food for his body keeping him alive, but he desperately needed water.

 _Is this it? Is this the way I die? Down here in a hole in the ground?_

It was extremely anticlimactic, and he was so thoroughly pissed at his circumstances that he missed the sad warble in the soul song that was like background noise to him now.

But then it fucking exploded, the haunting lilt turning terrifyingly dark. It was screaming at him and all he could do was moan in pain and clutch his head.

After minutes or hours or ten-thousand years had passed (how was he supposed to know? There wasn't any sun or way to tell time down here…) the song disappeared completely giving him – for the first time he had ever heard that melody – peace that was not brought by the sound of that tune.

"What the fuck?" His voice cracked through the silence of his cell when he noticed that his hands that had previously been covering his overly sensitive ears, came away wet.

 _Blood. He was bleeding._

"Son of a bitch." He growled to no one in particular.

The song came back hours later and never left him, but there was something off now. Notes were missing, the climax was wrong, pieces were mixed up or gone completely. It was almost unrecognizable, and this time…it made him think. Truly think about what he had been hearing for most of his life.

Someone's soul had just been royally fucked over.

But he had no more answers down here in the dark. So he shrugged and started to memorize this new song that was the same as the last one, but entirely different. It spun through his mind creating new feelings, ones that he hadn't felt in a long time. Not since Cobra had come and locked up Erik in a tiny box in the back of his soul.

Fear. _Blinding fear_. The song was…sick and grotesque. And he hated how much he fucking loved it. It was…invigorating to feel shivers crawl down his back. It meant that he was still alive, even though he knew he wasn't long for this world.

Perhaps he would see his parents in the next life.

Who was he kidding? He was bound for an eternity of punishment in purgatory. He was bound straight for hell and he had made his peace with that fact long ago.

He fell into a dreamless sleep to the sound of that wailing song in his mind. It was his own fucked up lullaby. Cobra was almost certain it was his own personal anthem to his death.

 _How morbid._

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

Perhaps two days had passed and the song hadn't left him alone and the sound of it had steadily increased into a crescendo in his mind. It was screaming again, but this time there was no pain, just strange waves of feelings that cascaded from his head to his toes.

Until it was so loud he just knew that whoever it was, the person who held that warped…disfigured soul in the centre of their chest was right outside the door to his cell.

The door swung open, light swept over him in a single beam from a lacrima powered flashlight before feet shuffled forward and two fingers tried to find a pulse.

He had no strength to move, not even to open his eye, but he did swallow thickly around the apparent desert that was held in his mouth and spoke. "I'm alive."

"Just barely." She whispered. The voice was so familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. He tried to listen harder, tried to remember what Fairy he had heard before that sounded just like that, but his mind was muffled and jumbled from the lack of energy in his body.

He was slipping, but before he left, he wanted to know the soul that had kept him alive and sane and brought him a modicum of peace.

With every last sliver of strength, he wrenched his eye open to only wish he had never opened it in the first place.

Cobra was wrong. He was so incredibly wrong. He hadn't truly been ready to know. How had he not known? How had he never made the connection? It made so much sense now that the truth was glaring at him like a fucking neon sign.

And he had tried to kill her.

Lucy Heartfilia, the golden girl he had pushed into a clock and laughed while she cried, the woman who impressed him with her sudden strength to reverse the Real Nightmare, held that off-kilter soul inside her.

"Here. Drink…slowly."

He hacked and coughed as he wet his throat for the first time in a week. Sometimes he magic was a curse. Cobra would have died much sooner if he hadn't been a Slayer from the lack of water. He groaned and fell back to the floor where he had been lying, unable to move again.

"No one's left. Everyone's either been evacuated or dead. The entire council is gone, Lahar was killed. Doranbolt is…inconsolable. The Seis have fled without you."

He snorted, but couldn't muster up the energy to do anything else. Her soul song spun a haunting tune that left his fingers tingling. "What happened to you?"

She didn't even attempt to lie to him, her eyes a dull brown and looked right through him. "Tartaros attacked. I made a choice, both options were…not ideal. I saved my friends and family. And they left me behind. Fairy Tail is gone."

"Pinky and the blue cat?"

Her face drew up into something that was probably supposed to be a smile, but it was chipped and cracked, broken before it was even formed. "Training. Left me in charge of something that was gone before they ran away."

Cobra nodded, a little of his strength returning from the water. She tipped the flask again and he drank deeply. "So…I left Magnolia and came here. Something pulled me to this place and I'm glad it did because you would have died if left any longer."

"I know."

With a flick of her wrist, she conjured a massive bull to her side without a word. He bent down and slung Cobra over his shoulder and they walked away from that prison, from that cell without a backwards glance.

It wasn't until he was lying in a sleeping bag – full satiated with incredibly potent poisons from the Celestial realm – that Lucy spoke again from beside him.

"What now?"

He turned his head so he could see the top of her golden head in her own sleeping bag. "I find the Seis."

"Can I come with you?" She whispered into the dead of the night, her soul warbling with fear and anxiety and crippling doubts.

"Yes."

He fell asleep to her humming that off-key tune unconsciously to the stars.

Perhaps in a different world, in a different time, they would both know what it meant to be soul bonded, what it meant to hear the song of each other's souls. But they were in this one, were fairy tales weren't real, the bad guys won, lives were lost, and there wasn't such a thing as fate. They had somehow found each other despite it all, but they weren't destined for each other this time around, weren't destined to love and laugh and live.

Perhaps if Erik had never become Cobra.

Perhaps is Lucy had never run.

But they were who they were this time. He was a broken boy, filled with anger and pain and willing to just…lay down and waste away, while she was the hollow girl who had given everything and been gutted completely in return. His soul pulsed with fury while hers played a sorrow filled song in her empty chest.

* * *

 **That...was a little darker than I thought it was gonna go. No romance in that one... Don't worry, tomorrow's is super bright and fluffy and adorable.**

 **Tomorrow: Serpent**

 **Stay crazy,**

 **LoadedEel**


	6. Serpent

All Rights to Hiro Mashima

 **Canonverse. No time period. Fluff. :3**

BEWARE! I CAN'T STOP WRITING FLUFF FOR THESE TWO! HELP!

* * *

 **Day 5: Serpent**

 _In which Cobra sets off with the perfect plan in mind, then returns just so fucking done with everything._

* * *

It was perfect.

Well, it was perfect until it wasn't. But by then he couldn't back out of the mission without looking like a douchebag. A wimpy little pansy with no sense of Fairy Tail pride or whatever those morons had that he was still reluctant to name. He didn't even want to think about the fact that it was rubbing off on him, that was a problem for another time.

The mission was simple.

 _Retrieve a lost artifact._

 _Outskirts of Snowdrop._

 _Reward: 1 million Jewels and a silver Celestial key._

 _See Madame Silvestro for instructions._

Nothing he couldn't handle, so he took the paper, had the She-Devil stamp it and with a small smile on his usually grumpy face he had left that freaky guild where they gave everyone they met a second chance and welcomed their enemies with open arms. He had been…confused when they didn't outright attack Crime Sorciere and completely bewildered when he watched as Lucy gave Sorano a hug.

That was…slightly terrifying, but he got over it. All the Fairies just so much love and forgiveness in there big sappy hearts and it was a little disgusting, but hey. It kept him alive and intact, and able to watch the golden girl that captured his complete attention almost immediately after walking through those big wooden doors.

It was perfect, his plan. The silver key was supposed to be a peace offering to the woman who had completely eclipsed everything he had ever known and caused his mind to melt and his soul to fucking reach out and try to grab her own. She was like…his other half and he loved the way her soul sounded, how it mingled and sang in his presence.

But he knew exactly squat about relationships and women in general. Flings and fuck buddies and one-night stands he understood (from experience, of course, he still couldn't quite believe how many people were turned on by scars and his brooding personality), but the mushy feelings in his stupid blackened heart that he didn't even know could work properly anymore took him off guard and blindsided him in their intensity. He didn't even know how he could feel so much for a woman he couldn't even speak to without fear of making a complete and utter ass out of himself.

Therefore, _the plan_.

The perfect plan with the perfect easy mission with the perfect key as a reward which would work as the perfect icebreaker. He had watched her from afar, grinding his teeth in absolute misery as every one of his family started to mingle and chat and get to know Lucy and all he could do was listen to the sound of her soul and her voice as she spoke to _other people that weren't him._

Because he was a goddamn pussy and he knew it. A little baby snake that couldn't get up the courage to approach the woman that glowed brighter than the sun in his eyes. She was caring where he was ambivalent, she laughed where he scowled, she opened her arms where he shied away and hid. She was the light to his dark. He admired her and watched from behind a smoke screen of snark and bluster and poison barbed retorts. Because that was all he had. Inside he was just truly a little boy left alone in the dark of the Tower, just Erik.

So he hid behind Cobra and vowed never to come out.

But he wanted her to know him. All of him, Cobra _and Erik_ alike. But how could she do that when he kept her at arm's length? And what would she find if she did finally know him, all of him? How could he even speak to the one person he had actively tried to sacrifice to a gigantic clock to bring about the apocalypse filled with chaos and confusion because he was tired of the world?

But as time went on, and he observed her like the creeper he was from his dark corner of the guild hall, he noticed that she gave all of them the same smile that she gave her best friend, her team mates, her family.

And that burned him down to his core. He wanted to see that glowing smile turned towards him. He wanted to make her laugh and smile and giggle and shine so bright that his eyes would hurt but he wouldn't look away.

So that gave him the push to try and figure out how to break that shell of silence that he had with her. She seemed to respect his need, and other than familiar greetings and a quip back and forth here and there, she gave him his space. And he hated that distance with a passion.

The mission was a stroke of good luck and inspiration. How many times had he heard her soul sing when the mention of keys or her spirits came up? It was perfect and easy.

Until it wasn't.

The artifact was held within a maze, in the dark, in a damp cave that was filled with puddles, lichen, and mold.

Those weren't a problem for him. He grew up in the dark and it welcomed him back like an old friend. He felt comfortable in it even though he had witnessed and felt unspeakable things in the dark.

But caves held one thing he absolutely _hated_.

Bats.

Hundreds upon hundreds of bats that clung to the walls and the ceiling watching and waiting for him to make the first move.

He wasn't afraid of them either. More annoyed. They were blind – ironically like he was – and used echolocation to find their way around.

It was their screeches that he loathed with everything he had. It got into his head and echoed so loud that his ears started to bleed from the sound. Even if he covered his ears, or had ear plugs, he could still _hear them_.

He avoided caves like the plague (except for the fact that plagues actually gave him strength instead of killing him, seeing as it was usually a toxin or poison to most people, but not to him.)

He looked at their beady little eyes, just watching him, looking all smug upside down. So he shot them a one finger salute and scowled. "Fucking bats. Why did it have to be bats?" Then he really asked himself if it was worth it, to put himself through all that agony.

The answer was yes, it would always be yes. If it meant that Lucy smiled at him all teeth and sunshine and blazing glory. She was most definitely worth it and he was _just_ desperate enough to want to talk to her about something, anything, that he would do this.

But only if it was for her, even if she didn't know that.

It took him five and a half hours to search that underground maze, turning and twisting, dead ends and all for that stupid artifact. It took him much longer than he thought it was because he tried to make absolutely no sound.

No sound meant the bats stayed put sleeping in their little nooks and crannies and his ears were saved.

Finally, there it was, sitting on a pedestal like a freaking adventure movie in a small beam of sunlight, was the stupid artifact that had somehow gotten lost underground in a maze cave. The whole thing was preposterous and all he could do was roll his eyes at the ceiling because making scathing remarks and cursing his luck would have meant words and sound and the bats had left him alone for the most part. Nothing he couldn't handle.

Until he stumbled in his haste to get the little gold broach thing (was it shaped like a bird? Was that a peacock? Whatever…) and kicked a damn big rock into the wall of the cavern.

That was noise, and it echoed and he knew what was coming almost immediately after but all he could do was clamp his hands over his ears and curse. "Shit."

All the bats left in a screeching mass of flapping bodies, and even if they didn't venture down that far into the maze and stuck around the beginning of the cave and a few of the closest passages…every sound bounced and echoed and volleyed off the stone walls until it was a cacophony of the worst noise he had ever heard.

Thirty seconds in and his eyes rolled up into his head and he fainted dead away, thankful for the darkness that came rushing up to greet him. His old friend was back and he relished in the fact it was silent.

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

He woke up to a ringing in his ears and a massive migraine, his hands clenched around a single golden broach with a lump on his head where he hit the ground.

With a groan he lifted himself off the hard stone floor and decided to just get this over and done with, he needed to get back to the requesters house so he could get his reward, then onto a train to become mildly nauseous for three hours then back to Magnolia so that he could start something with Lucy.

At this point, he didn't even care if all she did was smile at him and never looked at him again, it would have been worth it because at least something happened and he was the cause of it.

It took him significantly less time to find his way back outside, and the ringing in his ears had finally stopped, but he had bled a little and the stickiness was just…disgusting against his over shirt and skin and hair.

He stripped and washed the blood off of himself and his clothes in the first stream he came across, laid for a good hour on a flat boulder in the sun completely naked to dry, then proceeded on his way back to the requesters little stone house to claim his prize.

The old wizened woman with a curious gleam in her eyes handed him a sack full of jewels in exchange for the stupid brooch thing (it had belonged to my late husband! He was a puzzle freak you know…as if that explained the underground cave maze) and laid a small flat box in one of his hands.

Cobra didn't even look at it, just gave a grunt and nodded, then left ready to just finish this day.

The train ride was uneventful – if roiling nausea for three hours could be classified as uneventful – and he made it back into Magnolia in the early evening when the day was just winding down into night. The stars were just peeking out from behind the clouds and there was a slight breeze washing away the stifling heat of the summer afternoon.

In his gloriously easy perfect plan, he was going to give the key to Lucy as nonchalantly as possible when it was just the two of them and act as if he didn't give a crap whether she liked it or not, even though her reactions were fascinating to him.

But not now.

He was done with this day.

He was done with the bats.

And the underground cave maze.

And the stomach knotting train ride.

And his frustration and need and annoyance that he couldn't spit out two words around Lucy because he was being a damn coward about it.

He was done with his heart being in a vice.

Cobra wanted Lucy to know, right here, right now, with every single fucking member of their stupidly proud guild watching them, that he wanted her. In every single way possible. And he didn't care that he would probably be pounded into the ground for even approaching her at all.

Because he was done.

He had bled out his ears today and he deemed it high time to get his shit together and show the girl that he was fucking interested in her and thought she was the most amazing thing since Mira had started to add shaved Hemlock to his favourite meals.

He slammed the heavy doors open with a barely concealed growl and only a few people looked his way – this was the customary greeting of tried and true Fairy Tail mages so it wasn't obvious he was pissed, the members of this guild lacked all subtlety and tact, and those doors took an absolute beating constantly – and fucking stalked, like a fucking lion or panther or _whatever_ over to where the woman who had captured his attention was sitting without a clue about how done he was with this day.

She didn't have a goddamn clue and so he wanted to give her one. A really obvious one.

(If he wasn't as pissed off, he would have been a little more wary about approaching the table that housed the only two people that had ever beat him in a fight (other than Jellal, but Cobra still thinks he cheated somehow) and instead waited for a more opportune moment. But he didn't, because he was just, so, done.)

He could feel the gazes of all the eyes of the people that were following his path towards the heavy hitters in their guild, worried for a bit that Cobra had lost it again and planned to do something untoward against their sweet little Celestial Mage.

Again.

 _"—has he lost his mind?"_

 _"—he should know better than to make Titania mad—"_

 _"—I'll bet anyone a hundred jewels that she'll use that hammer on him again…"_

He rolled his eye and snarled. So done, so incredibly, undeniably done with the gossipers and this day and the bats and _everything_ and fucking shit he didn't even give a damn if Titania ripped off his arms and beat him with them for even attempting what he was about to.

Cobra stalked past the tiny guild master who sat beside his hulking grandson, and the entire body of the guild breathed in once in tandem to see what Makarov would do to the clearly pissed off poisonous bastard slinking his way through the beer hall on a direct path towards the _one person they all loved without a single doubt_.

But no one moved as Makarov gave no intention of stopping his path and only gave the Poison Slayer a slight quirk of his brow in question. He was ignored as Cobra had only one person he wanted to speak to at the moment, and Makarov was not the blonde in question.

Finally reaching their table – the guild hall had gone silent again for the first time in months – Cobra slammed down the little box he had never looked inside of (belatedly realising that he should have probably verified that there was indeed a key inside it) and growled.

"I got this on the last mission I was on. I can't use it, but you can."

He looked down at her, seething a little at the stupid day he had just had, and watched her crack open the box. Her eyes blew wide with disbelief, then gratitude, then happiness.

Then she smiled.

She had fucking smiled at him and didn't that just make him feel like he was the fucking King of Fiore? It made this whole shit day he had worth it. Everything that had weighed heavily on his mind melted away and he mentally sighed in bliss as her soul trilled in elation.

"Cobra…you want me to have him? Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Do you know what this means to me?"

"Yes." He said, but then lowered his voice to a whisper for only her. "I can hear it."

And he could, her damn beautiful soul lit up like a firecracker and sang like a choir of angels. It was terrifyingly beautiful and he just wanted to keep listening to it, all day, and all night. Always.

"…Thank you."

He nodded and turned to walk away, but then decided, to hell with caution and threw everything out of his mind for once in his life and stopped over thinking things. He looked at her with his one eye and glared a little, daring her to say no. "We're going on a date tomorrow. Be ready."

She answered with a smirk that had his mind reeling, while his face stayed – thankfully – placid. "Pick me up at eight."

Her soul sang happily as he listened to Erza lean over and demand to know what was going on between them. To which he heard her state that whatever it was, it was only just beginning.

This time he truly walked away from her and his other guild mates who were left gawking in his wake while the boom of the double doors signalled his exit.

That night, after he had stopped to think about it, he was a bit frightened about how Titania might come after his ass, but he didn't truly care because Lucy had smiled that smile at him. For him.

 _Because of him._

Shit, he was a sappy little bitch, wasn't he?

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

The next night, in a big open field covered in springy grass, Lucy told him that she had waited to make a contract with her new spirit because she wanted him to be there. He had told her that he didn't actually know what key he had given her, which prompted a telling of his day that left her giggling at his misfortune.

He flicked her in the forehead when she laughed at how he hated bats, and she pouted and it was the most adorable thing he had ever seen. All Cobra wanted to kiss her and hold her and stroke her hair and damn he was probably in love. Holy mother of Mavis when had that happened?

 _Oh well._

Wasn't much he could do about it and that little ball of happiness in his own soul felt too good to be afraid of it.

"So you really don't know the key you gave me? The new friend I'm about to make?"

"Didn't even look into the box."

"That was dumb."

He shrugged then. "I trusted the old lady…to a point. But I just wanted to get back to the guild." _To you_. Cobra didn't say that out loud, but damn did he ever want to, he really wanted to see the look on her face.

"Then, I think this was either fate or just dumb luck. Or just some weird irony. Something like that…"

"What is?"

She spun around in place and cocked a hip out in a way that showed she meant absolute business and _ohfuckinghell_ he was screwed cause he found her no nonsense tone and the way she held her body incredibly enticing. He was terminally in love with just…everything she was. "Just watch."

And he did watch, as Lucy called the Great Serpent, Serpens from beyond the Celestial Gates and beckoned him to her side. Cobra decided that he liked this spirit very much, and the spirit had, in turn, liked him, which Lucy was very happy about. Serpens reminded him a little of Cubellios but was a bright acidic green that he thought looked entirely perfect for a snake.

She then taught him about the stars while they laid out under the turning sky on that field, Serpens coiled in their lap like a scaly puppy. He did listen to her words and her voice, but he mostly listened to her soul, that was humming along with his.

It was more than he could have hoped for, and when he told her that he would listen to bats for the rest of his life if she kept smiling like that at him – he had turned into a gigantic fucking sap somewhere along the way and he didn't even give two shits about it – she gave him another smile and kissed him soundly.

He told her to call him Erik, so she did in between breathless kisses and small giggles. Then when the night started to turn into dawn and Serpens had finally poofed back to wherever he had come from, he had carried her sleeping form back into her house – she should really learn to lock that window – placed her keys down on her bedside table and flopped on her couch asleep before he knew it.

When he woke to the sight and smell of the blonde cooking breakfast and humming a tune that sounded suspiciously like her own soulful song, he mentally thanked all that was holy for this chance that he had, bats and all, to start something with this woman that smiled at him with the sun in her eyes.

* * *

 **Tomorrow: Invitation**

 **Stay crazy,**

 **LoadedEel**


	7. Invitation

All Rights to Hiro Mashima

 **WOOOO this one kicked my ass all over the place…then my roommate came home from Shambala and brought back the freakin' plague with him. I've been laid up for fucking** ** _days_** **. Remember children…wash your hands and such. (Germs are everywhere, and they're watching you…)**

BEWARE THE CLICHES!

* * *

 **~ Day 6: Invitation ~**

 _In which Lucy feels like a giant cliché while simultaneously pops a huge lady boner for that man with caramel skin._

* * *

Lucy woke up to the feeling of being full.

And warm, and sticky, in a strange sort of way. And he skin was humming and a little painful but it felt nice so she didn't question it like she normally would have.

She kept her eyes closed and mentally checked over herself to see if she was dying or something. That would explain the raging headache that pounded through her skull to the beat of Erza's personal war drum.

Until she came to three conclusions.

One, she was entirely naked.

Two, there was another body tightly wrapped around hers.

And finally, for the grand finale, there was a mostly limp cock still stuffed into her incredibly sore vagina.

 _Oh._

 _Yes._

 _That's definitely a penis._

Holy mother of the Gods. It had finally happened to her. That cliché night of drunken sex between herself and another person. She wasn't really surprised with all the shit that was going on in her life, more like she was…resigned and glad that it was out of her system. She hadn't had sex since Sting…and that had been so long ago.

 _So damn long._

And if the satiated melty bliss that radiated from her bones and her skin and her _everything_ was anything to go by, this one night had been so much better than anything her ex-boyfriend could have ever given her.

 _Time to get this over with._

Lucy cracked one eye open and turned her head as far it would go to see just who was behind her and was bewildered to see the one-eyed maroon haired man that she had been inexplicably attracted to for days now, snoring peacefully and without a single care in the world into her rat's nest of a hair-do.

Holy.

 _Holy fucking hot damn._

She was…mildly proud of herself for this actually. In all the scenarios that had gone through her mind and quietly hoping that she hadn't accidentally hopped into bed with Max like Cana had done last year at Laxus' wedding, this was not what she thought was going to happen.

 _Score one for Lucy._ This man was the epitome of an absolute badass and was so darkly sexy to her that she was almost scared.

But damn, wasn't she just the biggest walking cliché to ever live. A bridesmaid (sort of), hooking up with a groomsman at a wedding. If she wasn't so hung over, she would be laughing at herself. She cringed at that thought and wiggled around to get more comfortable.

Or maybe to try half-heartedly to get out of the grip of this devilishly handsome man cause she was aroused now (how could she _not be_?) and slightly nauseous. It was a weird feeling for sure.

Suddenly, his scarred hand brushed down to the apex of her thighs from where it had previously sat on her stomach and she sighed as his thumb caught her over sensitive clit. Suddenly her stomach was turning but for an entirely different reason.

"Stop squirming unless you want to go for round three."

 _Score two for Lucy._ She was most definitely proud that she had been with this man at least two times the night before. "And what if I do?" Lucy rocked her hips back as he nipped the shell of her ear.

"Don't tease me Starshine." The nickname sent tingles of pleasure through her chest and a devious smile lit up her face before she tangled her free hand in his surprisingly soft hair. "Wouldn't dream of it… _Erik_."

* * *

 **~ One Week Earlier: Monday ~**

* * *

Lucy flailed about as her ring tone went off, her hands scrambled and searched for her stupid ass phone that was making that horrible noise in the middle of the night.

She needed her sleep. _Needed it_. She had one last exam and then she was done her fourth year of college and she could move the fuck back to her home town, and she should be asleep still dammit.

The moon was still up for the God's sakes! The stars were out and she was _not happy_.

She swiped angrily at the touch screen to accept the call – on muscle memory alone as her eyes were firmly shut closed willing this all to be a bad dream, or hallucination from sleep deprivation or _something like that_ – and offered a very terse and extremely rude bark of "WHAT!?" to whomever dared to interrupt her peaceful slumber.

"—it's all wrong! All of it! I can't Blondie…fucking hell I can't get this to work. The colours just don't complement each other and the scents are wrong. And the delivery person fucked up again and THERE WON'T BE ANY BABIES BREATH!"

Well.

That explained it.

Lucy sighed and slapped her hand over her forehead and willed the Gods have mercy on her poor soul. What had she done in a past life that she had to deal with her brother in the middle of the night?

Freaking out…again. Over centerpiece arrangements of all things. Laxus was a good man, but he freaked out over the weirdest shit. Granted…this was his best friend's wedding. But she could almost guarantee that Bixslow will be eye-fucking his new husband too much to really give a rat's ass about the flowers.

"Sparky! It's fucking—" She flinched back into her pillow as she finally looked at the screen for the time, grumbling because her brightness setting was turned way the fuck up and burned her retinas with the force of a thousand fiery suns. "—three fifty in the goddamn morning. Couldn't this have waited until normal business hours?"

Like not in the dead of night? Was that really too much to ask?

"NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! IT HAS TO BE PERFECT AND I FUCKING HATE FLOWERS!"

She rolled her eyes and blinked sleepily up at the ceiling. "Why did you call me then? I'm half way across the country and won't be back in town until the night before the rehearsal dinner. Wake Flare up instead. You should be going to your wife with your stupid flower problems instead of your tired sister who has her last exam in Latin in the morning."

"But, Flare needs to sleep…the little monster's taking a lot out of her."

Translation…Flare's a Demon if woken up early. Lucy shook her head. Her poor brother and his problems. The baby was sure causing his wife's hormones to fly out of whack and he was taking the brunt of it. Pregnant Flare was scary.

"Fine. Talk to Bix. It's his wedding anyways. Or better yet. Call Macbeth. He's always been better at colour matching…you know he _is_ the one with the art degree."

"It's their wedding and I don't want them to think I'm letting them down."

Awe, her big snuggly teddy bear of a brother and his insecurities. She yawned and rubbed a palm against her face, scrubbing the last of the sleep from her eyes. "Fine. Call me on Skype and we'll hash all the problems out."

"Love you Lu."

"Yeah yeah. I know." She threw her phone down on her bedspread with a groan before stalking off to throw her coffee maker on. "You owe me so fucking much for this…"

* * *

 **~ Thursday ~**

* * *

Three days later and Lucy was feeling much more refreshed having gone directly from her Latin exam – which she flew through in a complete daze hyped up on an incredible amount of caffeine and sugar to get her through the day – to sleeping like a damn baby for thirteen hours.

She stood in line at the post office, ready to mail Bix and Macbeth's wedding present to them and she wanted it to get to them after their wedding that was coming up next week so that they would be super surprised.. It was two tickets for Grimoire Heart – their favourite band in the entire world – wrapped up and boxed in so many layers of tissue and tape and cardboard that it will take them forever to just get it out. They would for sure hate her, but nothing is earned in life easily. And Bix would find it funny, she was sure of it. He loved pranks cause he was a little shit stain.

Her mind wandered to remembering when she had been in here last, mailing back the invitation that cordially invited her to the wedding eight months prior with the plus-one box firmly left blank, and she smiled a little.

Bixslow had skyped her less than a week later in an absolute panic.

 _"Babe, what happened?"_

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"Don't you play coy with me sugar. You know exactly what I mean. What happened to Sting?"_

 _"We…uhm…broke up Bixy. A couple weeks ago."_

 _"Why didn't you fucking call me? I would have been there in a damn heartbeat if I had known. Does Laxus know?"_

 _"No…I didn't want to worry him. He just got married and…he deserves a little time with Flare. Don't get your panties in a twist Bix. It's not a big deal."_

 _"You were together for a whole two years Lu. Not a big deal she says. No! It's a huge deal. And I hate that you're so far away from all of us, you know. You have no support system. Laxus is gunna shit a fucking brick once he finds out…not to mention what Erza will do. Oh Mavis, what about Natsu?"_

 _"No one knows but you actually, and I want to keep it like that for a while. I just…need some time. You know I can't tell Natsu unless Gray's there to calm him down, especially when it comes to stuff like this. He'd run all the way here just to rip out Sting's intestines."_

 _"I know."_

 _"That's not a good thing Bix."_

 _"I think it is…it's just…"_

 _"…what's wrong?"_

 _"I wish you were here with us babe."_

 _"I know. I miss you all, I wish that I had been closer, but the program is only offered here…I hate that I've missed so much of everything. I'm so happy about you and Macbeth though. You guys deserve each other."_

 _"Thanks doll. But seriously…what the hell happened? Was it just a mutual thing? Or was it just not working anymore?"_

 _"No. I caught him balls deep inside Minerva."_

 _"…"_

 _"Bix?"_

 _"He's fucking dead. Not even Gray will be able to keep Natsu away."_

 _"Don't worry…I kicked him into a wall when he actually said 'it's not what it looks like!' God, such a dick to use that cliché on me. Gave him a nice concussion for it too."_

 _"That's my girl."_

The thing was, not one of her friends and family knew that she didn't have a boyfriend anymore, and it had happened almost nine months prior. After their honeymoon, Flare had announced that she was pregnant, and Lucy didn't want to load her own problems onto her brother's shoulders as well. He needed to focus on his new wife and little baby and find a damn house to live in that _was not an apartment Laxus Dreyer, don't make me come over and force you to read the for sale section of the paper._

When Natsu and Gray and Erza and _everyone_ called or skyped or anything, she didn't lie to them when they asked about the relationship…she was just really good at redirecting all their attention elsewhere. Only Bix knew. And probably Macbeth. That stupid blue-haired idiot had really loose lips after a good orgasm. According to his fiancé. Which was just…

…all kinds of wrong to know about, but whatever. Bix and she were two fucked-up weird-ass peas in a very large pod (filled with the rest of their rag tag gang of orphans and friends and the socially rejected.) Still, she didn't really need to know about his sex habits, at all.

Ever.

Grudgingly, Bickslow had agreed until after the baby had been born, or until Laxus figured it out, which was probably going to be sometime this weekend if she was perfectly honest. The fact that Sting wasn't going to be attached to her hip like some needy child was probably a cause for alarm. She didn't want to lie to Laxus, or any of her friends, so she would keep her lips zipped until asked. Lucy thanked Bix and promised him one of her backrubs, the guy was a sucker for a good massage and they both knew it. (She had told Midnight that early on in their relationship and was rewarded with the sounds of passionate sex in the guest room of her Grandfather's house that evening for her troubles. Ew. But the ability to tease poor Macbeth until he looked like a walking tomato almost made up for the grossness factor.)

Bix had always been her brother's best friend and had always been around their house when they were younger. He was her brother too in all the ways that counted. She had been so very happy when he had come out as 'gay as the day was long' (his words not hers) – even though she already knew – and the next week started to go out with Macbeth, the shy kid in their grade twelve graduating class that drew constantly and talked to no one. Bix brought him out of his shell, and Lucy had learned to love that little loner to pieces. She was always jealous that his make-up was done better than hers every single time.

Thank the Gods he had agreed to do hers for the wedding. She could never get the wings right.

While Laxus had agreed – tearfully – to be the Best man for Bix, she had jumped at the chance to be a grooms…woman for him. Like he even had to ask. The others were Freed Justine, a friend from their college that had flowed seamlessly into their little group of friends, and Evergreen a child hood bestie that was around almost as much as Bix had been, but less annoying.

She knew Macbeth had Sorano, Sawyer and Richard as his groomsmen (and woman) but she had absolutely no idea who his best man was. The only name she had was Cobra – which she sincerely hoped was a nickname – and that he had been like a brother to Macbeth for most of his life, but was home schooled. Then he was recruited directly out of high school for the army. And that was it.

Laxus had been up in arms weeks ago about what colour tie he should have, but he didn't know how to match it to Cobra's hair colour or something like that because he hadn't ever met the guy and didn't believe Macbeth when he said Cobra's hair was maroon. The guy was a mystery, and it intrigued Lucy while it just pissed Laxus off to no end.

"Have a nice day."

She was ripped out of her musings by the dismissal of the postal worker. Apparently she had sent and paid for her package on autopilot.

Lucy hefted her packed bags into her arms and checked her phone for the time, mentally calculating if she had enough leeway before her flight to stop off and grab a quick coffee and snack.

Eh, she could swing it. So she hailed a cab and gave directions to Mermaid Heel.

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

"What will it be Ms Lucy? The usual?"

"Afternoon Kagura, I'm going to spice it up today I think. I'll have a latte and carrot muffin to go please."

Kagura eyed her for a moment before grabbing the tongs to wrestle out the biggest muffin she could find with the most cream cheese icing while Millianna made her latte at the machine in the back. "You okay? You've been coming here for three years and ordered the same thing every time. Why the change?"

She shrugged. "Just thought something different might be nice. I can't always have—"

"—an Americano with an extra shot of espresso and a chocolate brownie?"

 _Crap. Speak of the devil and he shall appear._

Curse her shitty luck straight to the pits of Tartaros.

Lucy's eyes widened before she turned in place, her right hand frozen while rooting around in her purse for the correct change.

The man behind her, she knew intimately, and he looked almost the same as he did all those months ago when he had found him buried deep into his chemistry partner's vagina. Stupid blonde hair, blued eyed bastard. Screw is bright smile and perfect teeth! Screw him right to hell.

She regretted ever giving him her virginity. That had been a mistake, but hindsight was twenty-twenty. There was nothing she could do about it now but curse his name and hope a snake would somehow drop out of the sky and bite off his penis.

"Sting."

"It's good to see you Lucy."

"Likewise." Except for she was lying out her ass. It was not good to see him. Not at all.

Kagura silently handed her the muffin and coffee and Lucy snapped back into reality. But before she could even pull the correct change out for her snack, Sting had beaten her to it and payed for hers as well as a coffee for himself.

The owner of Mermaid Heel only raised a single eyebrow at Lucy, who shook her head and rolled her eyes. Kagura shot her a look that screamed 'tell me later' and she nodded. They would definitely be having words the next time she came here. Kagura was one of Lucy's better acquaintances and she would sincerely miss her when she left to move back home.

Sting gestured to a couple of comfortable looking chairs in the corner of the room and Lucy mechanically followed him and sat on the edge of one, stiffly bringing the to-go cup to her lips and sipping her drink which she could no longer taste.

"How have you been?"

She sighed, suddenly weary. She hadn't wanted to run into him of all people just before the wedding that was supposed to be a very exciting and happy occasion. Her brother was getting married to the man he loved and dammit Sting was a little shitbag for ruining her mood. "Cut the crap, Sting. What do you want to talk to me about?"

He blinked at her a little taken aback. Well, tough, she was feeling a little bitter about their break-up still, so sue her. "I'm glad I ran into you. I just wanted to talk to you about before…"

"What?"

"When we broke up."

"Oh. You mean when I caught you having sex with a woman who wasn't me and then I kicked your ass through a wall? Is that what you mean?"

He winced at her loud voice and looked around to see if anyone was staring at them. Lucy quite frankly didn't give a flying fuck, she could make a scene if she wanted to dammit. She was a woman scorned and there was a saying about that somewhere but she was too mad to think about anything but disembowelment.

"Uhm. Yeah."

"Alright. Let's get this over with." She was already so done with today, with this conversation, with _him_. And she still had a plane ride to deal with that was growing steadily closer.

"I made a mistake Kitten."

Lucy flinched at the old pet name. It was something that she had loved once upon a time when she thought Sting was the one for her and that no one else could compete for her heart. Oh, how fucking wrong she was.

"Uh huh."

"I miss you."

And there it was. The whole reason why he was talking to her. Probably found out that the grass wasn't greener on the other side. "What happened to Minerva? Dump your ass too?"

"No, I _left her_ when I found out she was…uhm…"

"Sweet Serena, she cheated on you. You picked an absolute keeper Sting." Lucy couldn't help but bark out a sarcastic laugh that was so bitter it actually tasted disgusting.

"I know…I just wanted to know if you would give me a second—"

Lucy reached over the table and squeezed his lips together, not wanting to hear any more words out of his lying stupid mouth. "No. Not in a million years."

"Please Kitten?" He spat out around her fingers.

She sighed and closed her eyes, mentally counting back from ten so that she wouldn't kick this shit head through the wall again. She couldn't believe this man's audacity to ask her for a second chance. At least he knew what it felt like to be cheated on. Karma was truly the biggest bitch in the entire world.

God. Was her love life just one giant cliché after another? Was Sting actually asking for a second chance? Her answer was no, it was going to be no every single time. She hated liars, and Sting was on the top of her shit list at the moment.

Obviously.

"No. Absolutely not Sting." She stood up and stalked over to the door. She had a plane to catch to her brother's wedding where she would be single surrounded by all her friends who were starting to have their own families and falling in love and buying houses to live in. Together.

Could this day just end yet? She sped up to briskly flee the coffee shop. She had no shame in that.

"Just think about it!? I'll talk to you later Kitten…call me!" Sting's voice was whiny and needy and _ohmyMavis is he pouting?_

She shook her head and made a break for it. "Stop calling me that name!" She barked over her shoulder before she let Mermaid Heel's painted door slam shut behind her.

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

"Bix. Chill. Seriously you're going all 'mother hen' on my ass again. Save it for the honeymoon, you know that Macbeth eats that shit up with a damn spoon. He _lurves_ your tender lovin'."

Bickslow stuck his long tongue out at Lucy and cackled while hefting one of her carry-ons over his broad shoulder. "Don't I know it sugar. He loves it sweet and slow. But…real talk now."

She sighed knowing that this was coming. Lucy was just thankful that Laxus had to work today and couldn't pick her up so spilling the beans about her failure of a relationship then hiding it for months on end from _everyone_ was delayed at least one more full day. "Fine Bix."

"You good Lu? You kinda look a little…"

"Pale? Sick? Tired? All of the above?"

"I was gunna say pissed-as-all-hell, but sure."

She laughed, tension bleeding from her shoulders and something tight and hot unwound from her stomach. Leave it to Bix to make her feel better. He always knew what to say to get her to laugh even if she was ugly-crying.

Shit, she had missed everyone so much. Thank the Gods she was moving back home soon.

Rolling her eyes she kicked at his shin to trip him up. "You would contemplate murder too if you had run into your ex at your favourite coffee shop and he had tried to get back together with you with not one but too mother of all clichés."

"What the actual fuck? Is he a dumbass or what?"

"My point exactly. And get this, he broke it off with Minerva cause she was fucking someone else."

"Lords have mercy on my poor soul. That is just too good. Let the fucker get a taste of his own medicine eh?"

She smiled wide. "You betcha Bixy. Now, where's your ride. I want a hot fucking shower and my snatch needs a little TLC, nervous sweats plus annoyed plus planes do not mix." She squirmed a little. Lucy hated being uncomfortable.

Bickslow looped an arm around her and squeezed tight. "Damn I missed some of the shit you say on a daily basis. You know I love no-filter-Lucy."

"I know."

"So, where am I taking you? Laxus'?

"No way. Big bro has his hands full with pregnant Flare. I'm not gunna add my sorry ass on top of that."

"So…" He unlocked the door to his bright blue car, familiar grumpy tikki face swinging from the rear view mirror.

"Take me to Natsu's. He's expecting me tomorrow and I wanted to surprise butthole." The name calling was all in fun, she loved Natsu just as much as her own brother, but she would never say that out loud. Laxus was sensitive like that.

"You know he's gonna freak and probably accidentally light his house on fire again."

She snorted, her best friend was a damn menace. "He deserves it after that stunt he pulled at Christmas two years ago."

"Gotcha. Just…like be careful."

"Why?"

"Gray moved in two months ago remember?"

"Shit."

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

"What did I tell you?"

Lucy held back a laugh with her palm as she heard the tell-tale signs that her two high school friends were bumping uglies.

 _"—Fuck! Harder you fucking stripper. That all you got?"_

 _"…take it you Flaming Fuck. Dammit you're so fucking tight…"_

"Shit. They still fight while they fuck? That's…" Bickslow dumped her bags by the front door while Lucy fished out her key to Natsu's house he had given her in eighth grade.

"Typical? This seems normal to me. Like…I would be way more freaked out if it was all tender and loving and shit."

"That…actually makes sense. You gonna be okay her babe?"

Lucy threw her bags on threadbare couch and nodded. They were both studiously ignoring the loud moaning and rhythmic thumping that was coming from above them, like it was just white noise. "Yep. I'll just wait out this sex-storm down here, kick their asses for leaving their bedroom window open again, and then get some cuddles in."

"Make them shower first okay? You too."

She huffed out a laugh and wrinkled her nose. "No shit. That's just…ew. Gross."

Bickslow dropped a kiss on her forehead and she beamed up at her brother. "See you all tomorrow at eight sharp for the rehearsal dinner alright? Make sure those two idiots wear a tie."

She shot him a look. "You know Natsu hates anything that's not his scarf and Gray strips constantly. What's the point?"

"Fine. Just…no jeans okay?"

She saluted him. "Aye, sir!"

"Love you, sis."

"Love you too. See you tomorrow."

When Bickslow was gone and the sexy times seemed to have stopped for the moment being, Lucy gathered up all the air in her lungs and shouted up the stairs. "YO! GUESS WHO'S HOME!?"

The sweaty gross hugs from her best friends were worth it for all of three seconds before Lucy demanded they all take showers. At least they had put on their boxers.

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

"Luuuuucceeee…" Natsu was whining again while he smushed his face into Lucy's stomach, rubbing his nose back and forth like he did when he was younger. "Why didn't you tell us you were coming back?"

"What? So I could have missed that lovely display earlier? Hell no. You know I love hearing my besties banging."

Gray slapped her lightly upside the head and plopped down with a bowl of popcorn beside her, wriggling between Natsu's outstretched legs and the back of the couch. It was Netflix and _chill the fuck out and fall asleep in a tangled pile_ night. "Come on. Be serious for a moment."

"I am."

"Lu."

"Alright. I just wanted to surprise you okay?"

Natsu purred as she carded her hands through his pink hair, melting into a little puddle on her lap. "Damn. Missed your hands. Sorry Gray, I think I might like them more than yours."

Gray nodded in understanding. "Don't blame you. She's got the magic touch."

For a while it was silent and calm, movie playing in the background. Until Natsu broke the spell they were under. "Where's Sting?"

Lucy looked down guiltily at the floor and away from both her friend's critical gazes. She fiddled with the ends of Natsu's favourite scarf and coughed awkwardly into her hand. "Uhm."

"Lucy."

Dammit, Gray was using that no nonsense tone he learned from Erza.

"We broke up."

Both reactions were immediate and predictable and exactly the same from both her boys. "WHAT!?"

"—what happened? Did he—"

"—how long ago? Why didn't you call? Mavis Luce—"

"You know I'd have been there in a second! Lu…"

"—what did he do?"

Lucy held up a hand until they were silent again, then proceeded to tell them the whole sordid tale, which wasn't all that long and came out easier than she thought.

Gray fumed, Natsu growled.

She loved these boys to the ends of Earthland.

They piled together as she shed a couple of tears because she was a girl who lost the man she loved.

Falling asleep, she was happy that she didn't have to stop them from boarding the next plane to Crocus. It probably had something to do with how Erza would have killed them if they left before the wedding.

Oh well.

That night she finally had a dreamless sleep like she needed squished between her two best friends and finally home. It had been a long time since she had felt that safe.

* * *

 **~ Friday ~**

* * *

" _Oh Mavis. Who the hell is that?_ "

Her panties were soaked. Destroyed. Entirely useless.

Because there was a man standing beside Bickslow slapping Macbeth's hands away from fiddling with his tie that looked like sex-on-a-stick.

He was _gorgeous._

Tan skin, sexy shit eating smirk, flashing devious eye…just one eye a brilliant vivid violet, slashing scar through the other that made him so scarily tempting that Lucy actually had to take two steps back from him to avoid giving into her baser instincts and nibble on his ear.

Oh sweet Serena.

His _pierced fucking ear_.

She was fucked.

Mira tittered at her bewildered and flustered friend, sharp eyes flashing between Lucy and the unknown male. "Dunno. I think his name is Cobra and he's a friend of Macbeth's. That's all I know."

Lucy swallowed around her tight throat and belted back the rest of her glass of champagne. "He's the best man."

Her morning and the rest of her day up until Gray had driven her and Natsu – picking up Gajeel and Levy along the way, who were deliriously happy to see her, even if Gaj denied the fact – to the rehearsal dinner, had been filled with old stories and lamenting their shared periods of awkwardness in their high school years. She had forced Natsu into a red button up and made sure to pack extra clothes for Gray – even though she knew it was entirely hopeless and everyone was so used to him stripping anyways – gotten ready herself in a tight, very short deep green dress with a very high neck and long sleeves.

Natsu had commented that it looked a little conservative for her tastes – his words were non-slutty, to which she kicked him in the stomach for his insensitivity – until she had turned around and saw that there was essentially no back to that little number. She wore her hair up in an artfully messy bun to show off the curve of her spine. It was obvious that she wasn't wearing a full bra and damn did that make her feel adventurous and tingly.

It also showed off her tattoos in a very advantageous way (a line of small black stars down her spine, very tastefully done in Lucy's opinion, thank the Lords that Drunk Lucy had half a brain left while white girl wasted). Natsu told her if he wasn't fucking Gray, he'd jump her. Which was kinda flattering…knowing that Natsu was a little on the Bi side of things, but mostly weird and gross cause hello. He was practically her brother and had always been.

Gray had asked her if she was trying to get laid.

She had no answer to that question, because as far as she knew she wasn't. She loved everyone at this wedding and didn't want to jeopardise anything with any of them. So the dress was just to boost her self-esteem and say fuck you to Sting who was missing out on her ass in it.

But that was before this… _lickable_ …man decided to show his ruggedly handsome face and her brain fuzzed out and all bets were off.

 _How long had it been since she had had sex again?_

Too long apparently. She couldn't even remember the number of months it had been.

Probably eight. Maybe nine, probably more because Sting had been getting it with someone else, but she couldn't really think about that because Cobra was staring right at her and lightning zipped right down her spine straight to her core and lit a fucking inferno inside.

She had never been so instantly attracted to someone and couldn't for the life of her, give a fuck about it.

Mira had long since left and Lucy kept surreptitiously glancing at Cobra in hopes that she was being sneaky enough that she didn't look creepy.

Except, a certain drunk saw right through her façade. "You need some sex darling."

Lucy didn't even look over at her friend, choosing instead to stuff her face with a canape that she didn't even know the name of. "How'd you know?"

"Took one look at you and my vagina started to cry."

"Sure."

"Lu. Baby. Woman to woman. Is Sting not doing it in the sack anymore?"

"Seeing as we broke up almost nine months ago because I found him in the _sack_ with someone else…no."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

"All the more reason to flaunt the goods tonight. Show those girls off." Cana did a once over of her outfit. "Second thought, your ass looks mighty fine in that little dress. Shit…If I wasn't straight I would be all over you."

Lucy shot her a smile. "Awe. Cana. Thanks." She loved her friends, they always knew how to make her feel good about herself.

"Don't mention it. Now turn around and bend over a little—yeah. Now point that derriere towards your target and bam, you'll get a catch in no time."

"I'm not fucking _fishing_ you drunkard."

Cana laughed and handed her another drink. "Don't worry Lu-bitch. You'll reel in a keeper for sure. Trust mama Cana on this one." The brunette swaggered off (more of a tipsy stumble but that was her usual gait, so nothing new there) with a parting wink and a single finger salute.

Lucy rolled her eyes. She loved her friends but damn were they ridiculous.

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

"Oi. Stop it."

"No. It looks like an epileptic chimpanzee decided to tie this knot. I taught you better than this Cobra. Where is your pride? For the Gods' sakes it's my wedding."

He rolled his eye at his dramatic as fuck best friend. "Rehearsal Dinner. Your actual wedding is in two days Midnight."

"Close enough. You were in the fucking army, how did they not…I don't know…kick you out for this atrocity right away?"

"Because we didn't wear fucking ties there Midnight! And I was a fucking sniper. We didn't go around in evening attire then take down a target at an elegant party. And before you say it…Bond was a fictional character. I wore black, I still wear black and I hate ties. End of story."

Midnight ignored his comments and fiddled with the length of the tie now, mumbling about one-eyed idiots.

Cobra slapped his best friend's hands away again. "It looks fine. Alright?" He grumbled a bit about the injustice of ties. The army didn't have ties. He didn't have to wear ties at work now either. That had more to do with the fact that he was the boss, but he didn't make his employees wear ties cause he was nice like that.

Ties were evil contraptions that could be used to choke someone. How was that smart? How was that a good idea, especially because he was in combat half the time he was with the army?

"Fine, you loser." Except for Macbeth still fumbled and plucked at the stupid silk thing. Although, Cobra did like the colour. The deep purple complimented his skin nicely. Even he could appreciate that.

Macbeth finally stepped away from him with a small huff, but conceded to the fact that no matter what he did, Cobra would probably find a way to mess it up later.

Cobra waved at the bartender they had contracted for the evening for a whisky, took one sip while his eye gazed around the crowd of people he didn't know at all (except for a select few, like Richard and Sorano and Macbeth) and promptly choked on the liquid when he inhaled too sharply.

 _Green. Legs, gloriously long legs and ass and mmmm….fuck. Stars. Tattoos. Sweet Lord Almighty._

He was a damn sucker for nice ink, his arms and back were covered in it.

It wasn't often something caught his attention like that, but Cobra had a problem with fixation apparently and _she_ was fucking delicious. And damn he wanted to savour her like a four course meal.

"Dude. You okay?"

Cobra hacked a little and slid his eye sideways to see who had walked up in his blind spot. Damn whoever it was for doing that. He recognized this man though. Bickslow. The other groom of the wedding in two days.

 _He should probably make nice._

"I'm fine. Just…surprised is all. Wasn't really expecting to see anyone _that_ sexy tonight." He nodded towards the blonde leaning over one of the tables on the other side of the room in a daring dark green backless dress that made her ass just... _ugh_.

Biteable. He wanted to fucking bite her. He had never, ever wanted to do something like that to another person but hey…there was a first time for everything.

Not to mention the fact that he wanted to mark up the smooth expanse of her back until it looked almost purple with bruises. And then she turned towards him and shot him a sweet smile – even though it could have been aimed at the man next to him for all he knew – and damn.

Just…damn. His brain was _done_. Just…finished. Her eyes burned into him and he couldn't help but let his stomach get all melty and warm and shit—

She was beautiful. Her smile was absolutely stunning.

Was it weird that he wanted to bend down and worship the ground she walked on?

Probably.

 _What the hell was going on with him?_ His arousal was off the charts and it was taking all of his considerable brain power – oh he was a humble bastard – to even think actual words in the correct order to make a sentence.

He hated clichés, absolutely abhorred them. But he wasn't opposed to saying that when their eyes met he knew somehow that he had _maybe…possibly_ …been looking for her his whole life? Damn that was too cheesy to think about and under no circumstances would that come out of his mouth, ever.

The 'see-a-stranger-across-a-crowded-room-and-instantly-fall-for-them' trope was more than enough to boggle his mind until it was a stream of thoughts about how beautiful she looked in green, and he didn't need to think about anything deeper at that moment. He didn't want to add 'where-have-you-been-my-entire-existence' cliché on top of all of this as well.

There was only so much a guy could handle before his brain actually exploded. And Sorano would murder his ass if he got her decorations all dirty.

"You mean the blonde over there? Green dress? Nicest rack the world has ever seen?"

"Sure?" Wasn't this guy like…super gay for Macbeth? Even if he could conceded that _yes_ she did indeed have breasts that he wanted to fondle until she moaned and then fall asleep on to see if they were as soft as he thought they would be…it was a little weird to have someone else say that about her.

"That's Lucy. My sister."

 _Oh fuck._ Whoops.

And now it was even weirder.

Awkward. This was all so awkward. Why was this guy telling him that his _sister_ of all people had a nice rack?

His brain kick started again and threw out a tiny "Oh." Cause what did one say to something like that? Sorry for wanting to kiss your sister senseless then fuck her over that table over there then wake up beside her and cook her breakfast and treat her like a princess?

 _Nope._ Definitely not that.

Well…maybe that last part. But it was so sickly sweet that even _he_ wanted to puke a little. Didn't mean he didn't want to do it though. It just took him by surprise. Goddamn, now even his own brain was blindsiding him…

The man cackled. Like…actually cackled like the Wicked Witch of the West. "No worries. She's not my actual sister, but we act like siblings. And even _I_ , the super gay man who tried pussy once and decided it wasn't for him, can see she's hot. What you have to watch out for is that guy over there."

Bickslow pointed to a gigantic man with a scar on his face and familiar blonde hair. The behemoth looked over the crowd then swept up the tiny blonde woman – _Lucy_ – in his arms before she was pulled into a hug by a very pregnant red-haired woman who looked a little…well, she didn't look like she was all there to be perfectly honest.

"That's her _actual_ brother and my best man. Laxus Dreyer."

Cobra choked on his drink for the second time that night and Bickslow gave him a look that made him think that the blue with three crazy blue fauxhawks was going to ask him if he knew how to swallow properly. "You mean the MMA fighter? The Thunder God?" he wheezed out around his fist. The guy could probably pile drive him into the ground with his pinky. He was enormous and intimidating and _shit_.

He was probably telepathic and knew exactly what Cobra wanted to do with Laxus' baby sister.

But, Cobra wasn't all that scared – _lies_ – as he co-owned Crime Sorciere and had seen his fair share of intimidating men and been in hairy situations since he was discharged from the army. Private security was where it was at now, and he was happy that he had gone into business with Jellal, the guy was wicked smart when he wasn't doing his angsty moping bullshit over the lost love of his life. They dominated Fiore and were thinking about branching out into Pergrande now, and perhaps Seven. Diplomats needed protection too right? And their paranoid asses paid good money to feel safe in unfamiliar countries.

" _Oh yeah._ Sometimes I forget what he does for a living, he's been around so much since his own wedding last year and then Flare got pregnant. Hasn't had a match in nearly a year…" He assumed Flare was the woman beside Laxus who looked like she was staring into space and humming.

"Uhm. Cool. Still…I'm sorry about the comment about…uh…your sister." _Be cool. Be nice. No one knows you're a sarcastic bitch who loves vulgarity here_.

Bickslow waved him away with a smirk. "No worries. Everyone knows Lu is hotter than hell. If I wasn't gay, I'd be all up in her snatch."

 _Huh_.

Cobra decided that he really liked Bickslow. Maybe he could be himself around these people.

He sipped his whisky again as two other men ambled over to the blonde and draped themselves over her shoulders and the pink-haired one squeezed her around the middle tightly, his face practically shoved in her cleavage. Apparently the brooding one over her left shoulder said something that made her flick them both in the forehead and shoo them away.

"And those two?"

His new tour guide for all things related to this crazy gathering of friends and family – honestly, who shows up to a rehearsal dinner fucking drunk already? – snorted and drained the last of his own drink. "Natsu and Gray. Lucy's best friends all the way through high school and beyond. They fight and the bicker and they fuck."

"What? All of them?" His mind stuttered to a halt trying to comprehend the situation. The placement of everyone and their bodies and all the limbs just seemed overwhelming to him. And he was a little disheartened to know that the woman whose hair was bright and vibrant like the sun and – _please could he just pull it? Would she be into that?_ – was taken.

The cackling from beside him was back and Bickslow was laughing like he just told the best joke in the world.

"What? Fuck no. Just Gray and Natsu. You'll probably walk in on them humping each other in the coat closet later, yelling childish insults at each other."

"That's…a little fucked honestly." But, he was relieved a little. Lucy wasn't with those two, having three-sums and shit and having sex together that didn't include him.

Just him and Lucy though. Gray and Natsu? Was it? Could go fuck right off.

"Don't even get me started. Lu has the best stories about them when they were in their 'having-sex-but-nothing-more-no-we-don't-love-each-other' phase."

"I bet. So she isn't…uh…taken? She isn't seeing anyone?" He was only asking for…science. Or whatever.

Bickslow hummed a 'no' and then was called away by his soon to be husband who shot Cobra's tie a look of ire like it personally offended him. He smirked at his best friend and he turned back to the bartender for another drink, preferably one he didn't inhale into his lungs this time.

A sultry voice called for some kind of blended drink that he knew would probably be pink or lime or something like that. His eye quickly darted to the side and there she was. Lucy…whatever her last name was, leaning over the counter a little with her ass popped out just so.

 _Seriously biteable_.

"Cobra right?"

He grinned a little into his glass and turned towards her. "And you're Lucy."

It wasn't a question, but a statement that he knew would throw her off-guard a little and give him room to maneuver. He hated when he had been blind-sided, literally and figuratively, and his woman had come out of nowhere and was giving him heart palpitations and sending signals straight to his dick that – if he followed through with them – would probably get him killed by her brother.

But…the death would be sweet because she looked like she would be entirely worth it.

Lucy gave a little smirk and licked some of the salt off the rim of her margarita. Her pretty pink tongue darted out and danced in a way that was much too sensual to be an accident. She didn't look like she was thrown off-guard by it at all, and that threw him for a fucking loop. "Hmm. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, I'm sure we'll be great… _friends_ …after this weekend." The way he said friends…there was no way for her not to hear the innuendo in his voice. He was never like this. Not even with Kinana, his last girlfriend. Usually he was a stand-up guy, a little gruff around the edges and came with some baggage from the wars he had seen, but never was he this forward with anyone. He got to know them, went on dates, met parents, and played nice.

But if there had been a spark of something between him and all his other ladies had gone out with over the years…whatever the hell he felt between Lucy and himself was a damn supernova. It was electric and felt like fire and ice and something else that was hard to pin down but it was making his stomach curl and his fingers tingle with the phantom touch of what her silky thighs would feel like.

 _What the hell was she doing to him?_

His length twitched excitedly as he watched her throat move with a swallow of her drink. It wasn't something that he thought _should_ be sinfully sexy, but it was to him. All he could think about was licking up the side of her neck so he could nibble on her pulse point and leave his marks so everyone could see.

Cobra was trying to be honorable. Trying to be unselfish about taking what he wanted. But as her eyes glowed with mischief that just spelled _trouble_ for all parties involved, he suddenly didn't care that he was acting a little different. A little more like he had in his youth. The army had hammered in a bunch of ideals he found hard to shake, but that was alright. Cobra still wanted to keep that unwavering honesty and integrity, but if he was a little selfish, just this once, that would be okay too.

"I'd love to be friends Cobra. Only if you play nice though." She practically purred and _oh what the hell what the hell what the fucking hell…_ he was hooked. This woman reeled him in completely like no one had ever done before. He wasn't one to do _anything_ on the basis of physical attraction and he enjoyed a clever mind and compassion and a good attitude as well, but there was just …something about Lucy that was…different? That brought this side of him out. One that wasn't afraid of going too fast or being intimate or showing off his darker side that liked it rough and hot and biting.

Oh. So much biting.

He smiled showing off his sharp teeth, lifting her hand to his mouth to press a single kiss to her knuckles. Like he was an honorable man that wasn't thinking about how much he wanted her out of that dress, ass in the air and pussy clenching around him.

She sucked in a tentative breath when he kept her hand in his and leant towards her and then watched her shudder a little when his breath ghosted over the shell of her ear. "No promises, Starshine."

Lucy grabbed that insufferable tie around his neck and gave him a saucy wink, leading him like a dog on a leash to who knows where, but he didn't care. Anywhere was good. Everywhere was fine.

Suddenly, he didn't mind ties all that much anymore.

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

She had dragged him off into a shadowed corner the night before, but instead of immediately jumping on him like some sort of wild animal, like he knew he wanted her to do…desperately…they wound up talking until they lost track of time and her two bonehead besties dragged her off to go to bed at two in the morning.

It had been nice, actually. To get a little more substance behind someone that he wanted to bone within an inch of their lives. Lucy was bright, and sparkly, and dazzling. But she held a little sadness in her when she talked. Something that he could understand really.

They bonded over not having any parents to speak of. She having lost them very early in life and being adopted into Laxus' family (who was actually her cousin) by her Grandfather Makarov – who was there sitting on the bar counter having a drinking contest with the drunk named Cana. He was in foster care most of his life and was home schooled by a man named Brain who he was with until he was old enough to be in the army. He had thought of it as an escape at first, but it was more like a duty at the end.

"You were discharged?"

"Honorably."

"May I ask why?" Lucy had been timid, as if the answer he would tell her was some kind of monumental secret. He had chuckled, because it was damn cute. So he tucked a piece of her golden hair behind her ear that was escaping her bun and told her that. She smiled and her cheeks turned a little pink and that was cute too.

"Don't worry so much about what you say around me okay? I'm an honest blunt bastard alright? I'll tell you if I don't want to answer it, and I was discharged because they didn't have any use for a blind sniper."

"I can see that."

"Well…I couldn't."

Lucy had snorted so hard at his bad attempt at a joke that she accidentally inhaled a little of her obnoxiously pink drink. "Dammit Cobra. Blind jokes? Seriously? And not to mention a terrible one at that."

He shrugged and laughed. It was nice connecting with someone again. It had been so long. The missions and assignments in Crime Sorciere were time consuming and Jellal had all but forced him to take all his vacation days off that had accumulated for the last three years, all at once. So now he had two full months of paid vacation leave and no idea how to spend it.

Laid out in a bed, strung out on the scent of sex and sin and _Lucy_ sounded like a good place to start actually.

"Why do you call me Starshine?"

His answer was out of his mouth and gone before he could even _think_ about what he was saying. "Because of your tattoos. And because you kinda glow like the stars. You're beautiful."

And then she had smiled up at him and Cobra had lost it, entirely. Self-control, patience, ability to think with something other than his cock…all out the window completely.

He kissed her and she gasped into it. His tongue licked into her mouth and it was warm and sugary and he wanted more.

So much more.

Lucy's hands had drifted from her glass up the sides of his face and were now tangled in his hair, the nails grazing the tips of his over-sensitive ears and he was so close to mounting her in this room with everyone watching it wasn't even funny.

She was a whirlwind, a fucking hurricane, a storm that had suddenly showed up and swept all preconceived notions about… _everything_ away. The rains cleansed him, the winds tore up his mind, the lightning and thunder were bright and loud until all he could see was her and all he could hear was his heart beat in his head.

She let him up for air and he gasped and panted, then chuckled as she grinned deviously. "Cobra. I'm gonna say right now…that was the best damn kiss I've ever had. Holy shit."

"Good. Cause I was going to say the same thing."

"I'm also going to tell you that we are gonna repeat that shit…a lot."

"How bout right now?" He leered towards her and she shot him a coy look.

Lucy tilted her head, then laughed like she had all the secrets in the world and he wanted to _know_. He wanted in.

"Not now, but I promise the next time I see you…I'll shove my tongue down your throat."

She winked and was suddenly hauled off by a blur of pink and black, screaming insults and chattering incessantly. He only had time to press a kiss to her hand and tell her he was looking forward to it before it happened.

Cause he was.

He really, _really_ was.

Cobra went to bed alone that night, filled with thoughts and memories of Lucy, he could still smell her on his clothes…especially on that insufferable tie. So, he acted like a teenager again and jerked it off in the shower, thinking about that one blinding kiss that lit up his insides like the fourth of July. He fantasised about those lips and tongue and teeth all over his body and came when her name spilled from his mouth.

He wanted to taste her again, and again, and again. So many more times. Her skin, her mouth, Gods…what he wouldn't give to dive face first into her pussy.

It would be sweet, he was more than sure of it.

Tomorrow…his time was going to be spent with Macbeth and his friends he hadn't seen for ages…but Sunday…after the wedding ceremony of course…he was going to hunt that little vixen down and make her his, even if she only wanted a single night. He knew, he fucking _just knew_ that it would be the best night of his life.

* * *

 **~ Saturday ~**

* * *

"So…Cobra eh?"

"…no comment?"

Bickslow scoffed and stuffed his mouth with another fresh croissant. "Don't you fucking play coy with me darling. I saw the way you looked at each other. It was like I was drowning in sexual tension. Then that kiss…whooo boy. That was sexy as shit."

Lucy flicked a piece of her muffin at her idiot brother – whom she loved with her whole entire heart, just like every person in her family – and stuck her tongue out at him. They were doing breakfast at their favourite café in Magnolia (The Demon, owned by the lovely Mirajane) and chit-chatting about last minute things that had to be finalised for the wedding. They had finished that talk relatively quickly before Bix had decided to come at her with everything he had.

"I don't know Bixy. It's just…I couldn't help it with him you know? Remember the stories we all thought were bullshit about instant attraction and love-at-first-sight from our youth?"

"Yeah…"

"I still think they're a pile of horseshit, but…I could barely keep my hands off of him last night. It took all of my will power not to drag him away and ride him into the sunset."

"Hmmm…he's a good man Lu. I can tell. You talked, yah? Got to know each other?"

"Yes. He was a sniper that got hurt in the line of duty, he lost his parents too Bix. You know how much that shit means to me, how long it took me to tell you, and Natsu and _everyone_. And I told him last night, like…immediately."

"Shit. That's…"

"Serious as a damn heart attack."

"Yeah. What are you gonna do? After Sting…do you even want a relationship with someone? He could be another bastard under a sexy cloak of invisibility or something."

Lucy shook her head and downed the rest of her latte. "I don't think so. He told me some things about himself that I'm sure he wouldn't normally tell anyone unless…unless he trusted me. I trust him Bix."

"You don't even know his real name though."

She scowled at her brother, a little pissed at his sudden turn around. Didn't he trust her to make a good judgement call? She could understand about Sting, but…she thought she knew people well enough to know that Cobra was something special. "I don't care. I know Cobra, and when he trusts me enough, he'll tell me his name."

"So…you want something with him? Long distance?"

"Yes." Her answer was fast and much easier to spill off her tongue after this talk with Bix.

He smiled and laughed, throwing his head back. "That's my girl."

"You little shit. You played me to know my real answer, didn't you?"

"You know it. I wanted to know, and I assume you did to. This is what we do best doll. It was the same when I wanted to ask Macbeth to marry me. You asked me all this shit because I was having second thoughts, then suddenly we were fighting about it and then I was so _sure_ that he was the one for me."

"I think…I might have something like that with him…"

"With who? Sting?"

Lucy jumped in her seat. Crap, she had forgotten that Laxus was supposed to meet up with them after Cana and Mira had picked Flare up for an afternoon of dress shopping and getting their nails done. Lucy had declined the invite. She didn't care about her nails that much and her dress was hanging in closet at Natsu's (him and Gray had forced her to take the guest bedroom instead of checking into a hotel), Macbeth was doing her make-up and she had a call into Cancer to get her hair done. She was set.

Except…for this little chat that had been almost nine months coming. Laxus was going to be so pissed…he hated secrets.

"No. Not Sting big brother. Cobra." This was good. Catch him off guard and put him on his toes. Be blunt, be rational, be direct. Lucy squared her shoulders as Laxus sat down. She quirked a challenging brow, ready for anything.

"Oh. Alright."

That…was not was she was expecting. "What?!" Even Bickslow was gaping and he _never_ gawked. Nothing surprised him anymore, but apparently his best friend still had some tricks up his sleeves.

"You broke up with Sting months ago. I'm a little pissed that you never told me…cause I thought you and I told each other everything."

Lucy needed to restart her brain because it had shut down. Rebooting was in order, but…it was slow going. "—how?"

"How did I know? Easy. Flare told me."

The dots started to connect in Lucy's slow ass mind. "—Bix told Macbeth…who obviously told… _shit_ …Sorano. That sneaky little gossip." Sorano was Flare's best friend and told her _everything._ "Huh. Looks like Macbeth's dead to me now Bix. Can't keep my secrets inside his pretty head. And it wasn't even that juicy…he's gonna spill all your wedding night details before the night's over."

"Shut up Lu. You know I'll be shouting that shit from the rooftops before he can even get on Twitter. He gets all sleepy-kitty after coming. You know that."

Lucy scrunched up her nose while Laxus sipped a black coffee that matched his evil heart. "Ew. Yeah. But I only know that stuff cause you tell me against my will. You don't even give me a chance to cover my virgin ear holes."

"You love it."

"No I don't. I love you though. And your gossipy soon-to-be-husband."

Laxus grunted at their bickering and held up his hand for silence. "I want the whole story Lucy. Now. I've waited long enough." He was going to be an amazing father but Lucy hated it when he went all parental on her ass.

Lucy kinda wanted to stomp her foot and pout and say "you're not my real father" like a petulant teenager, but decided against that because that would be rude. And Laxus didn't really deserve her ire. It wasn't his fault Sting was a gigantic asshat.

She shrugged, the story wasn't really long, so she got to the point. "Sting cheated on me. I kicked him through a wall. He tried to ask for a second chance two days ago. I told him to suck my dick."

Her big brother's scowl deepened until it was something that could swallow the whole country of Pergrande. "That little shit stain. He _actually_ cheated on you? Did you have proof? Or just rumours."

Lucy smiled wickedly, humour and warmth all but gone from her face. "Found him banging Minerva in _our_ apartment. It was…gross. Is that enough proof?"

"That'll do pig."

"Shut up."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You just got married and then Flare was pregnant. Bix called, we chatted. I moved on."

"Lucy…"

Now it was her turn to hold up her hand. "No. I'm a big girl and don't need anyone to hold my hand. I dealt with it. End of story. I got some cathartic Natsu and Gray time and I cried a little already. I will admit that I probably shouldn't have kept it in so long, and that wasn't healthy, but it's my life alright?"

Laxus sighed like he was dealing with a petulant child. "Alright." He didn't believe her, but she didn't care. As long as he accepted her answer she was fine.

"Now…about Cobra."

She groaned as Bickslow wiggled his eyebrows. "Our baby sister here wants to do the deed with the tattooed hunk of her dreams."

Lucy's brain almost short-circuited. _Tattoos_. As in plural. She had only see a little bit of violet ink that peeked over the collar of his shirt while they…chatted. More than anything, right at this second, she wanted to rip off that stupid shirt and see just how many tattoos he really had.

"You just met him. How is that a good idea? You're moving back in like…a month's time. Where does he even live? What's his actual name? Do you even know him?" Laxus grumbled in his annoying 'I-know-better-cause-I'm-older' voice.

But she wasn't having any of it today. Lucy was already at her wits end from keeping herself from jumping Cobra _immediately_ last night. There was just something about him that…made her want to see deeper than his skin. He was a mysterious puzzle, wrapped in a layer of sexy, panty-droppingenigmaa.

And she wanted to know. But Laxus was pushing her patience about the whole thing.

Lucy knew that he was only being a big brother and something close to a father she never had, but she was a grown up dammit. She could make her own choices. "I like him, alright? That should be enough for everyone. And if I get my heart broken a little…so what? That's life, but he's sexy and he seems genuinely interesting and sarcastic and his level of sass makes me what to climb him like a damn tree."

"Fine. I get it. Just…be careful."

Lucy clapped her hands together and smiled. "I will _Papa_."

Laxus laughed a little and stood so they could get the bridal party their tuxes they were having tailored. "Come on you idiots. Let's get this shit over with and meet up with the rest. There's still so much we have to do."

"Do we have to?" Bix laid his head down on the table they were at and pouted with those puppy-dog eyes that she was (finally) immune to. They only got Macbeth now with their stupid cuteness. That shit got her in so much trouble when she was growing up. Lucy still had trouble with Natsu's, her immunity wasn't as strong to his.

Lucy rolled her eyes at Bickslow. Only _he_ would be too lazy to deal with anything for his actual wedding. Macbeth would have his hands full with this one.

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

"She could do so much better than you."

Cobra grunted and gave the evil eye towards his so called sister. "Thanks Sora. Love you too."

"Just saying…Lucy's a sweetheart and your…well…you're you. A bastard and a prickly one at that. And you hate everyone…You're like a cactus. An antisocial cactus."

"I don't hate you."

"Yes you do. You hate everyone. Including me." Sorano shifted in her seat, sipping her mimosa with an air of smugness.

"Fine. I hate you a little less than everyone else."

She nodded. "Damn straight."

Her smirked and drank his coffee. "So what if I have a thing for Lucy?"

Sorano eyed him and skipped right over his question to ask one of her own. "You gonna tell her your real name?"

He looked down and Macbeth – who had been silently watching from his spot across the table from both of them – raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. I think I will."

"When?" Both of his friends were looking at him now, a little apprehensive.

"Soon. Tomorrow. As soon as I see her I think."

"You sure? It takes you forever to trust people enough to do that. It took you what…months? To tell Kina? Why this girl? Why Lucy?"

"There's just something…about her. She's bright. I just…can't help it. I want to tell her everything. I want her to know Erik."

"Huh. Well. That's up to you buddy. She's a doll to Flare and like…the best friend anyone could have. I think she would bring a bit of sunshine to your life. Just be careful eh?"

"Yeah. I know." Cobra grunted into his cup. He didn't call her Starshine for shits and giggles. She really was bright and breathtaking. Wonderful with all her sharp edges and soft curves and amber eyes. But he thought she thrived more in the dark of the night, and not in the day time.

They spoke for a while longer, enjoying the early lunch just the three of them, just like it had been when they were younger…before Richard and Sawyer joined their little rag tag group. Meeting in that youth centre was really a blessing in disguise, even if Cobra pushed back against the love and security that he felt when it came to them for the first couple of years.

By the end of the afternoon, he was sure of telling Lucy. Showing her exactly who he was and what his name is, underneath Cobra the Sniper, owner of one of the biggest conglomerates in Fiore. Just…Erik Ophis, orphaned and alone but willing to give anything a try if she was up for it.

Even if he was a grumpy cactus with the emotional range of a teaspoon. Cobra was eighty-five percent sure that Lucy didn't care about that while the other fifteen percent just wanted to kiss her again.

* * *

 **~ Sunday ~**

* * *

"Gross. Just…this is so unhygienic. I don't know what to say."

"So that's where that went…We've been looking for that one forever. It's my favourite." Natsu's grabby hands came into view and plucked the massive bright red butt-plug from Lucy's hands.

She snorted. Of course Natsu loved it.

It _was_ his favourite colour.

"Why was it under the couch? Wait. No. Please don't tell me. That's just too much. I woke up to your extremely loud shower sex this morning and can't get the phrase 'fill me up you twat waffle' out of my mind. So…no. No explanations."

Natsu had the good grace to look _mildly_ ashamed. But it wasn't for the sex or the phrase, more than likely he felt guilty for waking up Lucy. Which she appreciated because she loved her sleep more than she loved her friends. "Sorry Lu. You know how we get."

She smiled at her friend who looked at her with big happy eyes filled with love at the memories of his partner. Her heart lurched a bit.

Lucy wanted that. She wanted to look like that while thinking of someone else again. She wanted those feelings that made her stomach flip-flop uncomfortably and let loose a jar or rabid butterflies in her chest. She wanted the mushy bits and the anxiety over whether their relationship was going too fast or too slow.

She wanted to call Cana at two in the morning in a panic because she was overthinking everything her significant other said to her on a date.

Then she remembered what she had been previously holding. "Sweet Serena I need to wash my fucking hands."

Natsu laughed at her disgusted look as she rushed to the kitchen sink. "Why were you even searching under the couch?"

Right. There had been a purpose. "I lost one of my earrings and thought it might be under there. No luck. All I found was…that." She waved her clean hands at him and flicked water at his naked chest in punishment for the horror she had already witnessed this early in the morning.

And _heard_ …but that was neither here nor there.

Natsu shrugged unabashed and with no shame. He was a damn breath of fresh air. All her friends were. They were real and amazing and loved with no reservations no matter the configuration or the pairing. She could marry a rock and they would fucking support her no holds bar. "Wear a different pair. I know you brought others. You plan for this shit when you pack. You always have a plan B."

He did really know her better than anyone, other than Bix of course. She leant her hip against the counter beside the sink while Natsu dumped the sex toy in the sink and washed it with warm water. She had to hand it to him, he was always so careful about hygiene when it came to something that really mattered. His room was still a disaster zone, but baby steps.

Her mind turned to what was waiting for them in only a couple of hours. "I can't believe they're getting married."

"I thought you won the bet about when Bickslow proposed? Why are you surprised?"

"I did win…but no that's not what I meant. I mean…their _finally_ going through with it you know? In my opinion that shit should have happened years ago. They are just so right for one another. Like you and Gray, and Laxus and Flare. You're all…finding each other and so in love that I'm so _fucking jealous Natsu_."

Jealousy. Yeah, that was that stupid little emotion that was burning behind her eyes and in her heart right then, that and a whole cup and a half of bitterness.

She heard the water stop running, but she kept talking. She should have said these things months ago. She should have gone to Laxus and told him right away, should have called Flare and spilt her guts, even if it was the middle of the night. But she didn't, so they came out in a tumble of doubt and uncertainty in Natsu's kitchen at eight in the morning while her best friend cleaned a sex toy in the sink and she still hadn't brushed her fucking teeth.

 _How was this her life now?_

"I _want_ that so fucking bad. When I found… _Sting_ , I thought that he was it. The guy that I would marry and love forever and have kids and go through life with. Gods I was so fucking naïve. He was my first, did you know that? I didn't ever tell anyone and never corrected anyone in high school who thought I was a slut cause of my clothing choices that I was still a virgin. I gave him everything. All of it. And that greedy son of a bitch goes and fucks someone else? How did I not see it? How c—could I not see what was right…right in front… _shit_ …"

Suddenly she was bawling her eyes out into her best friend's naked chest as he stood in his boxers and hugged her all warm and comforting. Sometime later when her hiccupping sobs finally stopped, she realised she was curled in his lap on the couch with Gray pressed to her back, head and nose stuffed in her hair. He must have joined them sometime, but she couldn't even remember that.

Lucy smiled, feeling better than she had in months and wiped her eyes. "Dammit. I'm sorry I cried all over you like that."

Natsu laughed and just pulled her closer. She could feel Gray's chuckles through her chest. "Don't apologise you weirdo. We're family, right? Your pain is our pain. For what it's worth, I'm sure you'll find someone soon. Even if it isn't Cobra…can't give up hope."

Gray shuffled around behind her to get more comfortable. "When did you get so deep Firebug?"

"Shut it Stripper. I'm not stupid."

Lucy rolled her eyes at her boys. "Alright. Enough flirting when I'm right in the middle of it. Literally. I heard enough of your lovey-dovey stuff this morning."

"Sorry Lushy."

"Uh-huh. I'm going for a shower now, and you two need to get dressed. We need to be at the Sola Tree in three hours and I refuse to be late for the wedding. Macbeth needs to do my make-up and Cancer is meeting me there for my hair." She scampered up the stairs towards the guest room, but thought about something and pointed her fingers at her best friends, giving them her best evil eye.

"And no fighting!"

"Yes sir!" They both gave her lazy salutes. Gray's was only a single finger with a smirk, but it was better than nothing.

"And no more sex, we don't have time for that shit."

Natsu pouted and kicked his legs against the couch, the picture of innocence. "Aye sir."

He watched her go and listened for the shower to turn on, then turned to his other best friend slash lover slash rival. His face like thunder and voice gravelly with rage. "Sting is fucking _dead_. Lu is the strongest, most kick ass bitch next to Erza and he made her cry. Tears, Gray. She was crying goddamn snot tears for almost an hour. Did you know he was her first? How did we not know that?" His words hissed out passed clenched teeth.

"Shit. They won't be able to find his fucking body when we're done with him."

"I want to rip off his arms and shove them up his ass."

Gray wasn't much better but grabbed his boyfriend's arm in a tight grip that was solid but oddly reassuring. "You got that right. I wasn't going to go to help her move back home because she wanted to be independent or something like that…but I'm going out there. I have a feeling Laxus might do the same thing. Bickslow too, maybe Erza and Mira. Just in case he tries something."

"You can count me in babe."

"No shit. I knew you were going whether she wanted you to or not."

"Damn straight. You know me so well. But Gray…"

"I know Natsu. He'll pay. Promise."

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

"Beautiful baby. You're a star."

Lucy tilted her head to the side and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Cancer was right, but he was the star here. He always knew how to do hair just right. "It's perfect as always Cancer, thank you so much, especially since this was so short notice." The soft waves looked elegant in a laid back way while a delicate crown of black dyed flowers sat atop her head giving her an edgy feel that she knew Macbeth would adore.

Leave it to that silly man to make her wear black to his wedding. However, she really did look good in black, so it wasn't any skin off her nose.

"No problem baby. Have fun tonight and come by the salon when you need those split ends dealt with."

"Sure thing Cancer, thanks again. Say hello to Virgo and Taurus for me."

He nodded and left her to slip on her dress. It was only an hour until the ceremony started and they were all getting ready in a beautifully rustic manor house attached to South Gate Park where the wedding would be held under the gorgeous Sola Tree.

Lucy twirled again in front of the floor length mirror, admiring her floaty dress with no back (again showing off her tattoos wonderfully, praise drunk Lucy) before Ever and Sora barged into the room she was in, and suddenly they were all chatting and laughing and hugging. It had been so long since she had felt so happy. Thank the Gods that she was finishing her degree and she could come back home. Crocus was nice, yes, but it just wasn't Magnolia.

They were all in black with beautiful accents of deep blue or sharp bright green that complemented each other nicely. Evergreen's dress was sort and tight, just how she liked it, while Sorano opted for a gorgeously tailored suit, boldly going with no shirt or bra underneath. Their bouquets were black tied with ribbons in the same accents. Who would have thought that Laxus could figure out flowers so well…with her help of course. She was mildly impressed her sleep deprived brain actually spit out something that looked so elegant at four in the morning nearly a week ago.

Fuck baby's breath, these bouquets were classy as shit.

"Alright ladies. Sit your asses down, it's time. And no crying after this, not until after the ceremony is over. It might say water proof but I don't care. No one will be looking like that girl from The Ring at my wedding."

Lucy snorted and sat down next to Sora while Macbeth dove right in and expertly handled all their make-up needs while keeping up the chatter in a way to dissuade his nerves. She could tell he was anxious. This was a big step in his relationship, but he loved Bickslow – any blind man could see that – with all his fucking heart. It was right and no one would tell them otherwise, no one would mess this up for her brother and his precious cinnamon bun fiancé.

Or she would Lucy-kick their balls clear across the continent.

Before he left the room with a small smile, he grabbed her hands and whispered "you're perfect for him, treat him good, okay?" and when she nodded with a faint blush – because who else could he be talking about but his best friend? – he smirked and went off to touch up his own make-up. Sorano gave her a knowing smile but left it alone.

It was time to get these two hitched if it was the last thing she ever did.

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

"I'm dead."

"I'm sorry…what?" Bickslow looked up from his phone screen to see that Cobra wasn't even looking at him when he was talking.

"I'm dead. Right? I'm in hell because no one can look that good and be real. So…therefore. I'm dead." Cobra knew he had a punch-drunk just-got-back-handed-into-next-week look on his face, but he didn't really care because there was Lucy and she looked _phenomenal_.

Bickslow leant around him then wolf whistled, which got Lucy's attention. The groomsmen and women we all gathered at the crest of a hill that over looked the rows upon rows of friends and family that had shown up to revel in the beauty of this wedding. They would proceed down from this point to where Macbeth was already waiting for his soon-to-be husband, shifting from foot to foot trying to dispel his excess energy.

"Damn baby. You look fucking hot." Bix wiggled his eyebrows at his little sister's unimpressed face, but he could see that small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth and he knew that she was trying not to giggle, even when she flipped him off. "That's my girl."

"You look good too Bixy. Your hubby will definitely tear that suit off you with his teeth as soon as possible." And he did look good. His suit, like Macbeth's was white. His tie was a deep blue that matched nicely to his hair while Macbeth was resplendent in a matching tux with coat tails and was truly flamboyant just like his personality. Bright lime green beads hung from his braids.

Cobra just couldn't hold himself anymore, and with no regard to his health or well-being (seeing as her actual MMA champion fighter brother was standing literally _right there_ ) he almost flew to her side cupped her face in his hands as gently as possible and kissed that vexing, stunning, amazing woman as deeply as he could.

He was so very proud of himself when he felt her body loosen and collapse into his with a small moan that he swallowed greedily.

Whistling and murmurs of confusion whirled around them, but they were forgotten almost immediately. Lucy was all that mattered right then, that and kissing her. Even air was a secondary problem, because who needed to breathe anymore?

Not him, that's who.

"As much as I _love_ watching you try to eat my sister's face off…it's time to get this shit on the road." Laxus drawled from beside him and Cobra was brought back down to Earthland from up in the clouds. Her lips were just _that good_. He wanted them all over his everything as soon as fucking possible.

Lucy flipped her brother off without turning her head from him before shooing Laxus away with a wildly flapping hand. Cobra snickered, she really was something else.

"Hey there Starshine."

She chuckled and looked up at him almost shyly though her lashes. "Hi Cobra."

Lucy was adorable and so cute that his heart was crying. She was just too much. He leant forward and whispered in her ear, close enough that he could feel her shiver as his lips grazed the shell. Totally unintentional, but he could roll with a little sexual tension. "Call me Erik, Erik…Ophis."

Her sunny smile was worth it all. "Hello Erik, nice to meet you." He knew he made the right choice in telling her. He planted another kiss on her forehead and snuck one more to her sweet lips before he knew his time was up.

Cobra tugged her hand and led her towards her spot in the procession and left her with a lingering look that hopefully conveyed every single thing that he wanted to do to her tonight. Dirty sexy things that shouldn't be mentioned in good company.

 _Fuck it_. "I can't wait to get you alone tonight…" He whispered to her so that Laxus wouldn't skin him alive right then. She blushed a little but gave him a wink and a smirk that made him think that she was definitely down for anything as soon as possible.

He took his place beside Laxus – no he wasn't scared per se, he was just warry of the other man – and waited for his cue in the music. They walked down the aisle in silence until just before they parted to split off from each other.

"Keep her safe." The whispered words were more of a promise than a threat, and Cobra could hear the underlying 'fuck with her and I'll break you in half' in his tone, but it was more than he was willing to say he deserved. He had no intention of hurting Lucy, ever. She was something special and he knew that.

He nodded, and they were on their way.

Cobra caught the tail end of Lucy with her arm hooked around Sawyer's, both smiling and giggling at something he said. He couldn't help but imagine something like this someday in the future for them both.

 _Holyfuck_ he was a giant sap now…

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

The ceremony went perfectly, even if Bickslow's vows had a little too much innuendo in them to be entirely kosher. But that's who he was and he loved Macbeth with all his heart (and his penis) so it worked out in the end.

They had taken four thousand and fifty-two pictures in the gardens after that, especially by the Sola Tree, then everyone had piled back into their vehicles and sped off towards Galuna Island (the hotel casino that was owned by a good friend of Makarov's and where most everyone was staying if they were out of town for the wedding). They had booked one of the ballrooms for the reception and everything went smoothly up until that point with Erza only having to smack Natsu once to remind him of his manners.

Bickslow and Macbeth were introduced to a raucous cry and then it was time to eat and drink and dance until their legs fell off.

Cana made a direct line towards the bar with half of their friends on their tail. Natsu snagged her a glass of champagne before they all disappeared. She patted his cheek and called him a 'good boy' for that. Oh yeah, she knew _alllll_ about her brother's praise kink.

But only because that information was thrust upon her unwilling ears by the man himself. Didn't mean she couldn't tease him about it though.

Lucy watched Bix and Macbeth dance together for the first time as a married couple. They looked like they had the stars in their eyes and couldn't keep their gazes from each other. That little bit of jealousy in her heart flared up again before she stamped it back down. Her brother deserved joy, more than anything and right then, Lucy could honestly say she completely happy for him.

She chuckled and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye away as Macbeth tried to dip the much taller man in his arms then planted a truly sloppy kiss to his mouth that was starting to turn into a bit of a make-out session on the dance floor.

"WOOHOO! Get some Bixy!" She couldn't help but throw her hands in the air. If her friends were going to be gross and embarrassing, she would forever point it out to the crowd. He flipped her general direction off but didn't pull his mouth away from his husband. Lucy rolled her eyes at that, these two were just too much, really.

Other couples were joining the newly married (and still kissing) pair on the dance floor. Laxus and Flare swayed back and forth slowly so that Flare didn't put too much strain on the baby. Natsu and Gray were locked in an embrace that Lucy recognised as a precursor to one of their infamous brawls or just before they started to fuck. She scrunched her nose up at that, hopefully someone would make a move to break them up. Where was Erza when you needed her?

Levy was standing on the tops of Gajeel's feet while he twirled them around the floor. That man had some serious moves and it looked like her friend was entirely enjoying her boyfriend's rhythm. Cana looked grumpy to be dancing with her father, but the sparkle in her eyes betrayed her true feelings. Evergreen and Elfman were arguing again while Sora and Sawyer were playfully bickering like siblings.

She sighed happily, finally perfectly content for the first time in months.

Until her body ratcheted up at least a thousand degrees when an arm draped over her waist and a mouth she wanted to feel all over her body whispered 'care to dance Starshine?' in her ear.

"Of course Erik. Only if you dip me at the end though. It's my only condition." She smiled when she felt him laugh.

"For you? Anything."

And so they danced for hours together, drank more than their fair share of alcohol, and ate some delicious food that she couldn't remember the names of for the life of her. At one point, Lucy had to kick off her awful heels and sighed in pleasure when her bare feet hit the floor. She giggled, almost at her limit, but she didn't mind the bubbly feeling inside her, especially because when Erik looked at her like she was the only thing in the room it made her stomach flip nicely.

Cobra blinked a bit then smiled roguishly at her, as if she was something entirely knew and crazy to him. "Better?"

She leant up again in his arms and got as close as possible to him, practically moulding her torso to his. Which was fine with her because _damn_ those were muscles pressing against her. "…much."

"You're…weird. You know that Starshine? In a good way."

"Oh. I've been told. So many times. That's what Gray and Natsu call me almost every day. So don't worry. I get it."

"I like it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." And then Cobra kissed her on the dance floor and she was a giant cliché again, but this time…she couldn't care in the least because he was warm and tasted like something sugary and she was happy.

He tilted her head and dragged a hand up her back, swirling a finger over where he knew her tattoos sat on her spine. The kiss deepened as she shivered against him.

Lucy broke away with a gasp. Damn that man could kiss. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way…but I need to get you out of those clothes and inside me as soon as possible."

His soft grin that was filled with fond amusement only moments ago was wiped clean off his face as a devilish smirk grew until it split his face clean in half, sharp teeth glinting in the fairy lights. "Shit. Yeah. I need you too Starshine."

Lucy scrambled to find her shoes, but apparently, she was too slow when Cobra came behind her and yanked her up over his shoulder and booked it towards his hotel room that was his home for the past three days.

"Erik! Oh, _fuck_ …at least hold my dress down you animal."

Cobra patted her fine ass and she could almost feel that smirk against her side as he smiled. He may even have wiggled his eye brows, but she didn't know for sure. "Will do Starshine. No one's going to get a peek at the goods except me."

As she gave a little wave to Cana (who was whistling at the display) and all her brothers (who were a mixture of grim amusement and lewd smiles) she couldn't help but feel as if something was changing. And it definitely had something to do with the man who was now stroking her thighs underneath her dress while he carried her tipsy ass up to his room to ravish her to death.

 _Oh_.

But what a pleasurable death it would be.

* * *

 **~ Monday ~**

* * *

And so here Lucy was, a giant walking cliché of a person, having had drunken sex while being a bride's maid at her brother's wedding to a man she had only met two days beforehand.

Was it too much to thank Sweet Serena that she had been on birth control for most of her adult life? He felt really hot and solid inside her (even if she was still a bit sore) and she reveled in that feeling of fullness.

But, as he thrust into her from behind in such a way that could only be called leisurely (hung-over sex needed to be _not_ fast and hurried because her brain was pickled and the drums were super loud still) and whispered all the things that he still wanted to do to her, with her, and for her, she was overcome with a strange wave of contentment.

Cobra's hand drifted down her front (the one with the massive bold purple Cobra coiled on the bicep and up his neck) to play with her throbbing clit and she gasped his name.

"E-erik! Fuck…"

And it was the most amazing sound that he had ever heard. He had hazy half formed memories of last night with his Starshine, but he would remember this morning for years to come.

His other arm wrapped around her knee and lifted her leg up so that he could stroke in deeper and harder without moving faster. Lucy's head tilted back enough that she could suck on his Adam's apple and he almost came then and there. She surrounded him, her scent of sugar and bitter alcohol from the night before, and her golden hair in a tangled pile on the white pillows. And her.

She writhed in front of him, trying to impale herself on his cock as her walls fluttered and squeezed around him. Lucy was close and all he wanted right at that moment was to feel her plummet over that edge, to feel her shake and tense up in his grasp, to hear her voice crack when she spoke his name.

So he sped up a little and pinched that special nub between two fingers and she was lost. His name an absolutely _wrecked_ almost silent shriek in the silence of the room and that was all it took for him meet his end as well.

Cobra stuffed his face into the crook of her neck and breathed her in. He didn't know what she wanted from him later, but he was sold on her. If she only wanted one night (an a morning, but it didn't really count because it was before noon and they were both hung-over) that would have to be enough for him, but he knew his heart and knew that he would pine over her like a high school boy if she left it at this.

Lucy lazily pulled herself off of him with a small hiss, but flopped around on the bed until she had turned and fit herself nicely chest to chest with her head under his chin. "Good morning Erik."

"Morning Starshine." His voice was rumbly and deep and a shudder of new arousal rocked her stomach, but then it turned into actual nausea, which was unacceptable really.

"What to get some breakfast? I know I could go for something greasy and with a lot of bread. I can't remember the last time I drank so much…"

He almost laughed in relief. She didn't want to leave whatever it was between them to only this. "Alright. Sounds good actually. I _need_ a humongous coffee anyways."

"Great!" Lucy untangled herself from him, a jumble of loose sated limbs and sweaty palms. "Just let me puke my guts out real quick and then we can head down."

He laughed at her stumble and fell in love with the way she sheepishly smiled back at him, completely bare for him to see in all her morning glory, all tattoos and golden halo and shaking knees.

Yeah.

Breakfast would be good.

* * *

 **~ Three Weeks Later ~**

* * *

"No Erik."

"Yes."

Lucy pouted up at him with her cute little lips stuck out. He really was weak when it came to her. It didn't even matter that he had met her less than a month ago. Cobra was willing to say he was entirely in love with this woman that still completely vexed him in all the best ways.

But this argument was a recurring one. "I don't want you to pay for me to move Erik. I have money, and it's my stuff. Let me do this okay?"

It wasn't going to be very expensive. But can he really be blamed if he wanted to give her the world and treat her like a damn Queen? Some would say he was whipped.

If that was the case, then fine. He was entirely pussy whipped and he didn't give a flaming rat's ass about it because Lucy was amazing and she was worth everything.

"Fine." He side-eyed her evil expression she only got when she knew she had won something. "Then I'll be paying for the coffee then."

"—but…"

Erik held up his hand in front of her face. Damn she was stubborn, like a little Laxus clone. "Nope. Go sit over there and wait." He spun her around and patted her butt (what? Sue him he loved her ass) to get her going.

She only glared and huffed off to sit petulantly on one of the comfy chairs in the corner of Mermaid Heel.

He smirked at the chuckle from Kagura as she witnessed the almost daily routine from them. "Afternoon Kagura. Our usual please."

She nodded. "Of course Cobra."

Erik liked Kagura very much. She didn't smile a lot and took absolutely no shit from anyone and called him a bastard once. He really did like her.

He handed her the correct change and checked his messages on his phone while waiting for the coffees to be finished.

Jellal had stopped him from receiving emails from work – that damned blueberry – so that he could 'relax' or whatever, so all he had was a ridiculous amount of spam texts from Natsu (he regretted ever letting that little shit have his number) and a single text from his not-as-moronic boyfriend Gray when their plane would get in that afternoon.

All of Lucy's siblings (mostly Natsu and Bickslow, as they had actually seen the aftermath) had warned him about _Sting_. To say that he was confused about how someone could cheat on Lucy was an understatement. He was livid, but probably not as enraged as Natsu was, seeing as that man had graphically described what he wanted to do to Sting's intestines while said man was still alive and watching had actually made Cobra a little queasy.

When Lucy had heard that he had three months off of work (they had talked for days after the wedding was finished about the future and what that night had actually meant to each other) Lucy had asked him to visit her in a fit of spontaneity that surprised him, but was apparently normal if her families reactions were anything to go by.

Obviously he said yes, and he had yet to leave her little apartment here in Crocus. He was happy with her that was for certain. He also liked the fact that she was moving back to Magnolia in a couple of days and would be only a forty five minute train ride commute from his house in Acalypha, which was where Crime Sorciere was stationed.

Cobra thanked Kagura with a small bow of his head and she only nodded back while handing him the coffees.

He watched his Starshine's eyes light up when she saw him coming, and that always managed to make his little blackened heart in his chest beat a bit faster.

"Here you go Starshine."

"Thanks, Erik."

Cobra sat there in the coffee shop with his girlfriend and watched her burn her tongue on the coffee he had given her, and he wondered when he had ever got so lucky to be given this chance at something great.

He chuckled at her in that way that he knew would make her annoyed.

"Shut up Cobra."

"Make me."

So she did, by slotting her perfect little mouth over his in a kiss that was only on _this_ side of obscene. Yeah, this was great alright.

(In seven months when her invitation to Gray and Natsu's wedding in the next year was received, Lucy would happily check off the 'plus-one' box with gusto and a cackle, even though her significant other was sitting right next to her on their couch watching her with that one violet eye like she was crazy, because he had received the exact same letter in the mail. She would shrug and tell Erik that she had been waiting forever to do that. She would proceed to stick her tongue out and he would lean forward to try and bite it like the heathen he was.)

* * *

 **:3**

 **Tomorrow: Frost**

 **Stay Crazy,**

 **LoadedEel**


	8. Curse

All Rights to Hiro Mashima

 **The seventh prompt for Colu week is giving me heaps of trouble, but I wrote this little fluffy bit for the bonus day only two hours after the prompts were announced way back when.**

BEWARE THE INTUITION! THE BROTP!

* * *

 **~ Bonus Day: Curse ~**

 _In which Lucy asks the truly deep questions._

* * *

She waited.

For over three months she waited and watched trying to figure out the man that had deemed her worthy enough to sacrifice to a gigantic clock that turned into a more confusing humongous fish.

She said nothing to him, or about him.

Not when he and the rest of Crime Sorciere had walked through their doors asking for a second chance – which she was entirely for, by the way, everyone deserved a second chance – she hadn't spoken a word to him.

She conversed with Angel, about the spirits and about how she had come to understand how she acted was cruel. Cheered Racer on when he ran against Jet. Spoke of the finer points of horticulture with Hoteye, and the search for his brother. Dragged Midnight into a dimly lit corner and wrapped a blanket around him, garnering a small smile from those painted lips of his in thanks.

Over the course of two weeks, she came to know them as their alter egos, the scared children from the Tower of Heaven who only hoped and prayed for their lives to get better…or to just be ended. Sorano, the woman who loved her sister so fiercely it brought tears to her eyes. Macbeth, the man who only wanted to please his father, and then when he was lost, only wanted to inflict chaos because he wanted others to understand how he felt. Richard, the big teddy bear that would do anything for a friend, in the name of love, in the name of his brother. Sawyer, the smooth gentleman (when he wanted to be) who just wanted to outrun his problems until they were in his dust.

But she didn't know Cobra, didn't know his true name. The name of the boy that had been beaten and tortured and broken at the hands of Jellal, and then Brain. She didn't know who he was, didn't know how to speak to him, didn't know how to even make the first move or if she should wait for him to come to her.

The others were comfortable with her, but he was the anomaly. But it wasn't just her he didn't speak with, only conversing with his immediate family, and Jellal on occasion. But other than that, he was silent, sitting in a corner with a mug of bleach or other poisons, day in and day out.

He went on missions with his family, or alone. No one else approached him, no one attempted comradery. Perhaps he liked it better that way?

So she resolved to wait.

To sit and wait for him to come to her. He might never do it, but she would give him time and space, just like he had given her time and space to think over his actions in the past, how they had affected her and those around her. How they had affected her family. How, when they had fought against each other, he looked so empty and pained that she didn't know what to think, like he was desperate to cause chaos in Midnight's name just because he could. Or perhaps it was because he wanted to lose the sense of self, lose his identity along with time, so that he would become meaningless like those around him had told him he was his whole rotten life?

She suspected it was a mix of those two.

So she waited some more.

She waited six months, calculating and contemplating. Learning all she could by careful observation and overheard snippets of conversations. No doubt that he could hear her, his soul listening magic was legendary after his fight with Natsu.

But still he sat and drank in the corner, never giving her the time of day, never looking up at her as he listened to those around him. Never commented about the rambling in her soul.

Until on an innocuous day like any other in the middle of June, a large brawl broke out between Natsu and Gray – nothing new there – except for the fact that almost everyone, including Nab _and Levy_ were pulled into the fight. The noise was deafening and she had walked right through those cracked open doors to witness mayhem and destruction at the hands of her best friend and her comrades and team mates that would rival what Tartaros had inflicted on their guild hall.

But her attention – after she had dogged a left shoe and half a wooden chair – was drawn to the man that had always welcomed a fight by Natsu in the past, but hadn't so much as raised a finger in the last six months to the Fire Dragon's challenges.

Cobra sat in the corner once again, but this time his face was screwed up in pain. Not so much that others would notice nor the fact that his hand was clenched around his mug so tightly his knuckles were turning bone white. But she could see it, she could see the twitch in his left eye when a table was smashed, the flinch when someone would yell.

She thought back to all the times she had watched him silently, and realising the relief she could read in his face was there every time he had left for a mission.

It was the noise of the guild, of her friends and family that was driving him into the quietest corner he could find. She reasoned that it wasn't even that quiet seeing as he could still hear the souls of the bodies around him, and at any given time, there was close to a hundred and sometimes more in the beer hall of Fairy Tail. And if Natsu and Gajeel's souls sounded anything like themselves while they were hurling insults at each other, it must be grating on his nerves constantly.

It was a wonder they weren't all poisoned in the first week he had come to the guild filled with crazies and neurotic orphans.

Why hadn't he just left and come back? Why inflict this pain on himself?

The answer was simple of course. He had family and friends here too and to leave would be something close to abandoning them, in his mind it seemed.

She couldn't take one minute of watching him needlessly inflict pain on himself.

So, she realised she was done waiting. Six months was enough time to adjust, it was time to come forward and either help or endure his wrath.

"Come with me Cobra." Wrapping her hand around his wrist, she made him jump in his seat, his one good eye blowing wide with apprehension. She had startled him. _Him!_

The man with soul listening magic who could hear anything and everything, was startled. That was the last straw for her. So, with a stern look and a tug on his arm, she lead him out into the late summers afternoon and down a path towards her favourite training grounds. Laxus had shown her one day after they had bonded nicely over the fact that they were the only blondes in Fairy Tail and a bottle of spiced rum.

It was secluded, a small pond – she could practice her water magic which she had received from Aquarius and still kept relatively secret – and a clearing devoid of stones and debris. It was perfect to spar in, a fact that both Loke and Capricorn approved of when shown.

She sat down heavily on a boulder close to the small entrance and Cobra practically collapsed in a boneless heap in the tall grass beside her. He was breathing heavy, but the colour was coming back to his cheeks again and he had stopped wincing constantly.

"How did you know?"

"That you were in pain?"

"…yes."

"I could see it in your face, in your hands. The way your shoulders were tensed and tight."

He gave her an incredulous look, one eye blearily glaring at her through the lingering pain. "How?"

She smiled, a thin little thing that barely lifted one side of her mouth. "I've been watching you for months."

"That's the creepiest thing anyone has ever said to me. Ever."

"It's true. But I wasn't doing it to freak you out. I just…didn't know how to approach you like I did the others. You always kept to yourself and only spoke to those in Crime Sorciere. I didn't want to push my presence on you."

"They were right about you."

"Pardon?"

"You're too nice, too considerate. You'd probably give Zeref a second chance and possibly a hug."

She turned her nose up at him and snorted. "I would do no such thing."

One maroon eye brow raised. "You sure?"

"Well…maybe."

He rolled his eye. "Knew it. Precious little Fairy with the biggest heart anyone has ever seen."

Her mood subdued, she started to rip up the dandelion heads around her, watching as their fluff was blown far in the wind. "What does it feel like, hearing all those souls?"

His scowl deepened until it was the size of Pergrande. "Painful, excruciating." He spat the words like they were poison. "It's a goddamn curse."

"Most would say that it was a gift. You can literally hear _everything_."

"That's just it, I can hear everything, all the time. I can't turn it off. Ever…do you know what that Fire Fuck's soul sounds like? Every minute of every day?"

"…no?"

"There aren't any words at all, usually I can hear something, snippets. It's just war drums with him, cymbals and lightning and _clashing fists_. That's it."

"You know…that makes a lot of sense. What about me."

"Nothing." His answer was too quick, too sudden. But she didn't think he was lying.

"What do you mean…nothing?"

"I can't hear anything from you. Didn't you ever wonder why I was so angry at you all those years ago? You were a weakness, something new, something different. I had been raised to see my weaknesses as threats, and therefore exterminate them. You being a Celestial Mage was really just serendipity. Two birds, one stone, if you will."

"…that wasn't what I was expecting."

"Yah, well, when the guild gets too much; I usually just listen to your soul and let everything else wash over me like white noise. But today…"

She nodded. "I wasn't there. I woke up late."

Cobra grimaced. "I had forgotten how bad they could get."

"Why are you telling me all this?"

"I don't really know."

"Alright. Well then Cobra, in the spirit of something different, something new and exciting and weird…let's go on a mission together tomorrow."

"Fuck no. I don't wanna be cooped up with the She-Hulk and the Flaming Dillhole longer than I have to. The squirt is fine, but her soul is as sweet as fucking candy. The Icicle is fine too, orderly thoughts with minimal sound. Must have something to do with his magic."

She laughed so hard at his nickname for Erza that she almost fell off her boulder, she would have to remember that one for later. "No, I meant just the two of us. I know everyone else and now I want to know you."

"Why?" He looked entirely stunned, the expression was cute on his face and made him look years younger than the scowl did.

"Curiosity?"

"I can't believe I'm doing this, but fine. Yes. Fine. Tomorrow."

"Do you want to sit here longer?"

"…yes."

So they sat and waited for the sun to set completely and she relocated herself to lay in the thick soft grass on his left side. Then they sat some more in silence as the stars turned above them both.

"Call me Erik." He had whispered to her in the early moments before dawn, sleep dripping from his voice.

"Alright. Erik. It's nice to finally meet you." She replied, happy she had stopped waiting and acted instead.

* * *

 **Love you all long time...stay safe with all this crazy weather out there!**

 **Stay crazy,**

 **LoadedEel**


	9. Frost

All Rights to Hiro Mashima

 **Loosely based on Greek Mythology, the legends therein and everything and everyone's roles are seriously fucked around. Although, I tried to keep the OOCness to a minimum. EVERYTHING IS LOOSE. SO LOOSE. DON'T READ TOO MUCH INTO IT.**

* * *

 **~ Day 7: Frost ~**

 _In which Cobra has a bit of a meltdown, Lucy realizes that Cana and Virgo aren't to be trusted, and by the Gods, they were both tired of being cowards._

* * *

"You're being bitchier than usual."

Cobra rolled his eyes at his elder brother, adjusting his posture in his obsidian throne to try and find one that didn't make his spine feel like pudding. Then he rolled his eyes _again_ at the ridiculous chair that was carved from solid rock. He'd been sitting on it for millennia and no matter how many times he complained to the Fates, he still had to sit his ass down on something that made him numb in places he probably shouldn't be numb.

"Shut it. I'm just as bitchy as I always am. No more no less."

Laxus pouted. "That's no way to speak to your big brother. Or you know…the ruler of the Gods."

"I'm the Lord of the Underworld, what are you going to do to me that hasn't already been done? I am _literally_ in Hell. I do what I want and you know that. And just because you and I are related…doesn't mean I won't sic Cubellios on you for annoying me."

His blonde brother glowered. "Her poison doesn't work on me." He didn't sound completely sure of himself as he eyed the giant bright purple serpent warily.

"Wanna bet?"

"Whatever Cobra. We're fucking immortal, what would poison do to me?"

"Probably make all your hair fall out."

Laxus' hand shot up to his perfectly coifed just-got-out-of-bed sparky look and gave him the evil eye. "You know Mira would slaughter you in a heartbeat. She loves my hair."

Sharp fangs glinted in the muted green light that permeated this room. "Sure, sure. What are you even doing down here? You hate the dark, and spirits. _And the cold._ You made your palace as close to the fucking sun as possible on a damn mountain so you could throw your thunderbolts from on high."

"What? I can't just come to see my brother if I want?"

"No. It's been almost five hundred years since I've seen you down here. Usually, you make me come up there and _endure_ everyone else just so you can tell me that I look pale. Which I don't, my skin has always been darker than yours."

"The term is _sallow,_ not pale. You need more sun. And whatever, you love us."

"Dammit, Sparky. No. I have no love for anyone. Isn't that why you stuck me down here away from everyone else all those millennia ago so I wouldn't 'cramp your style' or whatever? Back when you were partying and fucking every Nymph in sight before you settled down and Mira whipped your ass into shape?"

Cubellios, Cobra's ever loyal companion hissed in a way that could only be heard as a snicker. Cobra smiled at her. She always got his humour and he thanked everything he had that she had been allowed to keep him company down here in the Underworld.

Just having spirits for company for eternity was…a little sad. And only he could hear their souls, so no one could even share in his lament of their constant wailing.

"Juvia believes you're lonely."

Cobra actually snarled and lashed out at his brother for that remark. But Laxus only batted his hand away like he was some overgrown puppy acting out. The guy had muscles on his muscles for the God's sakes, he was like a wall of thick skin and stupidly perfect hair. "You two are talking behind my back again? Seriously? Did you learn nothing after that whole 'release the Titans on Mount Magnolia' a couple thousand years ago? I was pissed at you then, and I can be pissed at you now as well if that's what you're aiming for. I swear on the Fates that I'll open Tartaros back up and let Jackal go wild again. Don't _fucking_ tempt me Thunder Thighs."

Laxus flapped his hand, dismissing his brother's threats easily. "It's not like that. Just because your older brother and older sister—"

"Barely older! Like…four minutes older!"

"—are talking about you, doesn't mean it's bad. We're just…worried."

That made him pause, Cobra's anger deflated in his chest. Juvia always worried about him, she was the Rain Woman after all and oversaw the ocean. She was as temperamental and chaotic as the waves she rode. But Laxus wasn't usually the one who admitted to something like that. "Worried about what exactly?" Cubellios wound around his shoulders a little tighter in response to his tone, like she could feel his anxiety.

"You need to get laid."

Nope. He was right and Laxus was still a giant dick.

"Ugh. Fuck you."

"Or…like…find a mate or something."

The annoyance and anger and pissed off feelings were back. "Don't even fucking talk to me about that! It took you _years_ to pull your head out of your ass and recognize that Mira was _actually_ flirting with you. And Juvia has the unhealthiest relationship with Gray I have ever seen. She's a goddamn stalker Laxus. Our sister. Is. A. Stalker. "

Laxus pulled a face. "I know. It's getting a little ridiculous to be honest and I feel for the guy, I truly do, even if he's a moody little fucker. But I meant in general. You've been pining after the same Goddess for as long as I can remember. You—" Laxus actually had the gall to point one of his stupid fingers in Cobra's face here, "—never went wild…err, well…you went slightly evilish, but I don't think that counts."

Cobra's heart twisted in guilt, both for the destruction he brought when he tried to take over Mount Magnolia years back and for the fact that his 'pining' for the Goddess in question was close to what Juvia was doing to Gray. He felt a little stalkerish at times, but at least he only watched her (as surreptitiously as possible, thank you very much) when they were all summoned to the big house on the mountain. He didn't _actively_ go out and look for her, he just…thought about her more often than not and sighed a couple (thousand) times over how beautiful she was.

He was brooding.

Shut up, there wasn't a lot of things to do down in the Underworld. Surprisingly enough, Cobra didn't have many (any, really) friends and no one aside from his immediate family had come down here to see him…ever. And listening to Mard go on and on about how the humidity in Hell was making his hair fluffier than usual was…just so many kinds of annoying.

There wasn't a lot else for him to do other than quietly sigh and think and build his palace. Spirits weren't the most talkative bunch, and the mortals all had their qualms about him. He wasn't the Devil, he wasn't here to make their lives – or afterlives as it were – harder, and he was just doing his job. Laxus watched over the mortals from up top, Juvia controlled the water and kept the sea in balance, and here he was making sure the shores of the River and the climb down to the Depths weren't all clogged up with the souls of those ready to pass on. It was important work.

And it was a low blow for Laxus to bring that shit up in conversation though, even if he was trying to be persuasive. "Don't talk about her like that. You know nothing will ever come of my..."

"…infatuation? Obsession?"

" _It's just a crush you fucker!"_

"Crush my ass, and how do you know she doesn't feel _anything_ for you as well? Have you even spoken to her?"

"Only a handful of times over the past thirty years, and before that…nothing but passing glances. I took me so much courage to do even that." They did speak and Cobra could honestly say that they were some of the best times he could remember. She was engaging and so incredibly witty and _smart_. She didn't back down from her beliefs and the way she looked when she was passionate about something…

…just…so enthralling. She was captivating in a way that he had never known before.

 _And_ Laxus could read his feelings on his face apparently.

"My Gods. You are so pathetic."

Cobra wilted again in his stupid hard ass throne. "I'm the Lord of the Underworld…she's…she deserves better than a frost covered wasteland with only my snarky self as company and a never-ending line of spirits that shuffle through here. She should have someone who can give her everything. I only have this…"

He swept his hand out in a 'look-at-all-of-this' motion, which encompassed a throne, one giant three-headed guard snake, and millions of spirits who would be judged then ushered over the River or dragged down to the Depths depending on the weight of their soul. There was a reason he could hear them, and it wasn't just for his entertainment, he was either their salvation or their damnation.

"You have your castle too."

Cobra scoffed and kicked his heel against the bottom of his throne. He was rather proud of his castle, made out of gleaming white stones and ebony floors, ice crystals hanging like chandeliers (the Underworld was cold, very cold), rooms large and spacious, windows gigantic enough to catch every glimmer of light that they could. But next to where she lived…it was nothing. "She has her home in Astralis, Laxus. Literally made out of stars and galaxies. How could this ever compare? How could it ever work? Unlike you, neither of us can leave our posts. I _have_ to judge these souls and she _has_ to listen to their dreams and divinations."

"You both could give it up for a while. Mard Geer is your assistant for a reason and she has the Zodiac. What both of you are, is _stubborn_."

Cobra shook his head before those thoughts could take root in his mind. Ones where she was here, with _him_ , in his arms and in his bed…

"I can't. It's not possible." He whispered into the light mist that seemed to always hang around in this infinitely gigantic place. He had been down here for millennia and even he had never seen the walls.

Laxus pulled himself up to his full imposing height and narrowed his eyes. "If you keep thinking like that, nothing will _ever_ come of it. And forever is a long time when you're immortal Erik."

A black formal shoe whizzed out of nowhere and almost hit the Thunder God in the face. (Togas and sandals had been phased out over the years and Cobra had taken quite a liking to formal business wear that some mortals seemed to favour, the perks of a well-tailored suit to his ass notwithstanding) "Don't call me that!" but instead of deterring him, Laxus just laughed.

"There's a meeting tomorrow, it's the summer equinox and everyone is required to be there. Show up early, I don't want to have to deal with Natsu for longer than I have to. And no one stops his shit like Erza, and Cana will be around to check on her cards for anything prank-like, but he actually seems a little wary about you still and we don't need to rehash the crap that went down three thousand years ago."

Cobra pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers, already feeling a stress headache coming on from knowing he had to deal with the childish God of War. Just because that fucker had a good mind for tactics and battle plans didn't mean he was any less annoying to be around. "Fuck. We were looking for that damn Golden Fleece for years after that. Yeah, alright, I'll be there."

"You know she'll be there. Maybe you two can hit it off…?"

A second shoe actually clocked him in the shoulder before Laxus could dissolve into lightning and shoot away back to his palace, he cackled wildly at the curses his little brother was letting spill from his mouth.

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

"You know what tomorrow is, right?"

Lucy looked up from her infinitely filling ledger of dreams and shot a confused look at her friend. "Course I do Cana, the equinox…the stars have been changing again and they are more reliable than Dimeria at keeping the time and knowing the season." That Goddess of Time was a moody bitch when she wasn't getting any.

Cana nodded sagely. "Of course. But…do you remember what that means?"

The heavy tome slammed shut. "Shit." Lucy breathed, startled at the fact that the very important meeting could have snuck up on her like that.

"Mhmm. Thought you might forget this year. Actually, I knew it so I came to help you out." Cana's cards flashed out in her hands quick as lightning and twice as deadly if anyone mistrusted her predictions. She wasn't the Oracle for nothing.

"Help me with what, exactly?"

"With the fact that you've been mooning over the same God for eons now and haven't done _anything_ about it."

Lucy sniffed and thumbed the well-worn cover of her beloved book. It held all the dreams, unconscious or not, of the mortals down in Earthland. It was her job to listen and chart the stars to see if those dreams could amount to anything, and if they could, then it was within her power to nudge those dreams into reality. Some were long forgotten, lost to the sands of time, while others were remembered and realized and amounted to wonderful things.

"I'm not _mooning_ over him, that's Gray's department. I just…I admire and respect him. He's witty and forthcoming with his answers and he makes me laugh. Dammit, I don't know Cana." She slumped backward in her woven chair, the deep blue cushion padding her back comfortably. "He's different. Even with all that crap that happened with the Titans. He was…hurt, not evil, everyone knows that. He treats me like a woman with an opinion to be heard and even argues with me about things but never in a condescending way. Like he _wants_ to know my reasons and he just likes to bicker."

" _Damn_ girl…"

"—and even if I'm not like Erza or Mira, or even his sister, he still…he still comes to me sometimes, he still seeks me out at these meetings to catch up!"

"Don't forget the fact that he stupid sexy."

"Ugh. I know. So fucking delicious, I could eat him up in seconds."

"You've got it so bad."

Lucy tries to curl up into a little ball in her throne. "I know." She's whining and she knows it but no one but Cana can see her so she doesn't feel so terrible about it.

"Why don't you look for him this time? Talk to him and see if he's open to something more than just a passing conversation?"

At this, Lucy glowers over her bent knees like a petulant child. "He's one of the Big Three, Cana. Cobra is the _Lord of the Underworld_. His brother is _Laxus_ for the God's sakes! Who am I to him? I just listen to dreams Cana, I watch over the stars with my eyes on future alignments of the planets and the turn of the solar systems. We couldn't be farther apart."

"Tch. First of all, shut up with all those negative thoughts. Second, he's just another God alright? Same as any of us. Third, you're practically Laxus' adopted little sister, he loves you for all you did for him and Mira so _hush_." Cana's hip popped out and she took a swig from her ever-present flask. "Honestly, I had no idea you thought like this. We've got work to do because you fucking deserve a good man and if you want Cobra then take charge dammit. _Show him_. Enough with this hiding in the shadows bull alright? Leave all that skulking around shit to him."

Slender hands dove into wavy blonde hair, twisting and knotting the strands with anxiety before Lucy dipped her head in a shaky nod. "Alright. Fine. But just this once? If nothing comes of it, then that's it. Okay?"

Cana clapped her hands together. "Good! Now, let momma Cana work. We need to get started now!"

"What about my job Cana, I can't neglect the mortal's dreams…"

"Hand that book off to Capricorn and call out Virgo. We have to make you the perfect dress."

Lucy didn't question Cana's words but pouted a little when she did pass along the tomb of dreams to her faithful companion. She liked her job, she liked listening to dreams and wishes, and it was exhilarating to hear those down on Earthland while charting the heavenly bodies. They never ceased to amaze her or surprise her.

Humans as a whole were captivating and endlessly exciting.

"What's wrong with the ones I already have?"

Cana scoffed, affronted. "The black one? Or that other one that you only wear when you want to be comfortable? No. Not special enough."

"I completely agree, Princess."

Lucy jumped as Virgo stepped out of her gate so close to her that she hadn't noticed. "Dammit, Virgo. How many times have I asked you to just call me Lucy? It's been eons and _Princess_ isn't really a name."

Virgo only gave her signature dead stare then turned to Cana. "I have an idea Mistress Cana."

Cana smirked impishly. "Oh, Virgo…you know I love your ideas…"

Lucy grimaced. She had absolute faith and trust in both her spirits and her friends, but the way these two were smiling at each other sent a little shiver down her spine. "I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

Neither gave her an answer to her rhetorical question and started to discuss fabrics that would complement her skin tone.

What had she gotten herself into this time? And why did she feel so over her head?

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

Cobra sighed again and flagged down Jet who was rushing through all the gathered Gods with platers of fluted glasses filled with ambrosia or Bacchus' signature wines, spreading gossip throughout the crowd.

The equinox was a big deal, proven by the fact that all the Gods and Goddesses that would usually be somewhere else doing something more important than mingling with each other and rehashing centuries-old drama had appeared.

Like Gray, who would normally be sleeping at this time – midday – was sneakily stripping off his shirt while glancing over his shoulder to make sure that Juvia wasn't near him. He did look a little tired – if his yawns were any indication – and being the God of the Moon wasn't helping his pasty complexion any.

Mira looked resplendent as ever, conversing pleasantly with Sherry, Goddess of love and passion off to the side of the ballroom. If no one knew any better, they would have thought those two were like sisters, when they truly hated each other.

Sherry was still a little butt hurt over Laxus deciding to chill his ridiculous libido down and decreed that he would only bone Mira – who he later made his wife – over the Goddess of Physical Love. It was a bit of a blow to the woman's pride.

Erza – who had decided that even the equinox wasn't important enough to strip off her normal everyday armour – was keeping a close eye on her counterpart, Natsu. Even if he was the God of War, and she the Goddess, everyone knew that she was the only one that could keep a lid on his more…exuberant tendencies. The only other one that held any sway over the wild God was _Lucy_ of all people, but she hadn't arrived yet.

He watched Laxus smack Sting over the head to try to get him to stop blinding everyone with his smile that _literally_ had the suns power behind it.

Gajeel had Levy in a tight grip at his side while she conversed pleasantly with her fan club (Jet and Droy) while he towered over them all with a painfully constipated look on his face that usually meant he was trying to smile pleasantly, but his mouth just didn't work that way.

It was the same old, same old.

They had been doing this song and dance for as long as any of them could remember. Some of them, like Levy, or Cana, or even the woman who he was… _crushing on_ _thank you very much Laxus, it's not an obsession_ , were relatively new strictly speaking time wise. Cana had only been allowed the honor of joining them after she had lived a long and happy life as a soothsayer once upon a time and was blessed by Mira after she had saved her sister an untimely and very painful injury.

She was one such person who had been reborn and given a second, more permanent life by the Fates. Her and Bacchus got on like a house on fire though, and when those two got together, no wine was safe. Laxus had locked up his rarer collection of the stuff he got from Crete back when there wasn't such a thing as mass production. They were created specifically for the God of the Heavens by his— _loyal followers_ (see: girlfriends) before Mira made her mark.

Cobra raised his eyebrow and sipped at a flute of Ambrosia. Perhaps he would tell that to Mira if Laxus decided to keep up his superiority complex. Or maybe he would just slip some of Cubellios' poison into a drink of his and laugh as all his hair fell out.

It was then that something very much out of the ordinary happened.

There was a commotion at the front doors, a crowd filled with murmurs and titters and grins congregated and blocked his sight. Cobra rolled his one eye. Usually when the vultures descended it wasn't for anything big. Gajeel had got his hair caught in his forge once and showed up with an undercut. No one had stopped talking about _that_ for fifty years.

He kicked himself only moments later when he spotted the reason for all the hubbub, promptly inhaling his drink down the wrong pipe. Because Lucy, _holy hot damn_ —came striding out from the center of the room, looking resplendent in a gown that looked like she had ripped the stars from the heavens themselves and wrapped them around herself.

She was breathtaking, and so, _so_ beautiful.

And he had no idea what to do. Because he wanted to say that to her, to her face and not just in her mind. Like, _straight to her face_ _out fucking loud with words and everything,_ then whisk her away somewhere private and—

"—Cobra?"

He blinked back to the present and nearly choked again when he realized that Lucy was right in front of him and all he had been doing for the past five minutes was stare and gawk at her as she walked right up to him.

Oh, Gods.

She probably thought he was some sort of creeper or some shit like Juvia.

Oh, sweet merciful Fates…he had turned into his sister.

"Are you alright Cobra?"

He coughed a little into a curled fist to hide his blush (and shame, can't forget that). "I'm alright Lucy. H-how are you? You look…"

Lucy patted down her dress in a fit of self-consciousness, her lips tilted in a little grin. "It's too much, isn't it? I never wear anything like this, ever. But—but Cana ambushed me! Virgo too and well…"

"You look amazing." His brain to mouth filter was gone. Vanished.

She looked stunned for all of two seconds before a wide smile split her face in half. "You really think so?" Her voice was barely above a whisper as if she couldn't believe what he had said.

In the wake of her bashfulness, his personality – gruff, a little on the cranky side, but loyal and unwavering – rebooted. His nervous thoughts were pushed out of his head and he stepped into her personal space, forcing her head to tilt up a little so that she could keep looking into his eye. "Gorgeous, Starshine. But then again—"

He pushed a lock of her golden hair behind her ear and bent forward a little to that he could lower his voice even more, his confidence soaring with her little shiver. "—you always looked beautiful."

Unfortunately – or perhaps fortunately because Cobra had just run out of amazing-things-to-say-to-get-Lucy-to-swoon (it was a three-part plan) Laxus decided then and there to start the meeting off.

Over the course of the day – with a slight break in the middle for a filling meal – Cobra couldn't tell anyone _anything_ that had been said. There had been a slight break in formation at the large round table they all gathered around to update the Thunder God on what had happened since the last equinox, as Lucy had tugged him by the hand and sat boldly by his side throughout the briefing. This had caused a little commotion from Natsu, Lucy's best and closest friend, as he pouted at the fact that she wasn't beside him (he was promptly calmed down when a cool hand had found his shoulder, and against all odds, he had listened to Gray for once).

Cobra was too distracted by the little looks Lucy was sending him, and the accidental (not really) touches of their fingers or shoulders when they shifted against one another sent little electric pulses cracking up his spine.

His mouth had run on autopilot and spilled something about the status quo of the Underworld being just fine, and perhaps slid a little jab at Mard Geer through, commenting on the size of his hair. But he couldn't really be sure because all his attention was on the woman beside him that looked like she was born of fiery stars and twisting galaxies.

He was mesmerized.

And he fell down that deep hole further when she was asked to give an update of Astralis. Her face lit up and her eyes blazed like the tail of a comet. He loved her passion.

Cobra knew then and there that there was no going back, and this little _crush_ or whatever was full blown devotion. He was fucking _pining_ for this amazing Goddess, and he was a bit miffed that Laxus was right.

And then suddenly, it was over.

A slim hand slid over his that rested on the table, not quite comprehending what had happened – where did the time go? Was Dimeria playing another trick on them again?

But no.

This was reality, and there was Lucy smiling at him again and it hit him in the chest and his lungs and his brain and his _dick_ all at once.

He wanted her.

And it looked like she wanted him right back.

He led her quietly to the edge of the gathering, intentions clear in his body language. He spotted Laxus and Mira shooting him a quick thumbs up from the other side of the room and he scowled at them and flipped them the bird as discreetly as possible.

Cobra whirled around when they were covered in shadows and darkness, as both seemed to cling to him wherever he went. "Lucy, I want to ask you someth—"

He was cut off abruptly by a kiss so fierce and bruising that he burned from the inside out before he knew what was happening.

Lucy backed away from him with a sheepish smile and an adorable blush. "Whatever it is, Cobra, my answer is yes."

He grinned wickedly, already missing her lips on his. "Come with me? To the Underworld. I want…I want to show you everything."

"How could I say no to that?"

He chuckled, then winced. "You might be a little cold down there though."

She shrugged unperturbed. "So, I'll bring my slippers next time. I have a feeling I won't need them for a while though, you'll warm me up, won't you Cobra?"

Tanned fingers splayed across her back as he hauled her into his chest with a low growl. "Anything Starshine. You have no _idea_ how long I've been waiting for you to say something like that to me."

"Then what are we waiting for?"

He had never called up his Chariot to take them to the Underworld faster than in that moment. Even though time moved differently for them compared to the mortal realms, he wasn't willing to waste any more of it.

* * *

 **-ooo-**

* * *

Lucy squealed as icy toes dipped between her calves, chilling her skin. She kicked out landing a solid hit to her lover's leg. "Fuck off Cobra. Keep those icicles away from me."

He only chuckled and brought her naked body closer to his own, silk sheets sliding over his waist. Her golden head tucked under his chin before he sighed, a little resigned as he knew their time together would be short, a little overjoyed that this had finally happened.

"How long do you have?" He whispered into the still silence.

Lithe little fingers fidgeted with a pendant made of the everlasting ice of the Underworld. It was a gift he had given her only moments before he had decided that he wanted to see her wearing it and _only it_.

Lucy hummed into his neck, breath ghosting over his heated skin. "Not too much longer, it _is_ the longest night of the entire year. I trust the Zodiac, especially Capricorn, but the mortals sleep longer than ever tonight and these dreams are usually the ones that have a chance of becoming reality."

Cobra smiled into her hair and kissed her head. "I understand, you know I do."

Brown eyes sparkled with happiness up at him. "Thank you, Cobra."

His hand blindly groped around until he had one of hers clasped in a tight grip. "I'll come up and visit you? I've always wanted to see Astralis in all its glory. It must be a wondrous place if it's even a fraction of your beauty."

"You're a fucking sap Cobra."

He snorted and burrowed deeper beneath the covers to soak up the warmth of another body beside him. Cobra hadn't realized how _cold_ he had been before. "Only for you, Starshine."

Her little giggle made him smile like the smitten God he was. "I'd like that actually. For you to see the stars, to see my home, that is. I think that would be amazing."

"Good to know."

They fell into a light slumber, intertwined, hearts light even though they knew they would have to part ways soon.

What was a couple of days when they had eons?

* * *

 **Wow.**

 **That took way longer than I ever thought it would. :3 Glad it's finished though, it's been burning a hole in my mind for months. SO, that's it for CoLu Week my precious cupcakes.**

 **If it wasn't clear during the fic, here's a little run down of all the Greek Gods/Goddesses and their FT counterparts:**

 **Lucy – Astraea, Goddess of the Stars**

 **Cobra – Hades, God of the Underworld**

 **Laxus – Zeus, God of Lightning/Ruler of the Gods**

 **Juvia – Poseidon, God of the Sea**

 **Mira – Hera, Mother of the Gods/Goddess of Marriage**

 **Gray – Artemis, Goddess of the hunt/moon**

 **Natsu – Ares, God of war**

 **Erza – Athena, Goddess of war/wisdom**

 **Sherry – Aphrodite, Goddess of love**

 **Sting – Apollo, God of the sun/music**

 **Gajeel – Hephaestus, God of the forge**

 **Levy – Philarion, Goddess of ingenuity**

 **Jet – Hermes, Messenger God**

 **Cana – The Oracle**

 **Bacchus – Dionysus, God of wine**

 **Dimeria – Chronos, Primordial God of Time**

 **Stay Crazy,**

 **LoadedEel**


End file.
